If you look at the very bottom of the Social Security name records, you’ll find plenty of ill-advised baby names that people actually choose, and really really shouldn’t have.
The baby names here were gathered from names given to five children in 2012. To protect privacy, the government only records names used for five or more babies each year, so chances are there are even worse choices out there that didn’t make the official statistics.
Here, what not to name your baby, and why:
Ahmiracle and Dmiracle – There were nearly 800 girls named just plain Miracle, and then you’ve got your Jamiracles and your Lamiracles. But we draw the line.
Assia – You just can’t give an American baby a name that contains the word “ass.”
Beautyful and Pretty – She better be.
Disney – Product placement?
Goodness – Most teenagers would take this as a dare.
Ikea – A Big Box name.
Money and Pryce – Uh…no.
Richard – Every year there are a handful of girls named Richard….and George and David, and boys named Charlotte and Sophia. Clerical mistakes? Sometimes, probably. And then other times, they’re just mistakes.
Rosary – Saints’ names and other religious names can work, but this takes baby-name-as-devotion too far.
Stonie – Will create a rocky path for your child.
Younique – Unfortunately not. And there were five girls named Yunique too.
Abass – See Assia.
Carrion – Baby name roadkill.
Emperor – Why not Tyranius?
Handsome – See Beautyful and Pretty.
Harshit – Harshit and Harshita are Sanskrit names with a lovely meaning: full of happiness. But they don’t translate well into English.
Kartier – Klassy.
Patch – His big brother’s name is AOL
Princeten or Prinston – Maybe he’ll get into Yale.
Ralphy – Middle name: Boy.
Rambo – Scary, yet not as scary as the six boys named (yes, really) Rage.
Vader – Ready for a lifetime of Star Wars jokes?
For thousands of really unusual names you can give your baby, get our new e-book, The Nameberry Guide to Off-the-Grid Baby Names.