Camryn Manheim never felt like a Debi
Posted December 20th, 2011
Emmy-award winning actress and activist Camryn Manheim shares the story of how and why she changed her name in this excerpt adapted from her memoir, “Wake Up, I’m Fat!“
For many actors, taking on a stage name is a way to distinguish themselves. I never took a stage name: I just changed my name altogether every few years until I got it right…
For some reason my parents decided to name me Debra. (To all Debs, Deborahs, Debbies, and Debras, please do not take offense, but this name sucks!) The hilarious part is that my parents agree that this is an awful name, which begs the question: “Well, then, what the hell were you thinking?”
And so I went through life with this albatross around my neck, a name with no character, no euphony, no style. Then, lucky me, they made a whole porn series called Debbie Does Dallas. That really helped me through high school.
So it should come as no surprise that, at an early age, each time I went away to summer camp, I would adopt a new name, The first year at Camp Kamoroff I was Chloe. It was sexy, irreverent, the kind of name they use for perfumes. Can you imagine dabbing on a little Debra before a date?
The second year at camp, before I was dismissed for bad behavior, I insisted on being called Dusty. It was rugged, the kind of name that says “Don’t mess with me, or I’ll saddle up, hunt you down, and hog-tie you.” Well, that’s what it said to me anyway. My parents would send me letters addressed to Debi Manheim and I’d look at the counselor and say, “Never heard of her.”
I went through countless temporary name changes, trying to find the right fit. And the problem was, until I came up with a name I could really commit to, I couldn’t get anybody to stop calling me Debi. My parents laughed at all my halfhearted attempts to lose the offending moniker.
But when I graduated from college, about to embark on my new life, I knew this was my one and only chance to reinvent myself for good. After a thorough examination of the options, I had whittled it down to three finalists: Sam, short for Sammy Frances, not Samantha), Sydney, and Camryn. I just always loved boys’ names.
I flew to England, which is where (my sister) Lisa was living at the time, and spent two weeks before we flew to Tel Aviv. While in London, the first name I tried on was Sam. Lisa really made an effort, but it was hard. She’d call out, “Debi…I mean, Sam, I mean, Debi, I mean, Sam…whatever!”…Just when she had it figured out, I decided Sam just wasn’t quite right. Sam, I am? No, Sam I am not.
Next up: Sydney. Now, I really liked Sydney and this name had a good shot of sticking. Lisa kept trying…..one night we were in a pub and Lisa had it down. She was calling me Sydney on the first try every time, and I was really feeling like a Sydney. Sydney, Syd, Sydney Manheim…yes, you can tap your toe to it. It was all set.
Then Lisa skipped to the loo and I was approached by a handsome bloke drinking a pint of stout. He came up to me and said, “My name’s Simon, what’s yours?”
I was practically bursting at the opportunity to run my new name up the flagpole. “Hi, Simon, my name’s Sydney.”
And without so much as a nanosecond’s pause, he said, “No, it’s not.” Instead of fighting for my new name, I caved immediately. “You’re right, it’s Debi.”
Lisa returned from the bathroom and said loud enough for the guy to hear, “Hey, Sydney.”
I snapped at her, trying to prevent any further embarrassment. “My Name’s not Sydney, it’s Debi.”
To which she said, “You sure it’s not Sybil?”
If it was so obvious that I wasn’t a Sydney, then I would just have to scrap the name.
I had one chance left. We arrived in the “Promised Land” and I had all my hopes riding on Camryn.
Okay, now, we all know that some pretty heavy stuff has happened in the Holy Land…Some people get to the Wailing Wall and have a vision; I heard a voice.
“Camryn…Camryn…Camryn.” Somebody—a benevolent spirit perhaps—was whispering my new name to me…..I got my sign and that night, my sister, the fabulous artist, sat on the bed, teaching me my new autograph.
When I later arrived at New York University for graduate school, I told all my new friends and classmates that my name was Camryn. They seemed to believe me, but for months, every time I introduced myself, I looked into their eyes, half expecting them to say “No, it’s not.” The hard part was convincing myself…It took me a full calendar year before I really owned Camryn. But once I did, I knew I’d never let it go.
Many thanks to Camryn for permission to reprint this.
Anyone else out there change their name? Or want to?
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11 Responses to “Camryn Manheim never felt like a Debi”
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Nook of Names Says:
December 20th, 2011 at 6:05 am
Argh! Apologies, I just had difficulties posting my comment, and now it’s missing it’s original first paragraph, which should read:
I ran a little survey recently among my friends to see how they felt about their name; more than 50% weren’t happy, some were so-so, but very few actually really liked their name.
IzzyQ Says:
December 20th, 2011 at 8:51 am
I’ve always liked unusual or out-there names. Sometimes I wish I could change my name to Niobe but I just don’t seem like a Niobe.
Lola Says:
December 20th, 2011 at 9:02 am
I’ve been thinking of becoming the Cleo I’ve always been. Lola has been my nickname for 42 years but I’ve always thought my name should have been Cleo. If I do it, it’ll be soon. How practical is it to change your name in your 40′s?
Lola MacK- fits me, but… I don’t know. I wanna be Cleo MacK!
I’ve asked my friends if they like their names (over the last year) and most of the girls are dissatisfied, most of the guys like their names. Like Kathleen wants to be Katharine but Charlie is happy with Charlie. Go figure! 
mkat41896 Says:
December 20th, 2011 at 10:32 am
My name is Mary Kathryn, but I go by Kathryn, and I’m seriously considering changing my name to Kathryn Mary… would that be stupid?
CharacterNamer Says:
December 20th, 2011 at 1:10 pm
I don’t think it would be stupid! If you already go by Kathryn, it wouldn’t be hard for people to adapt to your new name.
On another note, my birth name IS Cameron, and it fits me well.
skizzo Says:
December 20th, 2011 at 2:08 pm
Heh, I find Deborah (spelt this way) so much better than Sam, Sydney or Camryn. But that’s just me. But good for her on having the courage to go through with it
rollo Says:
December 20th, 2011 at 5:55 pm
I think the name Deborah is beautiful and Camryn I think you do look like a Debbie!
miloowen Says:
December 20th, 2011 at 6:33 pm
I vastly prefer Deborah to Debra and Dvora to both, and I love Dvora. Cameron I prefer for boys, and I don’t like the spelling Camryn at all. However, I do understand her desire to go from Debi to something she felt suited her. I have never liked my first name nor have I ever felt it suited me. Since I chose my own middle name in 3rd grade — I didn’t have one — it seems likely that I would have chosen a new first name too, and yet I didn’t. Maybe after you publish under your birth name it just seems crazy to reinvent another identity? I do love my Hebrew name — Michal — and wish that I had had the guts to ask people to call me that instead.
catmcroy Says:
December 23rd, 2011 at 2:21 am
@Lola – go for it!!
As for me? Like Camryn I grew up with a name I hated and with nicknames I hated even MORE (Susan and Susie/Suzy/Sue). Basically everytime someone calls me by it, I utterly cringe and wince inside. I used to take foreign language courses in school so I’d have a chance to rename myself for a bit (in grade 5 French, well into my L.M. Montgomery obsession, I tried on Anne for a bit but realized I wasn’t an Anne). And I tried on more – Mercedes, Suzanne (I was in French immersion and this one didn’t fully catch on but at least had Leonard for a soundtrack), I don’t remember what for German.
And then I discovered a local medieval re-enactment group. And I tried on another name and discovered that while I love the name Gwenhwyfar, I didn’t love having it automatically shortened to Gwen. And then in Withycombe, I stumbled across Cateline (13th Century French version of Catherine) and when I started university, I made the transition from Susan to Cat(eline) (and eventually got really tired of having it mangled to kate-lynn) to Cat(herine). And when I look in the mirror and think of myself, I’m Catherine.
bderosia Says:
February 6th, 2012 at 1:18 pm
I never wanted to change my first name because I think it is perfect for my personality, my parents took their time (almost the whole nine months of time) to get agree on it and I think they got it right.
However my parents split up when I was very young and my dad more or less stopped being my dad. So as through my pre-teen years I thought about changing my name to my step-dads last name. Then when I was 16 he and my mom split up and eventhough he tried really hard to still be my dad for about a year he eventually got re-married and only calls me on my birthday now. It’s sad but I’m now glad I didn’t take on his name either. Once again I was back to the “is it possible to pick my own last name or something” state of mind.
I could always use my mothers madien name but since my last name will change when I get married I think I’ll just keep the one my father gave me. But you can bet I will not be hyphenating my last name to my husbands, I will be Mrs.Blank plain and simple.
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Interestingly, most of those who disliked or even hated their name had names, like Camryn, which were commonplace and very much had been the popular names at the time of their birth.
Hat’s off to Camryn for being bold enough to change her name; most of us in the West aren’t, even though in many cultures in history and the present time, changing your name as you progress through life is the norm.
This whole issue is something I’m planning to take a closer look at in the New Year.