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I-Can't-Believe-You'd-Name-Your-Child-That!

Motochika
By Motochika
Updated Thu Feb 16 2023
Some of the names I find on this site... I just can't believe you'd name your child that or deserves a good chuckle.
  1. Danger

    • Origin:

      English word name

    • Meaning:

      "exposure to injury, pain, harm, or loss"

    • Description:

      Prime example of the aggressive word names that are an off-the-grid branch of the new macho names. Makes Cannon, Maverick, and Ranger feel almost soft and sensitive by comparison.
  2. Nimrod

    • Origin:

      Hebrew

    • Meaning:

      "we shall rise up, we shall rebel"

    • Description:

      As a Biblical name, Nimrod appears in the Old Testament as a great-grandson of Noah, a founder of Babylon, and a famous hunter. In popular culture, its image was altered after the dopey Looney Tunes villain, Elmer Fudd, was called "nimrod" by Daffy Duck in a 40s cartoon. It since became associated less with rebellion and hunting, and more with being a fool.
  3. Oral

    • Origin:

      Variation of Aurelius or Oriol, or English word name

    • Meaning:

      "golden; spoken"

    • Description:

      Possibly inspired by golden names, Oriol and Aurelius, or by the word oral, meaning "spoken", Oral is not one that would work in a modern English-speaking context. Too medical and too sexual, it did however see some popularity back in the early 20th century, likely owing to Evangelist Oral Roberts.
  4. Whistler

    • Origin:

      English occupational name

    • Meaning:

      "one who whistles"

    • Description:

      A new entry is the fashionable new occupational name category -- and a jolly job it must be -- with the added attraction of relating to the great early 20th century American artist James Abbott McNeill Whistler, of "Whistler's Mother" fame.
  5. Wash

    • Description:

      Wash is a masculine name that originated as a diminutive of Washington, which itself began as an English surname meaning 'estate of a person named Wassa.' The name gained prominence in America due to the first U.S. president, George Washington. As a standalone name, Wash has a concise, strong quality that appeals to parents seeking brief, distinctive names. While uncommon as a given name, it has occasionally appeared in Southern U.S. naming traditions and literature, notably in the science fiction character Hoban 'Wash' Washburne from 'Firefly.' The name carries connotations of simplicity, straightforwardness, and American historical connections, while its brevity gives it a modern feel despite its traditional roots.

  6. German

    • Origin:

      Spanish and Russian variation of Herman, German

    • Meaning:

      "warrior"

    • Description:

      German might seem like an unlikely occupant of the Top 1000 list, unless you realize that it's a Spanish name, with the accent on the second syllable. It's been on the U.S. list since 1973.
  7. Camera

    • Origin:

      English word name

    • Meaning:

      "an optical instrument used to capture and store images or videos"

    • Description:

      The late tennis great Arthur Ashe (whose wife was a photographer) pioneered word names when he used this for his daughter. It would make an interesting first or middle name possibility for parents involved with photography.
  8. Doctor

    • Origin:

      Word name

    • Description:

      Doctor is an honorific used as a name, somewhat like names such as Bishop, King, and Princess. Banned in New Zealand, Doctor can lead to the kind of confusion you may feel would be only positive for your child -- a bona fide Doctor before he even gets to kindergarten. At its zenith in 1884, Doctor was used for 12 boys, but last year it didn't even clear the five-baby minimum to make it onto the Social Security extended list.
  9. Arkadij

    • Description:

      Arkadij is a masculine name with Slavic origins, predominantly used in Russia and Eastern European countries. It is derived from the Greek name Arkadios, which relates to Arcadia, a region in Greece symbolizing pastoral simplicity and harmony with nature. The name carries connotations of peace, rustic happiness, and an idyllic existence. While not extremely common internationally, Arkadij remains a traditional choice in Slavic cultures, particularly in Russia, Belarus, and Ukraine. The name has several spelling variations including Arkady and Arkadi, with the 'j' ending being characteristic of certain Slavic naming conventions.