Funny Names: What’s the Wackiest You’ve Ever Heard?
Nothing makes my family giggle more than a funny name. We collect and pass them around like prized truffles. My sister and I have practically memorized John Train’s Most Remarkable Names, and right up until my uncle died two years ago, he and my mom would mail each other the choicest newspaper clippings. My dad is content to just make them up, baiting unsuspecting wait staff by tryingto order non-existent cocktails named after his creations. “I’d like an Irving Gafoofnick, please. You know, it’s like a Harvey Wallbanger, only different.”
We retain a healthy appreciation of the difference between first and last name humor, understanding that no matter how silly a last name may sound, it’s asking a lot to turn one’s back on one’s heritage and change it. But even though those names engender a pained “There but for the grace of Ellis Island go I” sympathy, the comic element can prove hard to resist. Consider a recent wedding announcement, in which the groom’s last name was Alternative. Our compassion didn’t stop us from quipping, “The bride, whose first choice was unavailable…”
But we are less inclined to be charitable when there is clearly an element of free will. It’s hard not to smack one’s head in wonder at misguided hyphenates (Scubbley-Butts), ethnic mash-ups (Hadassah O’Donohue), inadvertent descriptors (Rosie Rottencrotch), and encoded sentences (Dorothy Ada Mellon – and boy, was she hungry).
More often than not, the first name alone is enough to inspire bubbles through the nose hilarity, along with a flabbergasted “What were they thinking?!” Take the nine year-old New Zealand girl whose parents named her Talula Does the Hula From Hawaii. The poor child was so traumatized that when she successfully sued to change her name, she opted simply for a letter: K. (As to her particular choice, I’m guessing her early years were pretty Kafka-esque.)
Still, one person’s pain can provide another’s pleasure. In high school, my friend Jill hit pay dirt working in the records department of our local hospital. Every day, she’d gleefully relay another newborn gem. There were the twins, Icare and Ucare, Princess and her daughter Precious, and the one that to this day renders us helpless with mirth: the young mother, pre-Eve Ensler, who thought Vagina was the most beautiful name in the world. The nurses were only partially successful in talking her out of it. (Nagina, if you’re reading this, just know that it could have been much worse.)
But my all-time favorite story hails from my friend Joanna, whose sister’s first job was teaching kindergarten in Berkeley. The new recruits were warned that they’d be meeting children with some unusual names, like Sunbeam and Moonblossom, and were urged to take these fantastic monikers in stride. The first day, the kids arrived wearing paper nametags on yarn around their necks, and one boy’s tag read…Little Fruit Stand. Jo’s sister sucked it up and thought, “Okay, this is exactly what they were talking about. I can do this.” So all day, she called on him: “Little Fruit Stand, it’s time for recess! And what did you do this summer, Little Fruit Stand?”
Apparently, when the boy went home that night, and his mother asked him about his first day of school, he replied, somewhat perplexed, “It was okay, I guess, but everyone kept calling me ‘Little Fruit Stand.’” It turned out that on one side of the paper was the kid’s name…but on the other side was where the bus picked him up. His name was David! The thing that makes me laugh hardest is the image of this confused little boy, also shrugging and going along with it: “Sigh. She keeps looking over here, so she must mean me. Boy, kindergarten is weird.”
In addition to making a great story – and demonstrating just how much creative slack we’re willing to cut people – Little Fruit Stand made a perfect in utero nickname for my son Julian. Ironically, he has grown up to devour more fresh fruit than any one person’s bank account or stomach can handle. Proof that names are destiny? Who can say? But they sure can be funny.
Joanne Sydney Lessner is the author of Pandora’s Bottle, a novel inspired by the true story of the world’s most expensive bottle of wine (Flint Press, 2010). Her main characters are named Tripp, Sy and Valentina. Can you guess the plot?
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on December 7th, 2010 at 1:46 am
A boy named Popcorn in my gyms daycare.
on December 7th, 2010 at 2:52 am
A boy named Papillon Eagleye Rainbow. That childs name still makes me laugh…
on December 7th, 2010 at 2:54 am
I once met a boy named Minnow on vacation. He was elementary school aged, so I couldn’t be sure if it was his nickname, given name, or completely made up at the time.
on December 7th, 2010 at 8:15 am
Working in a call centre, I accumulated some doozies
Xhadow (pronounced Shadow)
Adam Bomb (A. Bomb)
Jade Diana Said
on December 7th, 2010 at 8:33 am
My sister works in an after school program that gets some gems. My favorites, a sister and brother named Six and Seven. Uggh.
on December 7th, 2010 at 8:54 am
I know a woman named Ladybug. its pretty weird but obviously could be a lot worse.
on December 7th, 2010 at 9:54 am
I had a student a couple of years ago named Delight, and I have one this year named Queenie. Maybe it’s just because she is such a doll of a kid, but I actually think the name Queenie is adorable!
on December 7th, 2010 at 10:13 am
Khemistri (pronounced “chemistry”)
Baby Boy (first and middle)
Daquiri (sister named Brandy, brother named JD)
Berich (unfortunately pronounced “be rich”, not “bear rick”)
on December 7th, 2010 at 10:30 am
Ha ha the little fruit stand hand me laughing so hard I woke up my husband! I went to school with a girl named Misty-Blue and she was convinced that her mom wanted her to be a stripper when she grew up. She always went by Melissa!
on December 7th, 2010 at 10:45 am
I knew a boy named Divine with a little brother named Delight.
David Cookson Said
on December 7th, 2010 at 11:32 am
Joanne, your article is brilliant!
Some years of teaching has yielded its own crop of odd names to me :
1. The runtiest, weediest 12-year-old you ever saw was blessed with the middle name ‘Leviathan’;
2. One young lady was Jodie Olivia Doe – yep, that’s right, Jodie O Doe;
3. One girl, completely unremarkable apart from being called Hayley Bailey;
I have spent some time in my life in churchyards and burial grounds (don’t ask …), and graveyards are a superb source for the oddly-named. In St Annes churchyard, not far from me, there is a family of Herods (I’m sure one of them may have the first name ‘King’). In other local cemeteries there’s a Dora Diklic (…blush!), a Doris May Hunt ( … and someday we hope she will), a Pearl Creme (… sounds like a night-repair lotion), and a Rose Rose.
on December 7th, 2010 at 11:33 am
I have heard some doozies but I am not sure they are true. I knew a nurse who worked in the NICU and came across a woman who swore that the doctor’s named her baby. When asked what they named her, she replied, “They named my baby Female!” (pronounced Fa-Mall-E).
on December 7th, 2010 at 11:38 am
In my local paper, there was an announcement for a baby girl named Shiraz Chardonnae, and another for a boy named Luca Brahzee. Unbelievable.
on December 7th, 2010 at 12:02 pm
Maybe the Luca Brahzee parents were big Godfather fans!
I’ve actually heard the “fruit stand” story before from relatives who were teachers. Maybe it’s a common occurrence?
I’ve also heard about the Lemonjello/Orangejello situation from my teacher relatives. I think this started as an urban legend and then, sadly, was picked up for actual use. ::eye roll::
My mom worked with kids in bad situations and once came upon a child whose name was Anaujiram, or marijuana spelled backwards. Sign #1 of a troubled household…
In my local birth announcements recently I have come across Aireus (boy),
Dakovanie (girl), Camijah (girl), Sa’niyah (girl), and my personal favorite, K’Viontay (boy).
on December 7th, 2010 at 12:10 pm
Great article Joanne! I know of a boy whose given name is Cerulean (like the color), but perhaps in a moment of doubly misguided misgivings, his parents supported him going by his chosen nickname, Sassafras!
Carol D Said
on December 7th, 2010 at 12:35 pm
I was on jury duty once with a nice young man named Taco Proper. And a friend went to school with a woman named Yenka Titzoff. Yikes.
on December 7th, 2010 at 12:50 pm
Oh my, this entire post is chock full of urban legends that have a very racist undertone. Please, stop the madness. Check out snopes.com if you don’t believe me.
on December 7th, 2010 at 12:53 pm
I knew a couple that named their baby boy Zadok. They said it was an obscure Hebrew Bible name, but I just can’t picture anyone going by it. To me it sounds like it would suit a villain from a sci-fi film.
on December 7th, 2010 at 1:01 pm
brothers named cash, money and debit!
Karen Larson Said
on December 7th, 2010 at 1:17 pm
I know a two little girls whose parents didn’t think about how the kids would have to spell out their names, because who would guess correctly? They are Brayleighna and Analyse (pronounced anna-lease).
on December 7th, 2010 at 1:19 pm
There are two kids in my daughter’s preschool with somewhat outlandish names – Truly (girl) and Milky (boy).
on December 7th, 2010 at 2:11 pm
There’s a boy in my little brother’s class named Jack Dupp. Not sure what’s wrong with his parents.
Also I’ve known a boy named John Dubbelde (pron like double dee) who our friends and I have lovingly nicknamed Deedee. 🙂
on December 7th, 2010 at 2:12 pm
My dad went to school with someone named Richard (Dick) Glasscock.
A friends kid’s anitials spell DAMN. The parents say they didn’t notice before hand.
on December 7th, 2010 at 2:40 pm
I know someone named Richard Wiener. Which is double bad since you get Dick Wiener, but also when you remove the Ri, you have Hard Wiener.
on December 7th, 2010 at 3:11 pm
Babe Ruth and his brother Ty Cobb. Ty’s not so bad. But Babe? On a boy?
on December 7th, 2010 at 3:31 pm
I work in communications, and my favorite name I’ve ever seen was Scuba Hickey. I’ve also seen Heavenly Vagge and Cookie Flan.
on December 7th, 2010 at 4:09 pm
I grew up in a very hippy influenced community and have heard some good ones. One family, who’s last name was Rainbow, had five kids… Rainbow (yes, Rainbow Rainbow) Paz, Hope, Dove, and Love. Another family had Mystic, Summit, and Fog. I have a friend who named her daughter Vashti. And, I might fit into this catagory…I am naming my soon to be born son Ranger Glenn Carroll. I am a little worried someone will be posting my sons name on a blog like this someday!
on December 7th, 2010 at 4:11 pm
Had a teacher in middle school who’s husbands name was Richard Head. But, you guessed it…He went by Dick Head. My sister teaches and she had a student who’s last name was Baconrhinde pronounced bacon rind.
on December 7th, 2010 at 4:24 pm
Oh yea, I had a table one year at a Waldorf School craft fair and the table next to me was run by a lady named Swallow…and her daughter (probably about 5 or so) Tarot.
on December 7th, 2010 at 5:20 pm
I went to school with a girl named Heaven (first) Lee (middle)
on December 7th, 2010 at 5:50 pm
As a teacher, I’ve also had some doozies, but my favorite is Lasagna (probably on the hospital menu that day). Fun topic, Joanne
Thalia M Said
on December 7th, 2010 at 6:22 pm
Popping in to say that “guest” is right that many of these names, in both the article itself and the comments, are well-known, often racist, urban legends. The Female “fa-molly” one has been around forever. Every time a subject like this is raised, the “friend of a friend” urban legends rear their ugly heads again. It has been fun to read the (probably) real wacky names that have been posted, though!
on December 7th, 2010 at 7:15 pm
The problem with name urban legends is that eventually someone thinks, “Oh, I really do like Female, Vagina, or Dick Head” as a name. So they may have started as urban myths, but eventually become true. Parents can be twisted that way.
on December 7th, 2010 at 7:24 pm
it’s hard to comment on names knowing that so many cultures make up the people of my city -NYC- one name might seem odd in one culture and may be perfectly normal in another. For example Marcel is a French name for boys but in English it’s a name for girls.
Anywho, I went to college with a boy named Saad Butt, he was Arab and his name was probably perfectly normal where he came from but after the first roll call my professor just nodded at him and tried not to say his name any more.
on December 7th, 2010 at 7:32 pm
I’m in full agreement with Thalia M and guest. Should we start taking bets on how long we have to wait before someone chimes in with “My aunt/mother/sister/friend is a nurse/social worker/teacher, and she knows a girl named La-a!”? Or maybe someone else who has met the infamous Oranjello and Lemonjello twins will pipe up.
on December 7th, 2010 at 8:25 pm
I once met a young man named Critter. I went around for about five months figuring it was a nickname for Christopher…I was wrong. Its Critter, just Critter.
Thalia M Said
on December 7th, 2010 at 8:40 pm
“The problem with name urban legends is that eventually someone thinks, “Oh, I really do like Female, Vagina, or Dick Head” as a name. So they may have started as urban myths, but eventually become true. Parents can be twisted that way.”
Possibly. But I feel sure that these instances are extremely few and far between.
on December 7th, 2010 at 8:42 pm
I work at a school. The full names some people give their kids are hideous, or occasionally outright insulting. Alas, I can’t put them in because I’m sure the darn kids will google themselves.
Let’s just say that I have seen:
* someone with the last name of Butt, with a first name that turned it all into a bad pun
* the world’s most cowboy name for a girl ever
* one name that had multiple middle names, one female and one male, and I really wish I knew the story behind that one. I had no clue on the child’s gender from the first name, alas.
on December 7th, 2010 at 8:52 pm
Here’s a few real people:
Major Dixon Wollery (ancestor)
B. Hinde (pronounced Hynd)
on December 7th, 2010 at 9:03 pm
My mother went to school with a Candy (full name Candice) Cane. I can’t really think of anyone that I’ve heard of that has a really funny name though.
on December 7th, 2010 at 10:48 pm
My grandfather was one of 9 kids. One of my great aunts was named Rosa. Doesn’t sound bad until you look in the family bible and see that her middle name was Velt.
Also, I went to school with a girl named Snowreena White.
on December 8th, 2010 at 12:36 am
In class last year, I was watching a clip about a baby named Stormy when my friend turns to me and says, “My friend back home had a little brother named Stormy!” Now, that was all good and well – even though Stormy is slightly effeminate – until she added, “…his last name was Knight.” Ah! Stormy Knight? As in, stormy night? Terrible.
And, to all of the William Williams and Robert Roberts I’ve come across in my days, may you be more creative than your parents.
Charlotte Vera Said
on December 8th, 2010 at 3:09 am
The Fruit Stand tale sounds really familiar to me too, I think I might have read it in the Reader’s Digest. I haven’t come across any really bizarre names in my time, and most of the odder ones have to do with the combination of the person’s first and last name. Since they’re real people, and in most cases friends, I’d rather not include their names here. I do, however, have a second cousin named Elation. It’s a little odd, but rather pretty with a history that gives the appellation some meaning.
on December 8th, 2010 at 3:37 am
lol lemon! I have a great uncle named george george 🙂
on December 8th, 2010 at 3:02 pm
Some of these names are definitely urban legend, but the names I have personally run into are ‘Snow White Lopez’ listed in the birth section of my local paper, a friend of my sister whose initials spelled ‘F. U. C. K.’, when I worked in the shipping department of a large warehouse we got an order from Summer Knight. I also knew a guy with the name of ‘Jasper Poindexter’ while not strange the two names sound odd together. I also worked with a woman named ‘Iona Dollar’ (married name) whose husband divorced her and married his Asian girlfriend named Tu.
on December 8th, 2010 at 10:04 pm
I agree there are some urban legends on here but these are actual names I have come across in my past employment as a social service worker.
on December 8th, 2010 at 11:15 pm
Urine (pronounced YOU-rine-ee, please)
on December 9th, 2010 at 1:32 am
In my local birth announcements there were sets of twins named Hunter & Fisher and Azalea & Zinnia.
on December 9th, 2010 at 10:58 am
I worked with an old man named Richard Head but fortunately he went by Ray and not Dick ( when I knew him ). My husband had the exact same guy drive his bus when he was younger and at that time he went by Dick so needless to say they called him Dick Head!
on December 9th, 2010 at 1:43 pm
I went to high school with a guy name Michael Hunt, who went by Mike. Mike Hunt. Say it out loud, and you’ll get it. I think my favorite high school memory is hearing the PA system boom with “Mike Hunt, please come to the main office.” It’s probably not his favorite memory.
on December 9th, 2010 at 4:30 pm
it’s not as of a ridiculous name as most on this list, but i still think it’s ridiculous. thankfully i have only heard it once: JATHAN. like a mix between jason and nathan, but comes out sounding like jason w/ a lisp. HORRIBLE!
on December 10th, 2010 at 6:34 am
ja’-than (Iathan; Nathan): For “Jonathas” in the King James Version, which is the Latin form for the Hebrew “Jonathan.” Jonathan was brother of Ananias and “son of that great Sammaias” (Tobit 5:13).
Orr, James, M.A., D.D. General Editor. “Definition for ‘JATHAN'”. “International Standard Bible Encyclopedia”. bible-history.com – ISBE; 1915.
© International Standard Bible Encyclopedia (ISBE)
on December 10th, 2010 at 6:43 am
Love this post, urban legends and all.
Some names come to mind:
The obvious, first name last name:
Jan Jansen (Jan is a boys name here)
And some more obscure:
Ben Zoek (first name, last name, in Dutch meaning “am missing”)
Sam Bal (first name, last name, in Dutch meaning sambal, a very spicy hot sauce)
And I know of a woman named Guusje Geluk, the Dutch version of Donald Duck’s lucky cousin Gladstone Gander.
Also, my middle school music teacher, Mr. Wolf married a nice lady Mrs. De Beer (Beer is Dutch for Bear by the way, not the drink).
And finally, my middle school gym teacher Mr. Haase (or hare in English) had a baby boy, named Hesse. Hesse Haase? What if the kid has a lisp?
Above, I have added the comment on Jathan, which is a real name. Although of course you may not like it (I’m not a big fan either).
on December 11th, 2010 at 1:12 am
I dont think i have met a terrible number of ‘odd, wacky’ names. I did meet a Richard Head, who for some remarkable reason decided to go by Dick, who worked with my mother when i was about 12 or so. But tht eonly other tryly weird names i remember are twins i knew when i lived in vegas when i was about, 13 maybe? Grape and Olive or something odd to that nature. I knew a Precious Queen (Queen was her last name) in the 7th or 8th grade, who swore up and down her middle name was Love, but who knows. lol 🙂
on December 11th, 2010 at 3:37 pm
The only really interesting one I can recall is a baby GIRL I met named Jeremy. I also know 2 girls named Deja, as in deja vu. Um, I think that’s all.
on December 12th, 2010 at 12:03 am
I had an art history prof who’s name was H. (Harold) Daniel Butts III. I love that his name was Harry Butts and he was the THIRD person in his family to be given this name.
on December 12th, 2010 at 3:34 pm
I’m surprised no one has mentioned this one, but there is a famous philanthropist and heiress from Houston (now long dead) named Ima Hogg. The story goes that Ima’s father wrote a letter to his mother announcing the birth of his daughter. Ima was a very popular name at the time. Grandma instantly saw the problem and headed out right away fix the problem, but by the time she arrived it was too late. I don’t know if the story is true, but I don’t think the name kept Ima down.
on December 12th, 2010 at 11:13 pm
I came across a 6-year-old boy in my work named Yo’Majesty. That’s my all-time favorite. Also, I once read about a boy named Oat. I laughed for days about that. At my college, there was an employee named Candida. It has a nice meaning, but I couldn’t help but think of a yeast infection when I thought of that name. Yuck!
on December 16th, 2010 at 10:25 am
My brother currently has a friend (Hispanic) named Jesus Zeus “Garcia” III. I changed the last name, but this kid is apparently the third! Also, my grandpa is a deacon and served at a baptism where the father insisted that his son’s name was Xerxes pn Exer-Exies!
on December 20th, 2010 at 3:40 am
There’s a very unusual girl’s name that I’ve seen a few times before pronounced “ab-sid-ee” and spelt “Abcde” as in the first five letters of the alphabet! It’s crazy but I have actually grown quite a liking to it, I find it cute and different.
on December 21st, 2010 at 1:06 am
This is NOT an urban legend! (Wish to God it was!) I was working at a Children’s hospital and I looked down at some paperwork…
“Shithead!” I practically yelled.
The nurse calmly said, “It’s pronounced Sha-tay-a.”
Another time, I had to go downstairs and bring up a kid who was coming in for surgery. Trying not to wince, I called, “Demon! Demon!”
“Da-Mon,” his mom replied.
He was a really nice guy, btw.
Then, there were the quads: Eternity, Destiny, Infinity and… Omar?
on December 21st, 2010 at 6:56 am
And to those who contend what we say is tinged with racism. It’s not at all about black & white, white & et al. It’s about being sad for the poor kids!
I mean, yuppie favorites like Laken, Colton and Gage equally make me cringe. (sorry for those who like and have used them!) And, to be totally honest, I believe if it weren’t for racial diversity, we’d all still be naming our kids Mary, John and Susan. Instead of Jayden, Pillar and Isabelle.
on December 23rd, 2010 at 12:40 am
As a teenager I had the pleasure of meeting a friend’s cousin, BabyTaz (after the tazmanian devil cartoon character). He was 8, and by then he and everyone else was definitely over the ‘cool Looney Tunes’ trend of the 90’s.
on December 23rd, 2010 at 5:59 am
Sufjan (soof-yan), Marzuki, and Djohariah Stevens. Two brothers and a sister from Michigan.
Travis and Tarvis.
Tattina Kanako Tedaka-Slavik (And her brothers, Cody and Kyle slavik)
Lauren (Not too weird, for a girl, but this was a guy… He went by Mick)
The Titswells (Wrong in so many ways. Tit-swells? Tits-Wells?)
There is also a Duggar-like family the road over, all with names like Jebediah, Jeremiah and Jehosephat.
on December 24th, 2010 at 4:54 pm
My neighbors have two sons named Bear and Bo. It wouldn’t be that bad if their last name wasn’t Hunter. LOL
on December 27th, 2010 at 3:45 am
I know a massive family and their youngest son’s middle name is Achilles. After twelve kids, I guess they ran out of names. 🙂 I almost like it though; it’s a good football player name.
on January 1st, 2011 at 3:57 am
No need for explination.
on January 23rd, 2011 at 10:33 pm
I know 3 sisters named Blessing, Treasure, and Tola-Ibukemie. Can you guess which one is the “odd one out”?
I also had a nurse practitioner named Anita Doctor (“I need a doctor”).
There was a girl in my class when I was a teacher named Kaleca (pro. Kah-lay-sha). When I mispronounced it (Ka-lecka), her mother acted super offended!
Tweets that mention Funny Names: What’s the Wackiest You’ve Ever Heard? – Baby Name Blog – Nameberry — Topsy.com Said
on January 24th, 2011 at 3:03 pm
[…] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Joanne Lessner, Pam & Linda. Pam & Linda said: The funniest names ever. Add your ideas (but pls no Oranjello and Lemonjello) http://ow.ly/3J016 […]
on January 27th, 2011 at 8:05 pm
Here are some unusual first names I’ve come across:
Krash- One of my high school teacher’s sons, was named because his parents got in a car crash on the day he was born
Armani- A girl who went to elementary school with my sister
Purple- My sister’s friend’s mother, although this is probably just her English name and not her birth name because she was born in Nigeria
Memory- The daughter of a family friend
Xanthia- A girl who rode on my bus in middle school
Dublin- A student who used to go to school with me
Journey- A girl in the kindergarten class I volunteered at recently.
As for surnames, there is a kid at my school with the last name Schmiedelberg, and my sister used to be in the same dance class with a girl whose last name is Schwirblat. The latter hated her extra-terrestrial-sounding name so much that she went by a different surname. I also went to elementary school with a boy whose last name was Hat, and I have a teacher whose last name is so hard to pronounce that we just call him by his first name.
I haven’t heard any weird first-middle or first-last name combos, but there used to be a woman who worked at my school whose MARRIED name was Doctor and had a PHd–that’s right, Dr. Doctor.
And although not technically unusual, I have a friend whose boyfriend’s name is Chris Brown (yes, like Rihanna’s ex, no joke). I also went to camp with a kid named Cooper–who turned out to be a girl. The sad part was that Cooper was also androgynous, so everyone thought she was a boy. And if I clearly remember, I went to elementary school with a boy named Michael Jackson…
on February 5th, 2011 at 11:03 am
I’m a teacher and have heard some great ones:
on February 14th, 2011 at 11:25 pm
Our neighbors kid’s names are right up there (at least for us):
on February 20th, 2011 at 3:55 pm
journey kaagman is a famous idols judge in the NL.
Im from africa and its very normal to name you kid after the day he was born..
like… beautifull sunday, presciouse friday, storming monday, not in inglish but okay…
I had a chineese friend his name was sukmi pho.. haha had a blast! Also i met a guy his parents named him mericale.. but he was not realy smart ore pretty…
had a arabic friend her name was merig… dutch you put the s’in front… smerig.. its mean dirty! and she had the stripper look going with it!
My son is called Storm… i thought it was a cool name.. i found out he is just like a storm! Wild, HDHD! So I called my daughter Lovely… and thats perfect!
Sometimes a name is also in person…
on February 26th, 2011 at 9:39 pm
Cal Linder. Seriously. If you don’t get it, try saying it out loud.
My mum went to school with a kid named Starlet. Which just sounds stupid to me.
on March 4th, 2011 at 11:51 pm
These are genuine names from a hospital neonatal unit!!
ABCDE…pronounced Abceedee – girl
Trigga – boy
Tiger – boy
Star Gaze – girl
Amazing Heavenly LOL – girl LOL as in ‘lots of love’
Star Sea – girl
on March 5th, 2011 at 6:01 am
I knew a boy in my town who’s name was Justin Tyme. No joke. He was born at like 11:58 on December 31st, so his parents thought it was very fitting.
on March 14th, 2011 at 4:24 am
My mom went to school with a Penny Nichols (Penny Nickels) and my dad went to school with a girl whose last name is Pepper which is fine until she became a doctor (Dr. Pepper).
on March 15th, 2011 at 9:07 pm
Two young brothers – Cincinnatus and Percivul – I might be misspelling them, but who cares.
on March 19th, 2011 at 4:23 pm
Here are some more:
Winner and Loser – brothers in a family of 7
Griffin and his sister Kestrel
Amcher – named for a sign in the Albany Medical Center Hospital Emergency Room
on March 19th, 2011 at 6:28 pm
My friend’s cousin went to a school in Chicago and her locker neighbor was named La-sha. Prounounced, “LaDASHa”.
In elementary school, there were two boys several grades below me, one of which was named Kourtney and the other Whitney. If that wasn’t bad enough, Kourtney’s surname was Kox and Whitney’s was Houston. So, yes, I went to school with Kourtney Kox and Whitney Houston.
My dad went to school with a Ben Dover and an Emerson Biggins. My mom claims to have worked with a Phil McCraken.
Our old neighbors had 2 children named Scott and Britt. This wouldn’t be so bad, but it turns out that Scott is a girl and Britt is a boy.
Marten Thomapon Said
on March 28th, 2011 at 5:40 pm
I met a old lady named
and the there was this lady named Rose Thorn…
she was very rude.
Dan Tahmpon Said
on March 28th, 2011 at 5:44 pm
on April 11th, 2011 at 4:28 pm
I knew some brothers from school named Happy Jack, Jesse James, and Terry. I always wondered how Terry ended up with his name, lol.
I also knew a girl in college named Shitonya. Her mom probably just didn’t think that one through and liked the name the way it was pronounced [shi-TOHN-ya], but of course seeing it spelled out is amusing.
on April 15th, 2011 at 3:01 pm
there was a little boy named Apple-Jack at the daycare where i worked as a teenager.
on April 19th, 2011 at 6:56 pm
I went to school with a boy named Wayne Kerr.
I know of a little girl named Aniwae (Anyway)
on April 21st, 2011 at 3:53 pm
Mary-la & Gwen~ Echo is a real name from Greek mythology. Still not necessarily something you should name your kid– she was cursed by Hera and could only repeat what others said. When she fell in love with Narcissus, she couldn’t tell him that she loved him. This was probably for the better, as the self- absorbed man wasted away after staring at his reflection for days. When Narcissus died, Echo soon followed suit. Just thought you’d like to know.
on April 27th, 2011 at 1:06 pm
twins: Parsley and Joplin Tomato
Apropos- so named because she was born out of wedlock! I don’t agree with giving your child a name based on a joke but I can’t help thinking what a cool and strong mother she must have had.
Juanita—not a name people; it’s a nickname you have saddled your child with a diminutive for her entire life.
Mordor? huh? Even if you are total Lord of the Rings maybe choose a positive aspect of the trilogy to commemorate.
A slew of pseudo-arabic names that aren’t arab at all names like Shanita, Jamiqua, Shaquana– all depressing to me. Arab names an be so beautiful, if you are after that style why not just choose a real one with history and meaning behind it? For religious (Muslim) reasons most Arab names have positive connotations like beauty, strength, truth, defender of the faith etc.
Also as a child I remember my mother had friend with the last name Sexhour or Sexhaur? maybe… I never saw it written.
on May 15th, 2011 at 5:23 am
I once met a great guy names Percivul, I don’t think it’s a bad name but some people might find it odd.
on May 18th, 2011 at 4:14 pm
Our local sheriff’s name is Mike Hunt.
My father went to school with twins named Chevelle and Chevette.
When I was younger I went to church with two girls Cheniqua and Ferris.
All are true. Sheriff’s name can be verified by looking at Aiken County, SC
on May 25th, 2011 at 11:37 pm
A fellow-ballet-mom has worked at NICU for 30 years and shares these gems
Twins : Benson & Hedges
Twins : Fish & Chips
on May 30th, 2011 at 7:02 pm
Caitlynn (for a boy)
on June 9th, 2011 at 8:42 am
My friend is a social worker who comes across all kinds of interesting names. The craziest would have to be La-a, pronounced “Ladasha”. Get it? Yikes!
on June 21st, 2011 at 9:34 pm
my name is Jensen Ilana Sierra 🙂
on July 4th, 2011 at 5:08 am
Names I’ve come across during school:
Hitler *not even kidding*
Lok *pronounced like Lock*
Moroni *people called him Moron*
I once knew twin brothers named Rawwr and Grr no joke
on July 21st, 2011 at 7:26 pm
Rodent. An unfortunate choice by parents thinking it was a posh English translation for Rodentur.
Lucky’s Aunt :( Said
on July 26th, 2011 at 2:55 pm
My sister just named her son Lucky!!!! WTF????
No wonder she kept it to herself til he was born!! AARGH!
on July 30th, 2011 at 8:37 pm
Met a brother and sister at a neighborhood party.
Boy – Golf
Girl – Ball
on August 29th, 2011 at 2:20 pm
I know a woman who is one of 8 siblings, all named after their father Dale (with slight variations).
I went to grade school with a girl who’s proper name was Dolly Doty.
I knew a girl named Sioux. Not too weird, but I always wondered if someone would look at that spelling and decide it was a good name for a boy. A boy named Sioux.
on September 4th, 2011 at 3:59 pm
Why would anyone even think of calling a kid Vagina???? They would never forgive you EVER in their lifetime, and Nagina is almost as worse.
on October 15th, 2011 at 6:09 pm
I know a kid called Ollie Day
on October 20th, 2011 at 8:45 pm
I know of someone named Candice Kittles, and if you say it fairly slow it sounds like Candy Skittles, with a bit of an accent. My friend’s initials are PE, and as we are still in school her Physical Education (PE) clothes say PE on them.
on November 2nd, 2011 at 7:33 pm
My mum said she knew someone who called her kid Female, I always thought it sounded far-fetched but now I find out she was most probably just ling haha I feel so ignorant and gullible o.O
I know someone who’s last name is Topliss
on November 3rd, 2011 at 12:56 pm
I never thought people with the same first and last name were real, till I dated Robert Robertson Jr, not even a first…his family did this to 2 kids!
on December 1st, 2011 at 6:35 pm
Once while working in a call centre I found myself talking to a Bill Williams.
Yup, his parents named him William Williams. Some sort of family tradition gone mad.
on January 13th, 2012 at 12:34 am
I work in a call center and I’ve called someone named “Cherry Delite.” Her dad always answered and I was so tempted to ask him why he would do that to his child.
on January 14th, 2012 at 5:25 am
Her sister’s name is Hershey
on January 17th, 2012 at 11:26 pm
A friend has a boy and a girl names James and Emily. Seems fine enough, until one day we were watching Thomas The Tank Engine. They never noticed both those names were trains from Sodor!
on February 4th, 2012 at 5:24 am
In my nieces daycare there is a Heavenly and a Green Forrest as well as a Thomas Tank Engine (first middle last). And a close friend is called Skye Blue and she can’t wait until she gets married (Blue is her last name). In one of my sisters classes there was a WendiiAyn (pronounced Wendy Anne) and my aunt married a Bob Builder and they have a daughter Wendy May Builder.
on February 7th, 2012 at 3:59 pm
I’ve browsed the WTE (what to expect) name boards from time to time and one name that’s stuck with me is Tallica. If you want to know how to pronounce it, I’ll give you a hint: the parents were fans of Metallica.
on February 19th, 2012 at 1:55 pm
Mahershalalahashbaz Ali. That’s a real person. No joke. Google it.
Also, I hate it when parents name their kids Chase, Hunter, or Forest. I have this joke with my sister: “I’m Chasing the Hunter into the Forest”.
on March 7th, 2012 at 11:59 am
I have a relative whose name is a family name (I won’t say it for privacy reasons) and he’s the fifth to have it. But it’s a rather odd name, a variation on a not-so-common old man’s name starting with “B”. Before he was born, everyone called him “Mr. B” as a nickname, but the nickname stuck. He’s now in elementary school and his teachers call him Mr. B. In fact, all of our family calls him this (his parents and grandparents might call him something else, but I’m not sure). It’s definitely weird, but I couldn’t fathom calling him by his proper name. He’s been “Mr. B” to us his whole life.
on June 18th, 2012 at 12:15 pm
I knew a photographer who shot photos of a little boy named Lone, guess what his last name was? Lamb. Lone Lamb. I also knew a kid that was nicknamed Cutter, but his real name was Hunter.
on August 23rd, 2012 at 1:48 pm
a sibset i know named Jubilation (nn Jubilee), Velocity, Apollo, and Mercury.
on September 17th, 2012 at 11:04 pm
There is an Orlando Pickle in my local phonebook…but honestly I rather love that.
on September 17th, 2012 at 11:12 pm
Oh, I also worked with a boy named Cash…not so bad until he told me his sister’s name: Carrie. Cash and Carrie. Like the store, Cash and Carry. Sigh!
I also bought some used boy scout dishes for camping and they were engraved with “B. Ready”. Never quite sure if that is the previous owner’s initials or a joke!
on September 17th, 2012 at 11:16 pm
One more: I had a customer before with given first name Millie, married last name Grilley. She introduces herself by stating her name then saying “Isn’t that awful?” with a big grin.
on September 17th, 2012 at 11:19 pm
Ah, and I know an Abcde as well! Baby of a high school classmate. So wth.
on December 22nd, 2012 at 10:44 pm
My father knows a couple called Richard and Rhoda Dick…I know a girl called Duracelle, pronounced like the battery
on December 22nd, 2012 at 10:45 pm
Oh, and I know an Ashley Ashley too
on December 22nd, 2012 at 10:49 pm
I also had a teacher who’s name was Harry Love Lastname. He went by Hal understandably
on January 12th, 2013 at 11:11 pm
Some interesting first name/last name combos
on January 24th, 2013 at 9:17 pm
I went to church with siibset Nicholas and Nichole Nicholson. My father thought twins Manifold and Chesterfeild.
on January 24th, 2013 at 9:31 pm
on February 10th, 2013 at 2:51 pm
When my younger daughter was born, I was told there were twins the previous week named Jazz and Jezebel “Jez”.
on March 19th, 2013 at 7:43 am
I know a kid named Imlovely, and a boy named Aaron, last name Ho. So he’s A.Ho
on April 29th, 2013 at 10:54 pm
There is a man from our town named Bucky Beaver. Full first name is Bucky, last name Beaver.
Also, a distant cousin’s last name is Roed (Pronounced Road), and they were considering naming their son Rocky. Rocky Roed. :/
Also, a boy who goes to our Church is named Cable. (Cain+Able)
on May 13th, 2013 at 3:19 pm
I am forever amazed by people who name their kids the same as their last name… Phillip Phillips (American idol), Allen Allen (A teacher where I went to school), Francesca Francasa… which isn’t exactly the same… but why would you do this to your daughter!
the worst I think I’ve ever seen:
La-a (prn Ladasha… you pronounce the -)
on February 18th, 2014 at 8:57 pm
A little girl named Chosen.
My friend’s sister has a friend who named her daughter Rainbow Sparkles after a character from My Little Pony
My grandpa knows a little boy named Brother
And theirs the ones I’ve read about online like baby Hashtag and another little girl named So’Unique Miracle
on February 19th, 2014 at 2:56 pm
A professor my mom works with is named Wesley Lee, Lee is his last name, he gies by Wes Lee
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