Baby Name Battles: Lost or Won?

My husband’s top choice for a girl was Chloe. I didn’t like it. I like Zoey, but not Chloe. And I knew someone who had named her daughter Chloe, so for me it was out. He tried to convince me but I stayed firm. I bought a Bratz Baby doll that was named Cloe – I think it was spelled like that – and told him that was the only way he was getting a daughter named Chloe! Ha!

For our second daughter I really liked Sosie. When I brought it up to my husband his immediate response was “no” but I just waited him out and dropped little hints about why it was an awesome name. Of course, I won – our daughter is named Sosie.

But there will never be a Chloe. Hee hee.

In hebrew cultures it was customary tradition for the woman, I.E. the Mama, to choose her child’s name. It was an honor bestowed on the one who would be using it the most, in essence.

Something to the affect will be in my marriage vows.

The above posts really made me chuckle!!

When it came to naming my daughter I lost the battle…I really wanted Eva to be called ‘Dhalia’..pronounced with a la de da (“Darlia”). OH almost gave in when it came to the last day we could register her, but then I had a sudden change of heart because I thought people would pronounce it or spell it wrong and I didn’t want to burden her with that for the rest of her life, constantly correcting people. OH really worked hard to plant the seed of doubt! Although I am still fond of the name.

I got lucky with my second son’s name. When our first son was born, my husband wouldn’t even consider the name Theodore. It took 2.5 years but he finally agreed when our second little boy was born and now he adores the name!

I reallyreally wanted to name use Henry Oliver but my partner *hated* Henry so we went ended up deciding on Oliver Theodore.

I have yet to have children, or even a husband, but I always tell my mum that my husband won’t get a say in the naming. I’m the one who has to deal with nine months of pregnancy and then having to get the baby out of me, I’m the one who gets to name it.

I won with all 3, but am thinking oof letting him win with this one (shhh!)

I named the boys here in the States while He was stationed in Germany. So there was only a phone call where He said “You named them WHAT!?!” Fast forward to Josie (18 years later) and I won again. Josephine’s a family name for me. Her middle name’s a family name/surname of mine as well. Her second middle honors three of my Aunts. I figure it was fair, Leo’s a family name for me, Simon’s from His side. Both of their middles are from His side. The second middles are family surnames, one from mine, one from his. (I did try to equalise the boys, honest!)

With this one, we’re looking at potentially doing what I did with the boys and flip-flopping sides. Maybe I’ll let him pick his favorite of our chosen few. I haven’t decided yet.

Oh brother. We’re still TTC, but my husband and I have pretty different naming styles. First he said that Ruby, my great-grandmother’s name (and one time top naming choice), sounded like a stripper name. Imogene, another name I love, sounds to him like a medicine. I have no idea where he gets this stuff from. Then I asked him what names he likes, I discovered that he would like to name our children names from our generation (ie. Amanda, Kelly, Matt, Zack). I finally took him to the SSA site to show him graphs of how names have actually changed popularity over time and since he’s a pretty logical guy, that persuaded him. Now I’m working on a list of mutually acceptable names. Most of them have ended up being in the “classics” genre (ie. Alice, Henry, Alan) by default — it seems to be the one category of names that we both like.

I let him win with baby 1 because the name he wanted fit her better. My first name choice, Suzannnah, went out the window because my aunt’s name is Susan. I didn’t realize the two names would conflict until my dad reminded me (Ashkenazi tradition). It threw me for a loop and then my husband snuck in with his favorite name and she just looked right.

I so wanted to name our son Gideon but my husband said he hated it. I fought hard until husband proposed naming the baby Kodiak…we came to an agreement, no Gideon, no Kodiak and now gave baby Magnus.

My other half and I tend to argue about children who do not exist yet! He REALLY wants a Michael (but not a JR). I already have 6 Michaels in my family and don’t want another one. We are different religions so I told him I will agree to be married by a Catholic priest and allow my children to be baptized Catholic since it is so important to him, but that means I get to name the kids..which means we do NOT get a Michael.

Of course this is assuming we have boys….

No children for me yet but luckily it seems like my boyfriend and I have very similar taste. Out of a long list of girl’s names he actually chose Evelyn as his favorite which totally took me off gaurd. Hopefully the story won’t change when we are actually naming our children!

My husband changes his mind so much on what he actually likes that it’s hard for me to take him seriously when suggesting names. His favourites for girls are beautiful, classic, feminine names (Lily, Francesca, Sophia, Rosaline, Jane, etc), but for boys it’s Kronus, Ulrik and Tigerbreath. Considering only one of those is an accepted name, and IT sounds awful with my husband’s Scandinavian surname (sounds kinda like “Uhl-mihn”)…I think I may get my way if we have a boy.

The problem I have is I can be TO convincing. I cause my husband to fall in love with a name and then I move on and he’s like “but what about________?!?!?” This has happened plenty of times, and he always rejects the new name the first time I mention it! No children yet, but I’m honestly worried about deciding on one (or three) name(s) for just one child! I ( I mean, we ) will never be able to decide!

all the time…

most of my favorite names have been vetoed by the hubby. i have come to realize {since my husband is pickier than i am} that the naming of our firstborn will have to be more of a give than take for me and more of a take than give for him. fortunately, he has enough names {about two or three for each gender} that i like as much as he does. we should be able to come up with something. the only name i want to really press him on his using kenneth somehow if we have a boy. it is my father’s name, and after losing him about five years ago, it would mean so much to me to carry on his name in some form.

My boyfriend and I have very different tastes in names. I like slightly-out-of-vogue classics like Alan and Freya, or unexpected, “hipster” names like December and Felix. SO, on the other hand, tends to like what are (in my opinion) overused names like Sarah, Caitlin, and Mark. We’ve definitely gotten into arguments over names. He calls mine stuffy or ridiculous, and I call his boring and redundant.

Thankfully, we agree on one set of names: any name mentioned in the Harry Potter series. It sounds so dorky, but we both love those books, and thank goodness, because I can get my anything from Frederick to Luna. Luna particularly has opened his eyes to other names I like. If we have kids together down the road, they will most likely all have HP-inspired names

All the darn time. I wanted Max to be Tiberius and he wanted Elliot. Both were vetoed for the first spot and became mn instead.
For the male half of these twins I wanted jasper and he wanted Bennett both were vetoed again. I also wanted constantine and that was vetoed for the fn spot and is now in the mn spot.
we only seem to have issues with boys names because he has NO input ever into girls names.

I think I have vetoed every single name my husband has ever suggested. The problem is I am a teacher so I’m more aware of trends and overpopularity than he is. When I found the name Scarlett I thought for sure I’d found THE NAME. I was so excited but he shot it down instantly. I kept bringing it up thinking he’d have forgotten his first reaction. He hadn’t so I let go of Scarlett and we decided on something else. About a week before I was due he said to me, “You know, I think I’m beginning to like Scarlett.” I could have killed him. Turns out we had a boy and didn’t have to worry about it.

First time around in 2005, my husband wouldn’t let me use Maisie, because it rhymes with “crazy”. I’m glad we didn’t use Maisie now anyway. His favourite was Lucy, which we didn’t go with either.

Second time around in 2007, my husband’s favourite was Samuel and it just wasn’t ‘exciting enough’ for me – having known a couple of Samuels growing up. I liked Oliver, but he disliked that one.

Third time around in 2011, we settled on my husband’s favourite girl name and boy name. (Didn’t find out the baby’s gender until birth.) He brought back Lucy from 2005 – I tried to bring back the variant ‘Lucinda’, but he still disliked it. He also tried bringing back the made-up middle name of Jememennie – but I vetoed that again! It turned out his boy choice had changed from 2007, so we don’t have a Samuel.

Like a pp, my husband wanted Michael for our son. I already had way too many Michaels in my family! My list included Aidan and Liam (this was 13 years ago). He just wanted Michael, and said my names were “too different.” We ended up compromising on Kyle, which had an “l” ending like Michael, and was Celtic in origin like Aidan and Liam.

My husband and I had agreed on THE name, a long-time favorite of mine which happened to be a family name for him, and then two weeks before my due date I fell absolutely in love with Celia Rose. Still love it, love it, love it. But he held out for the long-term agreed-upon name, and I still like it. (But Celia Rose sounds like warm silk).

I do have a friend whose mother actually contrived to get her husband to write the name on the papers in pencil, and once he left the hospital for the night she switched to a totally different name – in ink! I guess it helps to be a friend of the nurses.

Family and friends of mine had went through this and I never wanted it to come up. I have always had a firm stand on the subject of who got the honor of having the final baby naming say. I think the person who goes through nine months of pregnancy and gives birth and has to breast-feed is the person who should have the majority of the say. Not to mention that meant I would have the say and keeping family names is very important to my side of the family.

So in every relationship I have had I made it clear once we started getting serious that I expected to name ALL of the kids I would give birth to, end of subject. Not all of my boyfriends agreed with this of course and I’m sure it was a small little part of why we didn’t work out.

My husband had no problem with it and even thought it seemed fair once I explained my thought process. So far we have had two daughters Annabelle and Lucy, and I named both. Luckily he loved both names as well.

The one loop hole I agreed to was if we adopted a child (thus niether of us would be giving birth) and that child was under one year old (past that there isn’t much point in renaming) my husband would have the same amount of say in the naming process as me. But that is highly unlikely, we may adopt in the future but it would be years and years from now and we most likely would adopt an older child through the state.

I guess that means I won before we even got married but I don’t think it means my hubby lost either

I get naming rights. However, my husband has a right to veto anything he truly dislikes. Unless it is a family name – there’s no way he can argue against naming our children after Great Aunt Kat or Grandma Penny.

I love reading these! So glad to know I’m not alone. Our naming conversations go:

Me: “Do you like x?”
Him: “No.”
Me: “Do you like y?”
Him: “Is that even a name?”
Me: “Yes.”
Him: “Then no.”
Me: “Do you like z?”
Him: “…do I have to?”
Me: “Grrr. I give up.”

Yes, I actually growl at him. Quite frequently. We generally agree on girls’ names, though my tastes change more quickly than his, but boys’ names are an entirely different story. So far he has vetoed my two favorites: Simon and Charles, and we’ve only been able to agree on one: Frederick. I figure by the time we get around to baby boy #2, he’ll see things my way. It’s a good thing babies take a long, hormonal nine months to give me time to wear down his nerves.

This is very true to life for me right now! My SO and i have very different tastes in names, especially for girls! We are expecting a little lady and I really love frilly names like Arianna, Christianna, as well as old classics like Elizabeth and Charlotte. My man on the other hand prefers Jennifer, Jessica, Dawn for gods sakes, as well as names like Maxine (ugh! I personally cant stand the name), and Jeanette. Thankfully of late hes come around a little with the lovely Julianna which is more my style but still not my swoon name of Georgia which he has pretty much veto’d.
This name thing has driven us to shouting matches. Its very frustrating indeed.

I may not be even thinking about having children for at least 10-15 years yet, but I know for a fact that every child we have, I will name.

I am a little disappointed to hear that so many had ‘wars’ with their husbands over naming baby, and sorry to hear that some are demanding naming rights for themselves.

Sounds to me like the dream of husband and wife walking happily into the sunset hand in hand won’t be a reality if you can’t communicate with your spouse and MUST be the ONE in charge or else!

C’mon guys, this is marriage, the baby you made together, this is your dream don’t turn it into a nightmare. Communicate with love, believe me it works a treat. I know so many women who demand their ‘rights’ and would become very fiesty with a guy who actually had enough character to disagree with them. Don’t you know there is more than one way to win the ‘war’? It doesn’t involve ‘fighting’, it does though require patience though.

I have been married for over 40 years and my husband spoils me a lot. The pugnacious attitude over the patient one is not the best way to go.

I get final naming rights. I ask his opinion and if it is a strong no I consider it but it doesn’t strike it off my list. if it’s an “eh it’s okay” I consider this a yes. I do all the research and thinking up names and he throws out things like “Dina” and “Liz” (ugh really?) Honestly my husband works all the time and I do nearly all the child rearing. I carry the children, I nurse the children and I spend ALL my time with them. I get final say.

The only way, is to choose the name together. Of course, we didn’t agree, so we each had the right to veto a name. It took us 8 months to decide and, strangely enough it was a name that was sitting on our list the whole time, but we just kept passing over it. We decided on Christmas morning, that was our gift, knowing the name of our little man, and we didn’t share it until he was born.

My future husband and I have had no problem at all deciding names for sons (up to having 3 sons, with a particular order to the names.)
Girls’ names are entirely different! I have dreamed since I was 14 of having a Baby Georgia. He doesn’t like it at all. He never says he dislikes any name out right but replies with things like, “Well, if you want our daughter to be mean/obese/come out looking 80 then yeah, we can name her X.”

I really agree with rollo. While I may daydream about having “naming rights”, ultimately this is just another exercise in compromise and communication. Not to say it doesn’t get frustrating, but that’s just part of the process.

I was in love the name Sylvie Jane for a few months, and at first my husband wasn’t opposed. Then one day he admitted it didn’t “sing” to him like it did to me. I took a moment, mentally mourned the loss, and moved forward. I expect him to be equally respectful to my vetoes.

I was actually shocked when DH immediately agreed to use ADELAIDE for our first daughter (we chose it over a year before we even conceived). He usually tossed out fairly conservatively traditional (and overused) names, so I was surprised he liked Adelaide as much as I did. We have not been able to find another name we both like as much as we both loved Adelaide.

Naming baby #1 was easy. Since then, naming baby #2 was a challenge and now deciding on a name for our third girl is proving to be even more difficult.

There are a few names I love, which he absolutely hates. I keep bringing them up, hoping he might change his mind. I’ve even told him, “Nameberry says that other people who like ‘Adelaide’ also like . . . “. That tactic just gets laughed at! It’s more of a joke now.

The names I would love to use but he has vetoed are (in order of my preference): VERITY, CORDELIA, ELODIE, EULALIA.

I have really liked VERITY for a long time now, but it’s one he won’t budge on.

I feel it’s important that we both really like the names we choose and there are so many names out there to choose from, so as much as I really like some names he hates, I would never want him to agree to any of them just like I wouldn’t want to have to give in to a name I really hated that he really liked.

I don’t think we will find a name that we both like as much as we both liked the name we chose for our first daughter and I’m okay with that. We didn’t choose our second daughter’s name until she was born (which isn’t what we intended, we generally like to have a name picked out) and the name we ended up choosing was a last minute addition to our short list of names. I don’t think either of us felt as confident about the name we chose as we had been the first time around, but it grew on us quickly and really suits our second daughter. For us, I think the name choosing process has changed with each pregnancy.

I will hopefully not be in the business of naming a human being for many years, but I do have a handy list of all the names I like — and I do mean *all*, as I’ve been through the entire alphabet on behindthename (great way to avoid studying). There is a good deal of variety on there, so I am counting on it being possible for any man to pick a few things they like from it, even if they aren’t necessarily *my* favourites. Though I think I’d be inclined to at least leap in to defend said favourites if they came under fire. It will, however, be quite a problem if they are all rejected, though at least having a list means that we could find out how strongly we disagreed quite early on!

Earlier this week, I mentioned the name Beatrice to my husband and he laughed out loud for ten minutes before uttering that horrible word, “veto”. We’re not ttc yet, but expect to be this year. Because I’m a name nerd, I’m always throwing names out there–him not so much. I’ve actually never heard him bring up a name of his own accord. He’s such a creative guy, I expect that he’ll be very opinionated when the issue is more relevant to our lives. So why does he hate Beatrice so much? “Just because old lady names are in fashion, it doesn’t mean that ugly names are cool.” These names aren’t old lady names anymore! They’re beautiful and timeless. I think he might follow suit of the husbands mentioned above who still think that 80s names are the only “normal option”.

My number one naming requirement is that we both have to love the name. Not just tolerate, or like the name- LOVE it. There are enough names in the world, there is enough time in the world. So I agree with rollo, above. Also, you could turn this reasoning around- if the mother is so privileged to bear, nurse, and be the primary caregiver of the child, surely the father should get a significant role in naming that child.

Many of both of our names were vetoed during the process. I tend to like more vintage and, from his point of view, adventurous names (Theodore “Teddy”, Isobel, Sebastian, Malachi, Felix, Clover, Idonea “Idony”, etc.). He tends to like names that were popular when he was a kid (Nicole, Amanda, Jeremy, etc.), and while these names are still pretty popular, they just aren’t my to my tastes. Fortunately, our tastes converge on the “Timeless Classics” category, which is where we got Matthew Michael and Nathaniel “Nathan” Xavier. (Yep, I know, I am surprised that we both agreed on Xavier too! I have a feeling that were each had different reasons for the agreement. I think he suggested it because of Professor X of the X-men. However, I like the slightly funky/adventurous feel of the name. Whatever works, right?!)

My husband and I have quite different taste of naming thing. Every name I brought up he just said no with his own excuses (like it was a kid he hated in grade 3 or all people who name that are boring or trouble makers) but there’s only a name I will never and ever change and I must win. The name is Alexander as I love this name since I was a child (and ofcus he said all Alexanders are mommy boy so he begs me if we can put Alexander as middle name)

And for the girl I think now we both agree on Penelope Rose (even I prefer Scarlett, but it’s just a little too weird with her last name)

I’ve always believed that while the couple should discuss the names and compromise, the mother should get final say. Mainly because as other posters have said, she IS the one who carries the child for 9 months.

However, thankfully my husband and I never had trouble with names, since we made a deal when I first became pregnant. I would choose the first name of our first child and he would choose the middle – and then for our second, he would choose the first name and I would choose the middle name, and so on. We ended up with a Felix George, Isabel Plath and Reuben James. Each of their names has a special meaning and we chose them together, which I think makes them all the more special. If the new baby is a girl, her name will be Camilla Poe, and if it is a boy his name will be Beau Theodore.

I think our naming process works quite well, especially as opposed to my sister’s. She and her husband decided that he would name their sons and she would name their daughters, because neither of them could agree on any names. She ended up having four sons and can’t have any more kids. Their names are Butch, Rocky, Skip and Hank – all names that my sister hates. She confided in me once that if she had gotten a say in the names, they would have been Cooper, Brody, Liam and Shea. All names that in my opinion, would have been much nicer than what they got.

My husband is incredibly picky. He only liked ONE name when we were trying to choose one for our son — Connor. Every suggestion I make, he repeats the name like it’s the most disgusting thing he’s ever heard. He even crinkles his nose when he says it. haha

My favorite boy name of all time was Raphael, and I was nearly dead-set on naming any future son of mine Raphael. My BF said it was “too Ninja Turtles” and was a no-go. I wasn’t hurt, and just dropped it. Orion has taken its place, but I don’t know what he thinks of it.

One of his favorite girl names is Phoebe. At first I didn’t think too much of it, and thought it sounded kind of nasal. However I’ve come to like it a lot. It’s not my first choice, but it’s definitely amongst my top names.

In general, my husband doesn’t suggest names, but he does tend to have fairly strong opinions on the ones I like, so I just suggest a bunch and if he hates them, they’re out. So my loves Orla,Elodie,Amalia,and Veda have all been vetoed. I vetoed Killian, which he loves, but I can’t bring myself to name our baby a name that starts with Kill. We mutually agreed that Saiorse and Siobhan were lovely but too difficult to be understood on this continent. Luckily, we’ve found a couple of favourites – Bryn Harper for a girl and Coen Mannix for a boy. Also in the wings in case we change our minds are Elin, Elsa, and Olwen for girls, and Keane, William, and Russell for boys. Choosing a name can be frustrating, but I don’t agree with one parent strong-arming the other into a name they hate. compromise, people!

Thankfully my husband has been pretty agreeable to most of the names I like, especially the ones with family significance. I can get over him not liking one of my favorites, Bonnie or Mona or Dina, but there are so many names out there that are great I’m not too distraught. Plus I think it’s important for my husband to like the name of our child, I do the majority of the picking out anyway. He can’t produce names he likes, so he just tells me whether or not he likes the names I cross by him. Sometimes it a little unpredictable if he will or won’t like something or why. I like Maeve, but he doesn’t like the way it rolls off his tongue. So that takes it off the FN list. But, I just save it to ask him about later and maybe he’ll think better of it. That’s the great thing about choosing names so far in advance of having a child, it gives so much more opportunity to find names in common. I have 3 girls and 3 boys names ready to go. It’s been a pretty good experience I’d say.

I think my husband and I will have an interesting time naming our future children- it took us weeks to figure out what to name our dog! We went back and forth for awhile and finally compromised after the pup was home. I did try to start calling her my name of choice, Bijou, to see if it would grow on him and it didn’t. Our compromise name fits her much better. Hopefully we’ll have an easier time with naming kiddies

Guess you can say I won – I think it was a win/win: With our first my husband wanted to use a family name but I didn’t think it was a fit – We agreed on Reid for the first name and I wanted Cullen (my maiden name as the middle name)which he wasn’t sold on….After my C-Section I woke up to find Reid Cullen on the board in our room !!! With our second son we agreen on Ryan but again not on the middle name – I won out with James after my dad’s middle name – my arguement was the have your families last name so I wanted my family to be apart of their names by using them in the middle….

We’re having difficulty with this right now. Our first son was named Henry only after a long and frustrating naming process that basically went like this…

Me: Suggest name
Him: No
Me: Suggest name
Him: No
Me: Suggest name
Him: No
Me: So how about you suggest something.
Him: Oh, I can’t think of anything…
Me: Argh!!!

He said this time that he doesn’t want to go through all that again. The problem is that I’m now 35 1/2 weeks pregnant and we haven’t even begun to seriously discuss names. I think this one may end up being John Doe at the rate we’re going! Argh.

Our rule is if one of us doesn’t like it, it doesn’t go on the list. Our children are just that: ours. He is as much their parent as I am, so naming them is a joint task. (Rollo – I loved your post.)

We take turns offering suggestions. We read websites and books and makes lists. Then we compare. It’s not a quick process, but I know the final product will be worth it. I don’t want either of us to cringe inwardly every time we hear our kids names. Sitting at their swim meet, their soccer game, graduation, their wedding and hearing their name used should be a time when that name makes us proud and happy, not when one of us thinks “Man, we should’ve chosen X or Y!”

For our firstborn, it was a very short list, but we both love the name. For this next baby, we’re just starting to think about names.

And whoever said naming their second child was harder than the first, I totally agree! We don’t want matchy-matchy names, but we want names that sound nice together. It’s tougher than I anticipated.

DH doesn’t like Ian, my favorite boy’s name. He also doesn’t like Rosemary nn Romy, one of my favorite girl’s names. I like Sophie, but he prefers Sophia (which just sounds snobby to me–I don’t know why I think of them as totally different names). We both like Caroline, so we’re definitely planning to use that one.

My ex husband vetoed my all time favourite girl’s name – Stevie Rhiannon. I remember crying (I was also pregnant and hormonal!!). “No daughter of his was going to be Stevie and ix-nay on the Rhiannon”. So we compromised on the full length Stephanie (which Stevie is short for) and my middle name for her middle name and in the long run I’m glad of it. My current partner and I are a couple of years away from TTC probably (scary enough since Miss S. just turned 10) but we already have names picked out and agreed on. UNLIKE my ex, literally every name I suggested he said “I don’t like that one” so I’d say “okay well what names do you like?” and he’d reply “I haven’t though about it yet”. I could have throttled him.

with our 6 biological kids we had the rule that i birthed them, so i named them. then with our 4 adopted kids, i chose two names and he got to pick which one he liked. so far, he’s picked nicely

Here are a few examples (in the best chronolical order I can remember)”
Him: “Claymore? And you can call him Clay.”
Me: “Like the explosive and the sword? And your brother is Clay.”
Him: “It’s got the two best things, weapons and family.”

Him: “D’mitri or Sergei.”
Me: “You’re Italian, not Russian.”
Him: They both have a mob, it’s close.”
Me: “What about Alexei then?”
Him: “Like Alexis? No.”

Me: “Delilah?”
Him: “Do I have to like it?”
Me: “No.”
Him: “Then no. Lilith?”
Me: “Like Adam’s first wife? The demon?”
Him: “Yeah…badass. Plus there’s always Lily.”
Me: “I’ll think about it.”
Although admittedly it’s grown on me, but Lily is a no-go. I don’t like it.

But he’s gotten better. He approved Simon! *happy dance*