Embarrassing Names

Abstract painter Ad Reinhardt, né Adolph, gave his short name a lot of artistic cred, but it remained securely a nickname. The extra "d" in this version helps it stand on its own, for better or worse.

Adolf may have been a Swedish royal name but the terrible dictatorship of Adolf Hitler has ruled out this name Adolf for any sensible parent. In the US last year, there were more than 100 boys' given the Spanish variation Adolfo and a handful given the old school Adolphus, but none named Adolf or Adolph....thank goodness.

Banana is one fruity name we wouldn't recommend. Pick Plum instead. There is a Japanese novelist whose pen name is Banana Yoshimoto--birth name Mahoko.

This name's all-male occupational roots help it break the Barbara bonds, but still not the most inspiring surname choice.

If you like the idea of King and Prince but find them too sophisticated, this might be the name for you.

Not even for Brandy's twin brother.

Old-school nickname ala Spike and Babe that's favored by some hipster parents.

A modern virtue name, particularly desirable in this pressure-cooker world.

Dick was a once-common short form of Richard; replaced by Rick or Richie, and finally by the full name itself. Rude meaning -- make that two rude meanings -- pretty much knocks this one out of consideration.

Once a birth order name, now might work as a cool x-ending nickname. But be warned that it sounds very close to an unfortunate slang term.

As this word is less often used to mean derriere, it becomes more possible to view Fanny as the kind of appealingly quaint nickname name, like Josie and Nellie, that many parents are favoring now.

Maybe if you're planning to have only one child -- and iffy even then.

The meaning of this word flipped from "cheerful" to "homosexual" during the twentieth century, and it's now almost certainly too loaded to sit comfortably as a baby name. Which is a shame as sound-wise it's very appealing, just a short step away from Faye, May, and Rae.

Best left on the old southern plantation, sipping his mint julep.

Talk about pressure! Too much name for any little girl to bear.

fuhgeddaboutit.