Pet Names
Pet Names So Ugly They're Cute
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About this list
Ugly names for pets are so crusty, they're actually cute. Pet parents love to use ugly names for dogs, such as Buster, Minnie, and Bruce, which are vintage names that aren't yet fashionable for babies. The same goes for ugly names for cats, such as Merlin and Garfield.
What makes a pet name ugly? The best ugly pet names are big, clunky, and full of consonants, such as Brunhilda, Gomer, and Hortense. They'd suit your funny-looking feline or you could subvert expectations and use one on your perfect purebred poodle.
These funny, old-school names are practically extinct for babies (but to be honest, we'd be thrilled to meet a baby named Gertrude or Seymour), which makes them all the better for your pet.
Here, our favorite pet names that are so ugly, they're cute.
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The names
Hyman
Anglicized variation of Chaim
"life"
Hyman was commonly used by first-generation Jewish immigrants to Anglicize Chaim, but similarities to terms like heinie and hymen have taken it out of the realm of modern possibility. The original…
Eustace
English from Greek
"stable"
Eustace was originally popularized by St. Eustace, who was born a Norman nobleman and is said to have been converted to Christianity by seeing a crucifix between the antlers of the deer he was…
Ebenezer
Hebrew
"stone of help"
Ebenezer is the name of a biblical place --the stone set up by Samuel to mark his victory over the Philistines--rather than a person. It was adopted by the British Puritans as a first name and then…
Ardith
Hebrew
"flowering field"
Appearing in some versions of the Old Testament, Ardith sounds like an ethereal combination of Arden and Edith, with a sweet naturey meaning. Also appearing as Ardeth and Ardath, it was first…
Hedwig
German
"war"
An ancient German saint's name – and most famously the name of Harry Potter's snowy owl – but the combination of "head" plus "wig" feels a little too literal in English.
Gaylord
French
"brisk, high-spirited"
Best left on the old southern plantation, sipping his mint julep.
Laverne
French
"springlike"
Although it has a sweet meaning, this name feels dated nowadays, like a fifties poodle skirt. Lavender may be a fresher alternative.
Lonny
Short form of Alonso or Alonzo, Spanish or Italian
"noble and ready"
The Spanish Alonso and the Italian Alonzo are both widely used in the US, so you may meet more guys named Lonny than you expect.
Waldo
German, pet form of names such as Waldemar
"to rule"
Its jaunty o-ending makes this name more appealing than most of its Germanic brothers, and we hope we're beyond the constant response to his name being "Where's Waldo?" The weighty reputation of…
Nelda
English
"one who lives by the alder tree"
Occasionally heard in Ireland, small chance of success here.
Doris
Greek
"gift of the ocean"
Doris had long been on our so-far-out-it-will-always-be-out-for-babies list, and seemed to be written there in indelible ink. But there are signs of a sea change, that Doris could profit from the…
Seymour
English
"marshy land near the sea"
Out playing shuffleboard at his condo and not expected back for several generations -- unless it morphs into a girls' name, a la Sydney.
Guido
Italian
"guide, leader"
Guido was very popular in Renaissance Italy, with many namesakes including painter Fra Angelico (born Guido di Pietro) and mathematician Guido Fubini. Guy Fawkes, of gunpowder plot fame, sometimes…
Hester
Medieval variation of Esther, Persian
"star"
The disgraced heroine of The Scarlet Letter 's name, after long neglect, just might have a chance at revival, following in the wake of sister-name Esther. We've characterized her elsewhere as an…
Boris
Slavic
"to fight"
Boris is one of the old Russian names being revived by chic Europeans; it hasn't quite made a comeback yet in the U.S., but it does have potential. For a long time the name has been associated with…
Eunice
Greek
"good victory"
Eunice is a New Testament name of the mother of Timothy, long associated with one of the Kennedy sisters, the founder of the Special Olympics. As high as Number 106 in the early 1900s, it lasted on…
Ethel
English
"noble maiden"
Ethel is a name we once declared as 'So Far Out They'll Probably Always Be Out,' but with the return of other names on that list and with its new starbaby cred via Lily Allen, its soft sound and…
Letha
Greek
"forgetfulness"
Letha is taken from Lethe, the mythological River of Oblivion. Letha now sounds as if it's missing a first syllable.
Bertrand
French from German
"magnificent crow"
This name of famed philosopher, mathematician and Nobel laureate Bertrand Russell becomes slightly more plausible with the French pronunciation, bare-TRAHN. Another noted bearer is French director…
Glenda
Feminine form of Glenn, English, Scottish
"valley"
Part nature name, part mid-century favorite, Glenda came into use in the 20th century as a feminine form of Scottish Glenn, likely inspired by Linda and Wanda too. While Glenn would give it the…
