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Embarrassing Names

April Ludgate
By April Ludgate
Updated Sat May 20 2023
Please only use on of these if your child is 6+ and is a horrible person.
  1. Add

    • Origin:

      Diminutive of Adam or Adolph

    • Description:

      Abstract painter Ad Reinhardt, né Adolph, gave his short name a lot of artistic cred, but it remained securely a nickname. The extra "d" in this version helps it stand on its own, for better or worse.
  2. Adolf

    • Origin:

      German

    • Meaning:

      "noble wolf"

    • Description:

      Adolf may have been a Swedish royal name but the terrible dictatorship of Adolf Hitler has ruled out this name Adolf for any sensible parent. In the US last year, there were more than 100 boys' given the Spanish variation Adolfo and a handful given the old school Adolphus, but none named Adolf or Adolph....thank goodness.
  3. Banana

    • Origin:

      Nature name

    • Description:

      Banana is one fruity name we wouldn't recommend. Pick Plum instead. There is a Japanese novelist whose pen name is Banana Yoshimoto--birth name Mahoko.
  4. Barber

    • Origin:

      French occupational name

    • Meaning:

      "beard"

    • Description:

      This name's all-male occupational roots help it break the Barbara bonds, but still not the most inspiring surname choice.
  5. Boss

    • Origin:

      English word name

    • Description:

      If you like the idea of King and Prince but find them too sophisticated, this might be the name for you.
  6. Bourbon

    • Origin:

      Word name

    • Description:

      Not even for Brandy's twin brother.
  7. Butch

    • Origin:

      Nickname name

    • Description:

      Old-school nickname ala Spike and Babe that's favored by some hipster parents.
  8. Calm

    • Origin:

      Word name

    • Description:

      A modern virtue name, particularly desirable in this pressure-cooker world.
  9. Cheerful

    • Origin:

      English word name

    • Description:

      With word names and modern virtue names such as Sunny, Lucky, and even Blessed gaining in popularity, an upbeat adjective name such as Cheerful seems like a reasonable possibility.
  10. Deal

    • Description:

      Deal as a feminine given name is exceptionally rare. It originates primarily as an English surname derived from the Old English 'del' or 'dale,' referring to a valley or hollow. As a first name, Deal has occasionally appeared in historical records but never gained significant popularity. The name's brevity gives it a modern, minimalist quality despite its ancient origins. Deal shares qualities with other short, direct names that have crossed from surnames to first names. The simplicity of Deal makes it distinctive as a feminine name, appealing potentially to parents looking for something unconventional, straightforward, and gender-neutral with historical roots.

  11. Dick

    • Origin:

      Diminutive of Richard

    • Meaning:

      "dominant ruler"

    • Description:

      Dick was a once-common short form of Richard; replaced by Rick or Richie, and finally by the full name itself. Rude meaning -- make that two rude meanings -- pretty much knocks this one out of consideration.
  12. Dix

    • Origin:

      Latin

    • Meaning:

      "tenth"

    • Description:

      Once a birth order name, now might work as a cool x-ending nickname. But be warned that it sounds very close to an unfortunate slang term.
  13. Fanny

    • Origin:

      Diminutive of Frances

    • Meaning:

      "free man"

    • Description:

      As this word is less often used to mean derriere, it becomes more possible to view Fanny as the kind of appealingly quaint nickname name, like Josie and Nellie, that many parents are favoring now.
  14. Favorite

    • Origin:

      Word name

    • Description:

      Maybe if you're planning to have only one child -- and iffy even then.
  15. Gay

    • Origin:

      French

    • Meaning:

      "joyful"

    • Description:

      The meaning of this word flipped from "cheerful" to "homosexual" during the twentieth century, and it's now almost certainly too loaded to sit comfortably as a baby name. Which is a shame as sound-wise it's very appealing, just a short step away from Faye, May, and Rae.
  16. Gaylord

    • Origin:

      French

    • Meaning:

      "brisk, high-spirited"

    • Description:

      Best left on the old southern plantation, sipping his mint julep.
  17. Gaylyn

    • Description:

      Gaylyn is a feminine name that emerged in the mid-20th century in the United States as a variation of Galen or a combination of Gay and the popular suffix -lyn. The name has English roots and suggests happiness and cheerfulness through its connection to 'gay' in its original meaning of 'joyful' or 'bright.' Popular primarily in the 1950s and 1960s, Gaylyn has since become uncommon. It represents a naming era when creative combinations and variations were fashionable. The name has a melodic, feminine quality while maintaining a distinctive sound that sets it apart from more common names. Gaylyn often evokes a sense of vintage Americana and mid-century optimism.
  18. Goddess

    • Origin:

      Word name

    • Description:

      Talk about pressure! Too much name for any little girl to bear.
  19. Hooker

    • Origin:

      English occupational name

    • Meaning:

      "shepherd's hook"

    • Description:

      fuhgeddaboutit.
  20. Infant

    • Description:

      Infant is an extremely unusual masculine name derived from the Latin 'infans,' meaning 'unable to speak' or 'young child.' Historically, the term has been used as a title for younger sons of noble families in some European cultures, particularly in Spain and Portugal where 'Infante' designated princes who were not heirs to the throne. As a given name, Infant is exceedingly rare and would likely be considered unconventional in most naming traditions. The name might reflect family traditions, cultural heritage, or simply parental preference for its literal meaning. Given its rarity and its common use as a noun in everyday language, those named Infant would likely face questions about their name throughout life.