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Amazingly Horrible Names

matiaraye
By matiaraye
Updated Tue May 16 2023
Names that are just plain bad. If you name a child this, you should feel ashamed.
  1. Anakin

    • Origin:

      American invented name

    • Description:

      Anakin Skywalker, aka Darth Vader, is the antagonist in the original Star Wars trilogy. The name Anakin first entered the US Top 1000 in 2014. Its meaning is unknown but is thought to be an homage to a friend of George Lucas.
  2. Hyman

    • Origin:

      Anglicized variation of Chaim

    • Meaning:

      "life"

    • Description:

      Hyman was commonly used by first-generation Jewish immigrants to Anglicize Chaim, but similarities to terms like heinie and hymen have taken it out of the realm of modern possibility. The original Chaim would be preferable to Hyman.
  3. Humphrey

    • Origin:

      German

    • Meaning:

      "peaceful warrior"

    • Description:

      Humphrey is an old name that might have faded completely were it not for that Bogie flair. A royal name in Britain, where it's used somewhat more frequently, Humphrey might just have some life beyond Bogart here, especially with the recent interest in the names of Golden Age Hollywood stars. His first name was the maiden name of his mother, Maud Humphrey, a well-known illustrator who used baby H. as a model.
  4. Mace

    • Origin:

      English

    • Meaning:

      "heavy club"

    • Description:

      Has a slight aura of danger, from its being two types of weapons and a looming character in the Star Wars films. Best left as a nickname for Mason.
  5. Castiel

    • Origin:

      Hebrew

    • Meaning:

      "my cover is God"

    • Description:

      Castiel, which vaulted into the Top 1000 on the wings of the angel hero of the television show Supernatural, is the name of the Angel of the day Thursday. It may also derive some appeal from the newly-fashionable "Cas" syllable, as in Cassian and Cassius.
  6. Gaylord

    • Origin:

      French

    • Meaning:

      "brisk, high-spirited"

    • Description:

      Best left on the old southern plantation, sipping his mint julep.
  7. Clytie

    • Origin:

      Greek mythology name

    • Meaning:

      "glorious or renowned"

    • Description:

      Clytie was a sea nymph who loved the sun god Helios, who spurned her. She turned into the heliotrope flower.
  8. Aryan

    • Origin:

      Indo-Iranian

    • Meaning:

      "warrior, honorable"

    • Description:

      Aryan derives from the Sanskrit word ārya, meaning "honorable" or "high-born." As a term, Aryan was used to describe Indo-Europeans—particularly Iranians—who shared common religious, cultural, and linguistic history. It was later misapplied by the Nazis to refer solely to Germanic and Nordic Caucasians, ultimately corrupting the term.
  9. Jagger

    • Origin:

      English occupational name

    • Meaning:

      "carter"

    • Description:

      Jagger is a swaggering Rolling Stone of a name that's been picked up by a number of fellow celebs, including Lindsay Davenport and Brett Scallions--while Soleil Moon Frye pulled a gender switch when she bestowed it on her daughter. It's edgy with a touch of danger.
  10. Jurnee

    • Origin:

      Spelling variation of Journey

    • Description:

      This overly trendy spelling jumped into the Top 1000 names in 2013. It got there by being the fourth fastest-rising name on the 2013 list, riding the increasing popularity of Journey and Journee.
  11. Seven

    • Origin:

      English word and number name

    • Description:

      This number name first came to public attention when Erykah Badu and Andre 3000 chose if for their son, Seven Sirius Benjamin, born in 1997. Over a decade later, David and Victoria Beckham used it as their daughter's middle name, and now in these days of unisex word names, it's rising for both sexes. It's certainly one of the most name-like numbers: after all, it's only a letter away from Steven.
  12. Ham

    • Origin:

      Hebrew

    • Meaning:

      "hot, warm"

    • Description:

      Along with Shem and Japheth, a son of Noah with a name that's almost never used -- for more obvious reasons than those of his brothers.
  13. Hettie

    • Origin:

      Diminutive of Henrietta, English

    • Meaning:

      "estate ruler"

    • Description:

      It may take another generation or so, but this category of Hettie-Lettie-Lottie names could make a comeback.
  14. Dimple

    • Description:

      An adorable nickname for a smiley baby, but not suggested as a legal name.
  15. Butler

    • Origin:

      English occupational name

    • Meaning:

      "chief manservant"

    • Description:

      An English occupational name and surname that brings to mind old, stately homes, black suits, and white gloves, Butler peaked back in 1919 when 30 boys were given the name. It hasn't appeared in the stats since the 90s and, despite the popularity of occupational names, that first syllable likely puts parents off using this one.
  16. Rube

    • Description:

      Rube is a masculine name that originated as a diminutive form of Reuben, a Hebrew name meaning 'behold, a son'. Historically, it gained recognition in American culture as a nickname and eventually as a stand-alone name. In the early 20th century, 'Rube' became associated with the cartoon artist Rube Goldberg, known for his illustrations of complicated gadgets. The name has also carried connotations of rural simplicity, as the term 'rube' came to mean a country bumpkin in American slang. Though never extremely popular as a formal given name, it maintains a vintage Americana charm. Its short, straightforward sound gives it an unpretentious quality that might appeal to parents seeking a name with historical character and simplicity.

  17. Cletus

    • Origin:

      Greek

    • Meaning:

      "called forth"

    • Description:

      Sometimes used as a short-form of Catholic Pope name Anacletus, Cletus is an ancient name that has not-yet found the popularity of Theodore, Leo, Atticus and Max. It perhaps suffers from its association to the yokel character in The Simpsons , but we think it's time for a reconsideration, given how well it fits into several current trends. Nickname Clete is cute as a button!
  18. Green

    • Origin:

      Color name

    • Description:

      Middle name possibility for a nature-loving family -- Uma Thurman and Ethan Hawke used it for their son's middle name.
  19. Fannie

    • Origin:

      Spelling variation of Fanny, diminutive of Frances

    • Meaning:

      "from France; free man"

    • Description:

      It's hard to believe, via a 21st-century sensibility, that Fannie was ever a Top 50 name. But Fannie was even more popular than Fanny in its late 19th-century heyday, and stuck around much longer, staying on the Top 1000 until the 1960s while Fanny fell off in 1940. Today, however, Fannie sounds antiquated at best, and rude at worst.
  20. Judd

    • Origin:

      Medieval short form of Jordan

    • Meaning:

      "flowing down"

    • Description:

      Judd is a strong but sensitive short form that can easily stand on its own, the second 'd' giving it a lot more substance, and it would also be a good middle name choice. Two recent actors have given it credence--Judd Nelson and Judd Hirsch, and now it's most noticeably represented by comedy director Judd Apatow.

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