Category: talking about names
My husband and I talked about names on our first date.
What was meaningful, I think, is that our baby name discussion signaled we took each other and our relationship seriously.
Which may be exactly why some couples don’t talk about names until they’re expecting a baby or (this is hard to imagine, but maybe it’s true?) the child is actually born. Honey, we forgot to name the baby!
So when did you and your partner first talk about baby names?
What sparked the discussion, and what did you say? Did you learn anything about each other or your relationship in the process?
Duana Taha reports that she and her new husband are compatible in every way, until they start talking about baby names.
I recently got married, and we’re very happy. Like a lot of just-married couples, we’re thinking about children in the near future, which is great.
Except we forgot one crucial thing. A baby name pre-nup.
Do most couples work out their baby names before they agree to be tied together forever? Was I unaware? Because there are some issues here we definitely should have discussed…!
In our best fantasies, here’s how we name our babies:
DAD — Perfect. Now why don’t you let me rub your feet?
In reality, discussions go more like this:
DAD — Blech. I hate those kind of frilly names; if we have a girl, I think we should name her something cool, like Harley or Parker. And if we have a boy, my mother says we have to name him after my father.
MOM — Your mother’s not naming our baby. And your taste in names sucks.
Usually, after nine months or possibly ten, the parents manage to arrive at a name they both can live with. Why does baby-naming inspire such deep feelings and strong arguments in a couple who may have an easy time getting along in so many other ways?
The question of the week: Have you ever experienced namer’s remorse?
This is a term heard more and more frequently in the baby name world, describing the feeling of parents when they think they could have made a better choice for their child.
Have you ever regretted picking the name you picked?
If so, was this an immediate reaction as soon as you saw your baby, or did it happen later, when it just didn’t feel like the right fit?
Or did it happen when the name became mega-popular—or when you came to realize that it already was?
A compromise choice you regret making?
A response to negative reactions you got when people heard the name? Spelling or pronunciation problems?
Was it just a twinge or was your remorse strong enough for you to consider actually making a legal change?
Anyone out there who did make a change?
The question of the week: how honest are you about names?
In all of our books and here on nameberry, Linda and I are dedicated to telling parents that their baby’s name is their choice and theirs alone, that they should tune out well-meaning relatives and friends and, yes, even strangers who criticize a name they love.
But what about when expectant parents ask for advice about names? What about when they ask you? Do you tell them what you really think, or do you keep your harsher opinions to yourself?
Denizens of the nameberry forums are often experts at the diplomatic response to names they’re not crazy about. “Not my style,” is one very nice way of signaling thumbs down about a name.
Some people say that, when asked, you should give your honest opinion on name possibilities before the baby is born, but stifle yourself once the name has already been chosen.
Others say that negative opinions on names, no matter when or by whom or in what tone they’re offered, are always offensive.
What do YOU think? C’mon, now, tell us the truth…be honest.