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Names No Boy May Be Cool Enough For

You have to be pretty damn cool to name your kid Elmer, cool in that I-like-it-and-I-don't-care-what-the-world-thinks kind of way. Except you're not the one who's going to have to deal with having the name Elmer when you play Little League. You're not the one who's going to have to introduce yourself as Elmer to girls at parties. In fact, if you think it's so cool, maybe you should change your own name to Elmer rather than laying it on a poor little kid. The point: While we can appreciate the contrarian cool inherent in these clunky names, we fear that few children at this point in time are cool enough actually to live with them.
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  • Archibald

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    The short form Archie is so open and friendly --and very trendy in the British Isles--that some parents are now beginning to consider the formerly fusty Archibald as well. SNL comedians Amy Poehler... Read More 

  • Arnold

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    Despite the Governator, this name does not have much muscle. Strange as it may now seem, St. Arnold was a Greek by birth who became a member of the Court of Charlemagne. Read More 

  • Bernard

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    Though the patron saint of mountain climbers, still an unathletic, outdated name with a highly intellectual image.  Read More 

  • Bertram

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    Old Norman name last current in the 1930s, and firmly in our 'so far out it will always be out' category--despite its appearance as a Hogwarts student in Harry Potter.  Read More 

  • Burton

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    Prissy, no matter how you spell it.  Read More 

  • Delbert

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    Problematic, even if not for Dilbert.  Read More 

  • Durwood

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    As wooden as its second syllable. Read More 

  • Edgar

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    Though Edgar (and Edgardo) are popular with Latino families, and have had such famous forebears as Edgar Allan Poe, most would rate it a distant third to Edward and Edmund.  Read More 

  • Egbert

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    The ultimate nerd name.  Read More 

  • Elmer

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    Thanks to Elmer Fudd, Elmer the Cow, and even Elmer's glue, this name has become a bit of a joke -- the quintessential so-far-out-it-will-always-be-out name.  Read More 

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