Category: picking a baby name
WHO DO YOU TALK TO WHEN YOU TALK ABOUT NAMES?
Today’s question is: where do you turn when discussing your name choices? These days, when picking the perfect name can seem to be a minefield of do’s and don’ts, many if not most parents-in-waiting turn to others for guidance and opinions. How about you?
— Is your partner your principal sounding board and if so is finding a name a primary topic of conversation?
— Do you talk about names with your friends (pregnant and not) – and how honest do you really want them to be?
— Do you find that talking with your family—especially those of the parental and grandparental generations—is trickier than talking to friends—and if so, why?
— Have you made virtual friends on message boards whose opinions you value? Have you become part of an online community that has raised issues of interest to you and that you might not have considered before? Have they helped you in arriving at a decision?
Tell us about your name community!
Conceiving your child may have made you feel, more than any other step you’ve taken together, as if you and your spouse had finally and truly become one. Choosing its name can remind you that, nope, you’re still actually two.
There are all those people with all those names that each of you knew and loved or hated before you met each other. If you and your spouse draw up individual lists of your favorite names, chances are you’ll cross off half of each other’s picks because you went to third grade with an Elizabeth whose nose was always running, or had a college roommate named Daniel who told terrible jokes.
Couples who successfully negotiate religious differences and complicated family holidays sometimes find themselves stymied by conflicting name ideas and requirements. One couple we know, for instance, compromised his Jewish and her Catholic backgrounds by attending a Unitarian church, but when naming their baby hit a deep divide when he wanted to follow religious tradition and give their child a name that started with the same letter as that of his recently deceased grandmother, and she bucked against being pinned down to names beginning with S.