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Pet Names So Ugly They're Cute

Sophie Kihm
By Sophie Kihm
Updated Thu Feb 15 2024
Pet Names So Ugly They're Cute

Ugly names for pets are so crusty, they're actually cute. Pet parents love to use ugly names for dogs, such as Buster, Minnie, and Bruce, which are vintage names that aren't yet fashionable for babies. The same goes for ugly names for cats, such as Merlin and Garfield.

What makes a pet name ugly? The best ugly pet names are big, clunky, and full of consonants, such as Brunhilda, Gomer, and Hortense. They'd suit your funny-looking feline or you could subvert expectations and use one on your perfect purebred poodle.

These funny, old-school names are practically extinct for babies (but to be honest, we'd be thrilled to meet a baby named Gertrude or Seymour), which makes them all the better for your pet.

Here, our favorite pet names that are so ugly, they're cute — ordered by their current popularity on Nameberry.

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Funny Dog Names

  1. Wilbur

    • Origin:

      German

    • Meaning:

      "resolute, brilliant"

    • Description:

      Wilbur is a stylish name in the UK whose merits are just starting to be discovered in the US. Wilbur, the loveable pig who Charlotte of the Web called Some Pig, is an inspirational hero. And Wilbur and Orville Wright were early aviationists.
  2. Ethel

    • Origin:

      English

    • Meaning:

      "noble maiden"

    • Description:

      Ethel is a name we once declared as 'So Far Out They'll Probably Always Be Out,' but with the return of other names on that list and with its new starbaby cred via Lily Allen, its soft sound and admirable meaning, we're not so sure.
  3. Mingus

    • Origin:

      Scottish, variation of Menzies

    • Meaning:

      "tenants of a manor"

    • Description:

      Supermodel Helena Christensen named her son in honor of jazz great Charles Mingus, opening up a whole category of jazzy possibilities: Kenton, Calloway, Ellington, Gillespie, Mulligan, Tatum, and Thelonius.
  4. Gladys

    • Origin:

      Possibly a form or Claudia or Welsh

    • Meaning:

      "land, nation"

    • Description:

      Hard as it might be to believe, Gladys was the Harper of 1900, emerging almost out of nowhere to take the naming world by storm. It became a favorite among parents — and writers of romantic Edwardian novels, seen as alluring and unusual. One impetus was the 1870 Ouida novel Puck, whose heroine was the idealized beauty, Gladys Gerant.
  5. Gertrude

    • Origin:

      German

    • Meaning:

      "strength of a spear"

    • Description:

      Could cute nickname Gertie, remembered as cute five-year-old Drew Barrymore in E.T., revive the long shunned Gertrude?
  6. Phyllis

    • Origin:

      Greek

    • Meaning:

      "green bough"

    • Description:

      Phyllis has been used by classical poets for the idealized pastoral maiden. A Greek mythological name of a woman who was turned into an almond tree, Phyllis was in the Top 100 from 1916 to 1958, reaching #24 in 1929, and has the (remote) possibility of joining other revived s-ending names like Iris. In the 'St Clare' book series by Enid Blyton Phyllis is nicknamed Fizz. Just a thought. Phyllida is a variation that sounds at once more old-fashioned and more stylish.
  7. Wanda

    • Origin:

      Slavic or German

    • Meaning:

      "shepherdess; wanderer"

    • Description:

      Rarely heard, and when it is, usually attached to a witch. Historically, though, Wanda was a legendary eighth century queen of Poland, and in literature it is the central character of Ouida's eponymous novel Wanda. A musical namesake is the great Polish harpsichordist Wanda Landowska.
  8. Seymour

    • Origin:

      English

    • Meaning:

      "marshy land near the sea"

    • Description:

      Out playing shuffleboard at his condo and not expected back for several generations -- unless it morphs into a girls' name, a la Sydney.
  9. Fergus

    • Origin:

      Scottish and Irish

    • Meaning:

      "man of force"

    • Description:

      In Celtic lore, Fergus was the ideal of manly courage, making it a charming, slightly quirky Scottish and Irish favorite.
  10. Doris

    • Origin:

      Greek

    • Meaning:

      "gift of the ocean"

    • Description:

      Doris had long been on our so-far-out-it-will-always-be-out-for-babies list, and seemed to be written there in indelible ink. But there are signs of a sea change, that Doris could profit from the revivals of Dorothy and Dorothea.
  11. Olga

    • Origin:

      Slavic variation of Helga, Norse

    • Meaning:

      "holy"

    • Description:

      This Slavic form of the Norse name Helga is a classic in many Slavic countries, including Russia and Poland, where it currently ranks within the Top 100 girl names. It has historically ranked among the most popular names in countries including Ukraine, Latvia, Spain, France, Serbia, Greece, the US, and many more. Olga is a common name even in Scandinavian countries, such as Sweden and Norway, despite Helga being a more traditional choice. Olha is the uniquely Ukrainian variation.
  12. Ursula

    • Origin:

      Latin

    • Meaning:

      "little female bear"

    • Description:

      A saint's name with a noteworthy literary background, including uses by Shakespeare in Two Gentlemen of Verona and Much Ado About Nothing, by Ben Johnson, Walter Scott, Longfellow, D. H. Lawrence and Neil Gaiman. In real life, her two most well known representatives are writer Ursula Le Guin and actress Ursula Andress. In literature, there is also Ursula Iguaran, a key, long-lived character in Gabriel Garcia Marquez's major work, One Hundred Years of Solitude.
  13. Dorcas

    • Origin:

      Greek

    • Meaning:

      "doe, gazelle"

    • Description:

      Classic name used by the Romans, the Puritans, and the Bard, but pretty much taboo today due to the objectionable connotations of both its front and back ends.
  14. Gretchen

    • Origin:

      German, diminutive of Margarethe

    • Meaning:

      "pearl"

    • Description:

      Like Greta, Gretchen is a German Margaret diminutive that has become an American quasi-classic, though not much used today, having dropped off the list in 2009. She was at her high point in the 1970s, making it into the top 200.
  15. Thelma

    • Origin:

      English, Literary, meaning unknown

    • Description:

      Though modern parents seeking to honor an ancestor named Thelma might opt for the airier Thea instead, Thelma is starting to make its way back onto adventurous vintage name lovers' radars. It is currently experiencing a modest revival in France, where it now ranks around the #300 mark.
  16. Hester

    • Origin:

      Medieval variation of Esther, Persian

    • Meaning:

      "star"

    • Description:

      The disgraced heroine of The Scarlet Letter's name, after long neglect, just might have a chance at revival, following in the wake of sister-name Esther. We've characterized her elsewhere as an eccentric aristocrat, much more accepted in the U.K. than she has been here.
  17. Bernice

    • Origin:

      Greek

    • Meaning:

      "she who brings victory"

    • Description:

      Rarely heard today-- it fell off the list around 1980--Bernice is a biblical name of Greek origin. In the Bible, she is a sister of King Agrippa.
  18. Beryl

    • Origin:

      Greek

    • Meaning:

      "sea-green jewel"

    • Description:

      Dated British favorite that never caught on in this country, where Jade remains the green gem of choice. Interesting namesakes: British writer Beryl Bainbridge and British aviatrix Beryl Markham.
  19. Mildred

    • Origin:

      English

    • Meaning:

      "gentle strength"

    • Description:

      Is it clunky cute, strong and vintage, or dreadful and mildewy? Like Gertrude and Bertha, Mildred is one that divides the crowds, but with popular nickname Mildred and renewed interest in Winifred, Deborah, Millicent, and Gwendolen, it's not entirely out of the question that Mildred might make a return in coming years
  20. Ennis

    • Origin:

      Irish

    • Meaning:

      "from the island"

    • Description:

      An appealing Irish placename with a unisex feel, Ennis would be a fresh alternative to Dennis and Ellis. It's little-used for boys and even rarer for girls, but since Kirsten Dunst and Jesse Plemons used it for their son, it could be one to watch.