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Names you should probably not name your baby

HeyThereRobot
By HeyThereRobot
Updated Wed Mar 01 2023
My dad said you guys were probably kidding when you said to send you name ideas, but I really like names (like "I'm subscribed to a forum about names" level of liking) and I have little self control so...I'm sorry. Full disclosure: these probably aren't practical for real, human children and I do not actually expect you to use any of these. This is actually a pretty self serving list, if I'm being honest. Congratulations on your tiny human!!!
  1. Arley

    • Origin:

      English

    • Meaning:

      "from the rabbit meadow"

    • Description:

      Similar in sound to Harley, Marley, Arlo, and Ari, this surname-style name was a fast rising choice in the UK in 2023.
  2. Baxter

    • Origin:

      English occupational name

    • Meaning:

      "baker"

    • Description:

      An x makes any name cooler, so that Baxter has a bit more pizzazz than the original Baker. Baxter had some currency as a first name a century ago--it was on the popularity lists sporadically from 1880 till the 1920s, peaking at Number 515 in 1886-- which means it's just about due for a comeback. And we can see Bax as a worthy follow-up to Max and Jax.
  3. Benjamin

    • Origin:

      Hebrew

    • Meaning:

      "son of the right hand"

    • Description:

      Benjamin is a biblical name that has enjoyed widespread favor for decades, ranking in the US Top 50 for almost half a century and the Top 10 from 2015 until 2023.
  4. Cabot

    • Origin:

      French

    • Meaning:

      "to sail"

    • Description:

      Cabot is an attractive English surname associated with the daring early Italian-born British explorer known as John Cabot; his birth name was Giovanni Caboto.
  5. Calder

    • Origin:

      English

    • Meaning:

      "rocky water"

    • Description:

      Artistic associations with the sculptor who invented the mobile make this one of the more creative surname choices.
  6. Calloway

    • Origin:

      English from Latin

    • Meaning:

      "pebbly place"

    • Description:

      Calloway is one of those irresistibly jaunty, animated three-syllable surnames, like Sullivan and Finnegan — but this one has the added attraction of jazzy ties to the immortal "Dean of American Jive," Cab Calloway.
  7. Digby

    • Origin:

      Norse

    • Meaning:

      "town by the ditch"

    • Description:

      Digby is a place-name in Lincolnshire turned surname turned quirky first name that is starting to get some attention.
  8. Ezra

    • Origin:

      Hebrew

    • Meaning:

      "help"

    • Description:

      Ezra has a lot going for it: the strength of its heroic Biblical legacy, its quirky sound, and its fresh but familiar feel. Ezra is now at its highest point ever, but its intuitive streamlined spelling and deep roots could make it a worth successor to Elijah in the Top 10 -- or even to Liam or Noah at Number 1.
  9. Fletcher

    • Origin:

      English occupational name

    • Meaning:

      "arrow-maker"

    • Description:

      Fletcher is a common surname with a touch of quirkiness; it definitely fits into the So Far Out It's In category--and moving further in all the time along with other occupational names from Parker to Forester.
  10. Florian

    • Origin:

      Latin

    • Meaning:

      "flowering"

    • Description:

      If Flora and Florence have returned full force, Florian, with its trendy Latinate ending, could also have a chance. Popular in Germany, Austria, Switzerland, Poland, and France, St Florian was the venerated patron saint of those in danger from water and the patron saint of firefighters.
  11. Geordie

    • Origin:

      English demonym

    • Description:

      Though it looks, to the untrained American eye, like a yoonek spelling of Jordy, Geordie actually refers to people from Tyneside in Northeast England and the local dialect there. To give you a sense of what it implies to Brits, Geordie Shore is British MTV's long-running answer to Jersey Shore.
  12. Henry

    • Origin:

      German

    • Meaning:

      "estate ruler"

    • Description:

      Henry is back. The classic Henry climbed back onto the Top 10 in the US in 2021 for the first time in over a century, and now stands at Number 6.
  13. Inigo

    • Origin:

      Basque, medieval Spanish variation of Ignatius

    • Meaning:

      "fiery"

    • Description:

      Inigo, almost unknown in the U.S., is an intriguing choice, with its strong beat, creative and evocative sound, and associations with the great early British architect and stage designer Inigo Jones. The sixteenth-seventeenth century Jones shared his name with his father, a London clockmaker, who received it when Spanish names for boys were fashionable in England, especially among devout Roman Catholics.
  14. Kermit

    • Origin:

      Irish, variant of Diarmaid/Dermot

    • Meaning:

      "without injunction, without envy"

    • Description:

      Kermit was a Top 500 name until the 1960s, not coincidentally the decade in which Kermit the Frog made it a one-person (well, one-frog) name.
  15. Leander

    • Origin:

      Greek

    • Meaning:

      "lion-man"

    • Description:

      Leander was once an almost unknown name, however, with the popularity of Leo and the rise of Leandro, it now feels like a perfectly accessible alternative to Leon or Alexander. In Greek legend, Leander was the powerful figure who swam across the Hellespont every night to visit his beloved Hero, a priestess of Venus.
  16. Milo

    • Origin:

      Latin and Old German

    • Meaning:

      "soldier or merciful"

    • Description:

      Milo is most commonly considered to be Germanic name derived from the Latin word miles, meaning "soldier." However, there is evidence to suggest it also may have independently spawned from the Slavic root milu, meaning "merciful." Milo predates brother name Miles, a variation that evolved when the name immigrated to the British Isles in the Middle Ages. Mylo is an alternate spelling.
  17. Nikola

    • Origin:

      Serbian from the Greek Nikolaos

    • Meaning:

      "Victory of the people"

    • Description:

      Nikola is generally masculine in Serbia, Croatia, Bosnia, Montenegro, Bulgaria and Macedonia, while in Germany, Poland, Slovenia, Slovakia, Estonia and the Czech Republic it is usually feminine.
  18. Osgood

    • Origin:

      Teutonic

    • Meaning:

      "divine creator"

    • Description:

      This name seems to foresee a future CFO. Not a bad thing. Osgood Perkins is the name of both the father and son of actor Anthony. Oz is the enlivening nickname.
  19. Poe

    • Origin:

      English

    • Meaning:

      "peacock"

    • Description:

      An evocative unisex one-syllable name, Poe is most distinguished by its literary reference. Edgar Allan Poe was an influential American author and poet, credited with inventing the genres of detective and science fiction, which might provide inspiration for parents who are fans. And now its choice as the name of the hero played by Oscar Isaac in the new Star Wars movie is sure to catapult it from literary choice to major favorite.
  20. Sebastian

    • Origin:

      Latin from Greek

    • Meaning:

      "person from ancient city of Sebastia"

    • Description:

      Sebastian is an ancient martyr's name turned literary, and Little Mermaid hero—think Sebastian the Crab—that's more popular than ever, as a classic-yet-unconventional compatriot for fellow British favorites T Theodore and Oliver.