Names No Boy May Be Cool Enough For

You have to be pretty damn cool to name your kid Elmer, cool in that I-like-it-and-I-don't-care-what-the-world-thinks kind of way. Except you're not the one who's going to have to deal with having the name Elmer when you play Little League. You're not the one who's going to have to introduce yourself as Elmer to girls at parties. In fact, if you think it's so cool, maybe you should change your own name to Elmer rather than laying it on a poor little kid. The point: While we can appreciate the contrarian cool inherent in these clunky names, we fear that few children at this point in time are cool enough actually to live with them.

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  • Archibald

    Gender: M LoveDislike

    The short form Archie is so open and friendly --and very trendy in the British Isles--that some parents are now beginning to consider the formerly fusty Archibald as well. SNL comedians Amy... Read More 

  • Arnold

    Gender: M LoveDislike

    Strange as it may now seem, the venerable St. Arnold was a Greek by birth, a musician who became a member of the court of Charlemagne. The name is said to have been introduced into Britain by the... Read More 

  • Bernard

    Gender: M LoveDislike

    Bernard is obviously a saint's name, but how did it get to the big, benevolent dog? The eleventh century monk, patron saint of mountain climbers, who lived in the Alps, was famed for setting up... Read More 

  • Bertram

    Gender: M LoveDislike

    Old Norman name last current in the 1930s, and firmly in our 'so far out it will always be out' category--despite its appearance as a Hogwarts student in Harry Potter. Read More 

  • Burton

    Gender: M LoveDislike

    Prissy, no matter how you spell it. Read More 

  • Delbert

    Gender: M LoveDislike

    Problematic, even if not for Dilbert. Read More 

  • Durwood

    Gender: M LoveDislike

    As wooden as its second syllable.Read More 

  • Edgar

    Gender: M LoveDislike

    Edgar is an Old English name historically associated with the tenth century English king known as Edgar the Peaceful. There was also a King Edgar of Scotland.

    Edgar has been a stalwart... Read More 

  • Egbert

    Gender: M LoveDislike

    The ultimate nerd name. Read More 

  • Elmer

    Gender: M LoveDislike

    Thanks to Elmer Fudd, Elmer the Cow, and even Elmer's glue, this name has become a bit of a joke -- the quintessential so-far-out-it-will-always-be-out name. But with its trendy El-beginning and... Read More 

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