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Names No Girl May Be Cool Enough For

You have to be pretty darn cool to name your kid Hortense, cool in that I-like-it-and-I-don't-care-what-the-world-thinks kind of way. Except you're not the one who's going to have to deal with having the name Hortense when you play soccer. You're not the one who's going to have to introduce yourself as Hortense to boys at parties. In fact, if you think it's so cool, maybe you should change your own name to Hortense rather than laying it on a poor little kid. The point: While we can appreciate the contrarian cool inherent in these clunky names, we fear that few children at this point in time are cool enough actually to live with them.
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  • Myrna

    Gender: F Rate:

    Myrna Loy, Mrs. Thin Man, was lovely -- but her name is not.  Read More 

  • Phyllis

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    Phyllis has been used by classical poets for the idealized pastoral maiden, but its twenty-first-century image is closer to Phyllis Diller. Phyllida is a variation that sounds at once more old-fash... Read More 

  • Shirley

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    All Shirleys were born in 1937, when Shirley Temple was America's princess -- or at least sound as if they were. Shirley Temple almost single-handedly lifted the gloom of the Great Depression, an... Read More 

  • Vigdis

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    Charmless outside its native culture. Read More 

  • Yetta

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    Too close to yenta.  Read More 

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