Just when it seemed that the stormy seas of extreme celebrity baby names were calming down (you can see our comments on this at Celebrity Babies Blog), a new crop has come along  introducing a whole bunch of innovative choices, ranging from the ridiculous to the semi-sublime:

BARDOT (first name of David Boreanaz’s daughter) Following in the footsteps of Harlow and other  Hollywood sirens and sex kittens of the past(Dad Boreanaz admitted being inspired by a Brigitte Bardot poster), Bardot could easily fit in with the growing group of o-ending girls’ names: Juno, Lilo, Willow, etc.

BETSI (middle name of Ioan Gruffudd & Alice Evans’ daughter Ella).  Much to my surprise, I find this new take on an old name—I’m not usually a big fan of changing y’s to i’s— appealingly fresh, cute and perky.
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Twitty Milk, the reported name of the new daughter of singer Erykah Badu and rapper Jay Electronica, was thankfully just a hoax.  No one knows quite how the Twitty Milk rumor got started, except that the new mom Twittered her way through the baby’s birth.  The real crazy celebrity baby name: Mars Merkaba.

Badu, also the mother of son Seven and daughter Puma, is obviously a leader in crazy celebrity baby naming.  Here, with Mars’ birth, our new Top 10 Craziest Celebrity Baby Names:

1. MOXIE CRIMEFIGHTER — The daughter of magician Penn Jillette, whose assertive word name can be called unique in the truest sense of that term, is the bearer of what may still be the absolute craziest celebrity baby name.

2. PILOT INSPEKTOR — Jason Lee took a lot of flack for this occupational name, to the extent that he’s keeping his second child’s name secret.

3. BRONX MOWGLI — Rockers Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz hit a new low with this New York neighborhood-Disney moniker, giving their son the initials B.M.W.

4. KAL-EL — Nicolas Cage’s son’s name seems fit for a child from another planet.

5. MARS MERKABA –  Okay, it’s better than Twitty Milk.  But it’s still from Outer Space.

6. PEANUT — Soap star Ingo Rademacher’s son’s name might give any child an inferiority complex.

7. DIEZEL — Word names are in, but fuel names?  Sorry, Toni Braxton, but this one is full of gas.

8. ZUMA NESTA ROCK — The name of Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale’s second son is simply trying way too hard on every level.

9.HUCKLEBERRY — Bear Gryll’s newborn son and big brother Marmaduke sound like a pair of cartoon characters.  But what can you expect when Dad’s name is Bear?

10. PUMA — We have to cite Erykah Badu for being a two-time offender, as she gave her daughter this feline and sneaker name.  But Badu also has a wicked sense of humor, as anyone who’s ever heard her fabulous song “Call Tyrone” can attest.

First for the good news.  Here are the starbaby names which we consider to have found the right combination of originality, charm and substance this year:

CLEMENTINE —Ethan Hawke & Ryan Shawhughes

Full name Clementine Jane Hawke projects the image of a sweet but strong, prim but pretty heroine of a Victorian novel, and brings to mind the song lyric ‘Oh my darlin’ (never mind that her shoes were #9).  It was previously the starbaby selection of Cybill Shepherd and Claudia Schiffer.

HONOR — Jessica Alba & Cash Warren

We applaud this choice that moves beyond the more common Puritan Virtue names like Grace, Hope, and Faith to one that projects an even more righteous image, but has rarely been heard in this country.  An honorable decision.

KNOX  & VIVIENNE —Angelina Jolie & Brad Pitt

The award for best twin names of the year goes to the always inventive but never quite over-the-top serial baby namers, the Jolie-Pitts.  Knox continued their tradition of boys’ names ending in ‘X’ (as in Maddox and Pax), and also has family connections to Brad’s grandfather, as does Vivienne’s middle name, Marcheline, that of Angelina’s mother.  Runner-up twin names: Coldplay drummer Will Champion’s lively Juno & Rex.

LOTUS —Rain Pryor

In the name garden overgrown with Roses and Lillies, Violets and Daisies, it seems fitting that the granddaughter of the late iconoclastic comedian Richard Pryor would have a more exotic flower name.  With its languorous feel, the lotus holds intriguing significance in several cultures.

SUNDAY—Nicole Kidman & Keith Urban

An unusual but sunny day-of-the-week name, inspired by an Australian artist’s patron named Sunday Reed, it’s in tune with other current calendar names like January, May, June and August, as well as the seasonal Winter and Summer.  Some people did think it strange that Sunday was born on a Monday.

And now for what we judge to be this year’s losers:

BRONX MOWGLI —Ashlee Simpson & Pete Wentz

Poor little Bronx got nothing but Bronx cheers when his name was released, especially as paired with the name of the Disneyfied Jungle Book boy.  If his parents thought this New York borough name would catch on the way Brooklyn has, they’re in for a big disappointment.

BUSTER —Michele Hicks & Jonny Lee Miller

Is he a bulldog?  Is he a prizefighter?  No, he’s a baby, whose rambunctuous name will not do much to encourage his sensitive side.  An example of the alarming trend towards giving doggy names (Lucky, Princess) to babies.

KADENCE CLOVER —Tony Hawk

It could just as well be Cadence Klover, within the paradigm of using the initial letters C and K interchangeably, leading to regrettable innovations like Kasey, Kassidy, Karolyn and Kaleb.  Fortunately, the trend seems to be waning.

MAXX —Scott Hamilton

Taking Max–which already means “the greatest”–to the max.  INXS, we’d say.

PEANUT—Ingo Rademacher

The General Hospital star explained that this had been the nickname they used “when he was in mommy.”  OK, good luck explaining that to him when he’s six feet tall and applying to Princeton.

We’d love to hear your nominations for the best and worst celebrity choices of the year, and won’t be surprised if you have very different opinions.  Let’s hear from you lovers of Harlow and defenders of Kadence!

Rockers Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz had a baby boy late last night and named him Bronx Mowgli.

Bronx is, of course, the name of a down-at-the-heels New York borough, nowhere near as fashionable — as a baby name or a place — as Brooklyn.  Usually called “The Bronx,” it’s named after early Dutch settler Jonas Bronck.

Qualifications as a celebrity baby name: It’s unusual, unexpected, New York-oriented, and it ends with the hipster brand X.  And it’s sure to get talked about — a lot.

Brooklyn and now Bronx aren’t the only New York place names turned baby names either: We’ve got a whole list of New York baby names to choose from.  Astoria, Gramercy, Tribeca, anyone?

Baby Bronx’s middle name is Mowgli, after the boy raised by wolves in Rudyard Kipling’s Jungle Book stories.  Kipling invented the name, which does not, he informed everyone who believed otherwise, mean “frog.”

Little Bronx Wentz (say that ten times fast) is sure to have plenty of compatible celebrity baby friends.  Brooklyn Beckham, definitely, son of Posh Spice and David.  Alabama Jennings, daughter of Shooter and Drea deMatteo, and Kingston Rossdale, son of Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale.  And the two Hudsons, son of James Barbour and daughter of Gena Lee Nolin.

Why are celebrity baby names so crazy?

That’s a question reporters often ask us, and we have a pet theory.

Unlike Manhattan lofts and private jets, baby names are free and something everybody has.  Therefore, celebrities have to try that much harder to make sure the names THEY choose are more special, more unusual, more elite than the ones available to the rest of us.

So they invent names, or they find them in the baby name books of lands few other people get to visit, or they adopt the names of obscure artists or designers, or they turn what might be an everyday word into an attention-getting name.

Like Pilot, say, or Moxie, or Speck, or Apple.

Whether these crazy celebrity baby names are true exercises in creativity or ploys for extra notice, it’s hard to say.  Not knowing Nicolas Cage personally, I can’t really judge whether naming his son Kal-El comes from the depths of his soul or is an attempt to prop up a flagging career.

It’s hard to imagine Nic saying to his wife, “I know, honey, I love the name Steve, too, but if we name the baby Kal-El, my Q Score is sure to go up and I’ll get an extra mil for my next film.”  But it’s equally hard to imagine anyone saying, “Kal-El or Crimefighter?  They’re both such fabulous names.”

There’s a difference, I think, between really wacky celebrity baby names and those that are just unusual and offbeat.

Pilot Inspektor, I think is wacky, while Sailor is sweet and unusual.  Everly Bear, the name of Anthony Kedis’ infant son, is kinda crazy, while Ever Gabo, Milla Jovovich and Paul Anderson’s daughter, is cute.  Julia Roberts’ Hazel is on the sunny side of normal, while twin brother Phinnaeus (especially because of that spelling) is toppling off the edge.  Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban’s Sunday is quirky, while other new starbabies Marmaduke and Ptolemy seem to have been chosen mainly as the subjects of press releases.

Celebrities, they’re just like us?  Maybe, but not when they name their babies.