Forever Geeky Names

Once an upper-class British surname conjuring up the epic poetry of John Milton, it then descended to the antics of "Uncle Miltie" Berle, and now has left the stage completely.

Hiram is the kind of forgotten biblical name that adventurous parents who wish to move beyond David and Daniel are beginning to reconsider--even though it has bits of its old stiff-collared image clinging to it, along with a little hillbilly feel as well. The name belonged to an Old Testament king of Tyre who helped David and Solomon plan and build the temple in Jerusalem, and was a favorite in the eighteenth and nineteenth centuries, though a couple of well-known bearers dropped it--Ulysses S. Grant was orignially Hiram Ulysses Grant, but he didn't like having the initials H.U.G., and country singer Hank Williams was also born Hiram. With its definite funk factor, and its friendly nickname Hi, Hiram would make a distinctive choice.

Rarely heard, and when it is, usually attached to a witch. Historically, though, Wanda was a legendary eighth century queen of Poland, and in literature it is the central character of Ouida's eponymous novel Wanda. A musical namesake is the great Polish harpsichordist Wanda Landowska.

An aromatic, unconventional name.

Thanks to Elmer Fudd, Elmer the Cow, and even Elmer's glue, this name has become a bit of a joke -- the quintessential so-far-out-it-will-always-be-out name. But with its trendy El-beginning and popular er-ending, who knows?

Phyllis has been used by classical poets for the idealized pastoral maiden. A Greek mythological name of a woman who was turned into an almond tree, Phyllis was in the Top 100 from 1916 to 1958, reaching #24 in 1929, and has the (remote) possibility of joining other revived s-ending names like Iris. In the 'St Clare' book series by Enid Blyton Phyllis is nicknamed Fizz. Just a thought. Phyllida is a variation that sounds at once more old-fashioned and more stylish.

This Slavic form of the Norse name Helga is a classic in many Slavic countries, including Russia and Poland, where it currently ranks within the Top 100 girl names. It has historically ranked among the most popular names in countries including Ukraine, Latvia, Spain, France, Serbia, Greece, the US, and many more. Olga is a common name even in Scandinavian countries, such as Sweden and Norway, despite Helga being a more traditional choice. Olha is the uniquely Ukrainian variation.

Originally a nickname for someone who loved to sing or whistle, Merle is sleek but gentle, with a hint of great grandpa about it..

A name that sounds so old-fashioned some parents out there might conceivably find it quirky enough for a comeback, along with other one-time fuddie-duddies like Oscar and Homer.

Hard as it might be to believe, Gladys was the Harper of 1900, emerging almost out of nowhere to take the naming world by storm. It became a favorite among parents — and writers of romantic Edwardian novels, seen as alluring and unusual. One impetus was the 1870 Ouida novel Puck, whose heroine was the idealized beauty, Gladys Gerant.

Kermit was a Top 500 name until the 1960s, not coincidentally the decade in which Kermit the Frog became well known, proving that it isn't easy being green, even for a name. But we think it's time for some of those appealing Sesame Street names--Kermit, Elmo, Grover--to be taken out of that context and be considered on their own.

In the US, Wilma is appears to be eternally fossilized in Bedrock as Fred Flintstone's wife, but in Sweden it's a Top 10 hottie. It did have its moment in the US--from 1912 to 1940 it was a Top 100 name. One notable namesake: track and field star Wilma Rudolph.

Long in our category of so-far-out-it-will-always-be-out category, once seen as a gum-cracking 1940's telephone operator, we think it's time to reassess Myrtle, and look at is as a nature name, a plant with pink or white aromatic berries. Ruled by Venus, myrtle is a plant associated with love, peace, fertility and youth.

Earl is a title name - brought to England by the vikings - that's out of fashion right now, unlike King and Duke. Its peak popularity was in the 1920s, which gives it a dusty great-grandpa feel, but there are also younger Earls in pop culture, like the reformed criminal in "My Name is Earl".

Strange as it may now seem, the venerable St. Arnold was a Greek by birth, a musician who became a member of the court of Charlemagne. The name is said to have been introduced into Britain by the Normans in the form Arnaud.

This once perfectly respectable surname has suffered decades of abuse, not least by Jerry Lewis's character in the fifties. NFL running back Melvin Gordon stars for the Los Angeles Chargers.

The ancient name Horace sounds fustily fuddy-duddy, and yet, with the resurrection of Homer, and the new interest in old Roman names...who knows.

A traditional Nordic name, Helga was extremely popular throughout Scandinavia in the 19th and early 20th centuries. In Germany, it was a Top 10 pick from 1924 to 1943. And it still ranks in the Icelandic Top 50 today.

The name Barney is hot among hip Londoners and it has been above the Top 500 in the UK since 2012. You can see why - it's got a friendly happy sound and a lovely meaning and is more easily worn than Barnabas. However, Barney is a more difficult sell in America, due to Barney the Dinosaur and Barney Gumble, the loveable lout from The Simpsons. In the positive column for Barney are jazz clarinetist Barney Bigard and guitarist Barney Kessel. For those who love the name but can't get past the dinosaur, may we suggest the related names Bernard or Barnaby?

Old Norman name last current in the 1930s, and firmly in our 'so far out it will always be out' category – despite its appearance as a Hogwarts student in Harry Potter. This is the full first name of P.G. Wodehouse's inimitable Bertie Wooster.