Are You Honest About Names?

I agree with being honest about it before the birth and quiet about it afterwards. I try to realize the parents’ style and make my judgment based on that. If I don’t like a name, it might still fit with their style, so it’s not really how much I personally like it (unless they ask) but rather “does it fit with their style or family.”

I agree with jackobeam, honest before, quiet after. I try to see the positive to every name, but if it is truely horrendous I will def speak up. No reason why there should be a child named Child without saying something.

Most friends don’t tend to share names that they like whilst pregnant. I’d probably just be polite about the name, unless they specifically asked for an honest opinion or they said something about a name being very unusual and I could point them to statistics that showed otherwise.

If a friend just shares names on her shortlist and isn’t pregnant, yet I’m not a fan of the name and the name doesn’t match the style of her other 3 children’s names, I just keep quiet about it – as she obviously likes the name a lot.

One (American) friend did mention liking the name Fanny, whilst pregnant. I did send her to a website that explained the vulgar British slang meaning of the word / name. So that actually did put her off using the name – though she went on to have a boy.

Anonymously online I’d be far more likely to point out mismatches in sibling sets or names that are too close to other siblings or names that don’t go well with the lastname. In real life, I’d probably keep my mouth shut, unless it was something potentially very embarrassing and the baby was yet to be born.

I think that unless you’re aware of some sort of massive teasing factor that the parents may not know about, you should keep quiet. There’s no pleasing everyone, ultimately, and not every name will be your style. Not to mention the name chosen by someone else may hold great significance to those wanting to use it and they don’t need to hear how horrid you think it is.

That said, I think naming forums like nameberry, are outlets for honest and constructive criticism, so honesty is a bit more important.

No matter how much I like or dislike a name, I’m willing to give my honest opinion before the name is actually official. However, if it’s a name that I personally just don’t like for no particularly good reason, I tend to just say that its a name I wouldn’t use myself. Especially when it comes to friends.

If a friend is head over heels in love with a name, I’m not going to tell them its a terrible name unless I have a good reason to do so (i.e.: terrible nickname, terrible namesake, something that might make people always think one way about the child).

I agree with the general consensus – honest when the names are just up for consideration, nuthin’ but smiles when I meet baby Nevaeh Reilei. Because by then? The ship has sailed!

But I do find that even names I would’ve given the big thumbs down in my “honest” stage can really grow on me. Sometimes it is because the kid called Estelle is just so lovely I can’t help but change my mind. Other times it is because the more I know about a name’s backstory and a parent’s reason for choosing it, the more I realize that it is every bit as valid as my choices.

Even if they’re still not my style.

Most importantly, how honest I am depends on how close I am to the asker. If it was a close friend and they were dead set on the name Spiral or some such nonsense, I’d feel obligated out of love to warn them. And likewise I’d want them to be honest with me. With a near stranger I’d probably do the old smile and nod! No one wants opinionated acquaintances intruding into something so personal.

This wouldn’t apply, though, to names I’m just not fond of or personally don’t like. If my friend liked names like Brandy, Taylor, Piper and the like, I’d just say, “That’s pretty.” and leave well enough alone. Some things are a matter of taste and, more importantly, personal significance. Parents shouldn’t have to worry about pleasing everybody.

Well, I would try to find out why they picked the name to begin with. Like my chronically single and childless Aunt C told me she would like to haved named a daughter Albinia Agnes. I cringed, but then she explained that it is the first names of her Grandmothers AND she had cute nicknames picked out (Alby or Nessy). After I heard that, I was totally okay with the names.

So if my friends liked the name Gurtrude because of family ties or just liked the nickname Trudy, I’d love it right along with them.

I have friends that have odd names for their children, (ie Catcher) and I never say a thing cause eventually the shock wears off and you can’t think of any other name that would as fitting as the one they have.

I think it’s only acceptable to say something before the baby is born. And even then, I think it’s only acceptable if you have a legitimate objection.

So if my sister/friend/acquaintance came to me saying that she’s planning on naming the baby Hiroshima or Gaylord, I would speak up. If she was planning on naming the baby Courtney and Courtney was the name of the meanest girl in third grade, I would not say anything. In fact, I actually love when people name adorable babies names I have bad associations with, b/c I find that it cures them. Adorable baby Ruby has driven my terrible Great Aunt Ruby associations out of my mind, for which I am grateful.

If it’s just a name I didn’t personally like, AND she asked for an honest opinion, I would probably say something like, “It’s not exactly my style, but I can see why you like it!” But once the baby is born, really no one should say anything. I do think that when people post on this site, they really do tend to be looking for honest opinions though. And sometimes you do want internet strangers to put your chosen name through trial-by-fire to see if it holds up.

I pretty much agree with what everyone else is saying. I don’t talk about names very often with friends, mostly because I don’t like to mention my favorites because I think everyone will hate them. But, a few friends have told me what they’re planning on using for their kids, and what they’ve said has been the same for a few years now, so it’ll probably happen. The names usually aren’t my taste, but I don’t think that matters at all. Just because a name isn’t my particular taste doesn’t mean it isn’t still a great name for them. For instance, my cousin is really bubbly and sweet and popular, she plans on Peyton and Paisley for girls. I wouldn’t choose those names but they’re perfect for her. But she plans on Brian for a first boy, she and her husband both have Br names, and the other boy name is a different style. So the only thing I would comment on is the sibset, and maybe someone would feel left out.

Here’s an instance where I wish I’d told the truth. The husband had a father from a previous relationship, Dawn. Together they have Kaelyn and a dog, Kota. They were throwing around the names Jacob and Owen. I thought Owen would be great because it ended with n like the girls and would tie them together in such a subtle way. I didn’t mention that, though. Then they told me they were choosing Cole. While I love the name, I thought, “Dawn, Kaelyn, Cole and Kota?” Not only will the Ks get confusing to say, Dawn is left out (and my opinion is that you should try to make step children feel included). Well, I didn’t say anything, even though I was thinking about it for months. Lo and behold, when he was a couple months old, the mother was stumbling on their names and she said it never occurred to her before he was born that the all sounded alike! I wish I had said something! But, he makes a great Cole!

I keep opinions to myself because I’ve found that my taste in names tends to be different than most other people I know. I’m not a fan of “Cody” or “Kiara with little sister Kiana” but it’s not my kid. I let it go.

Yeah, absolutely not. If I don’t like a name I keep my mouth shut or say something polite. If I love it I do say so. If it’s something unique or something I’ve never heard I ask where it came from and then I feel like I have to say it’s great because I already opened my mouth about it. If it was a REALLY good friend asking for opinions about multiple names she was trying to narrow the field down on, I would be honest about my own preferences.

This is so subjective. Honestly it is like asking someone if they like a particular dress of peice of art. As the French say, “Chacun a son gout.” Not my style is honestly the most honest response out there, as a name you don’t like is just that–not your style. It doesn’t have something intrinsically wrong with it, aside from not being your taste. So I tend to demur and say oh lovely–when my friends ask–and rarely share my own favorites, as I don’t really care whether someone else likes it or not!

For me, there’s a huge difference between someone asking for opinions/advice about a name and saying “We’ve decided on the baby’s name! Isn’t it great?” The former is an invitation for honesty and the latter is not. But I try to focus on the positive in either case. Now, if they’ve chosen the name Harley for their baby girl and their last name is Davidson, I might be tempted to say something like “Harley Davidson” out loud a couple of times, hoping it will make them realize what a bad combo it is

I have actually never been asked my opinion in real life. Most people tend to be pretty secretive about it, or else just tell you the name but not ask for negative feedback. If specifically asked I would give my honest opinion, but I agree that after the baby is born I would NEVER say anything bad about the name.

If I am asked my opinion I will be (gently) honest. If I am not asked my opinion I keep my mouth shut! And after the baby is born, no WAY would I say anything.

I usually tell them the reasons that the name isn’t my favorite. But I always let them know that if those things don’t bother them and they love that name, then to go for it. I am all for naming your child a name that you love.

I was actually just talking to my pregnant sister-in-law about her name choices and that’s pretty much how it went. I told her I liked the name on it’s own, but don’t like the way it sounds with her last name. Didn’t seem offended at my opinion and she knows that I support her choice. Truth is most of the time she isn’t going to go by her first and last name anyway.

If you can’t say something nice, don’t say nothing at all.

Parents tend to be excited about their name choices, and I generally find that any name thoughtfully chosen after nine months of waiting and bestowed out of love is just fine. (As much as I love names, 95% of them are perfectly adequate.) So as long as the parents are happy, I just smile along with them.

I think it 100% has to do with who is asking me. If its my closet my friend, i will be honest (to an extent; but i dont like the full on blast anyones names) and tell her thats the name is really popular, she is limiting herself with futur children, or having Kendall and Randall are to close. But i have always told anyone that my style of names differs GREATLY from almost anyone elses (besides the berries’). But if i name is simply horrible, horrendous, i would say something. I seem to hit the problem of opinion giving alot because i have such a diffrent taste in names then my friends (One friend wants Spencer (girl), Mykael (boy), and Brayden (boy), and its just isnt my stle at all; nothing is appealing ot me in those names). My friend asked me for an opinion on C/Kayden and i said i didnt like it because it was very popular, spelled incorrectly, and overall not my type of name.

However meeting someone on the streets or a relativily unknown family member i would probably just grin and bare it; unless is was HORRIBLE. And wheni say horrible i mean like sh*thead horrible.

I dont know, really. Sometimes if people are telling me how much they absolutely LOVE this name theyre talking about and I hate it, then they ask me if I like it, i just say “well my favourite name is Donna(it is) and I prefer it but that name is good”.

But if someone specifically askes me for my honest opinion I dont think its fair not to tell them how I really think.

If it’s someone I know, I likely wouldn’t say anything about the name unless I liked it. People generally don’t want a negative opinion anyway.

Once a baby is named, then opinions are off-limits. Before that, I do give an opinion… diplomatically.

If an expectant parent (friend or family member) asks me for my opinion/advice about a name they usually preface the request by telling me why they are considering the name(s). So, with this understanding, I will only provide information they may not know about (such as associations, popularity, trends) to help them in deciding. I will not criticize a name simply because it is not my style or I don’t like it. If I love a name I’ll let them know, and why!

Yes, I am honest.

I will be honest without being hurtful. Right now one of my family members has chosen the name Norman Randell for her soon-to-be-born son. I hate it. But her husband wants to name the baby for his dad and hubby’s middle name is Randell so Norman Randell it will be. When I was asked my opinion I just said that it wasn’t my style. What I really want to say is “why would you do your child that way?”.

if somone was telling me the names they were thinking of for their baby and i didn’t like it, i wouldn’t say anything. however, if they asked me for an opinion, i would just say that i wouldn’t choose it but it’s their baby and up to them. when i named my daughter Beatrice people seemed to either really love it or hate it, and i could tell straight away which one it was without them having to tell me. i think most expectant mother’s just want to test peoples reactions rather than wanting to hear anything negative about the name

People are SOOOO rude!
When I told everyone what I was naming my daughter, they all seemed to think I wanted their opinion: “pick another one”, “there’s no good nickname,” “well, I’ll call her this instead.”
I didn’t tell ANYONE my son’s name, not even the nurse while I was in labor, because I was afraid people would be rude. (Amazingly enough, pregnant women get upset easily!)

My advice: if you’re pregnant, don’t tell: people are rude.
If a pregnant woman talks about baby names:
IF YOU CAN’T SAY ANYTHING NICE, DON’T SAY ANYTHING AT ALL!!

I won’t say anything about almost all names unless the person asks me my opinion on the name. For instance, I hate the trendy name Emersyn, but I wouldn’t say anything about it unless asked, because little Emersyn won’t get teased due to her friends McKinlee and Jaiden’s names being similar. Likewise if someone was planning to name their son Walter, I wouldn’t voice my opinion because it’s a perfectly respectable name although I dislike it. Plus Walter will fit in just fine with his prospective playmates Arthur and Hugo.

So basically, even if I don’t like the name, I’d rarely say anything because the child probably won’t be affected by it.

If a baby is already named, I will never critize a name.
If the name is being considered and my opinion is asked, I will give my honest opinion, but in the nicest way possible along with reminding them that it’s their choice and what I think doesn’t metter.

My most common phrases for names I dislike are “not my style” or “not a fan.” I don’t like to be harsh unless it seems very obvious. For instance, I’d have no trouble telling someone I think Logan is a boy’s name and doesn’t work or a female or that Chastity is a stripper name. However, I do keep all bad opinions to myself after the kid is born. I don’t think its nice to attempt to make someone feel bad about a done deal.

I agree with the majority of the comments.

If a parent-to-be asked me for their opinion on a name I would subtly say my honest opinion. For instance if a mum-to-be wanted to name her child Stella Nevaeh (two names I hate) I would simply say ‘not my cup of tea’ if she asked why, I would only tell her the real reason as to why (the combination sounds like the name of a stripper) if I was particulary close otherwise I’d just shrug and say something along the lines of ‘I dunno really’.

However if Stella Nevaeh was already born than I would simply smile and tell a white lie along the lines of ‘that’s really pretty congratulations!’ while secretly thinking oh crikey that poor child!

This is one of the areas that makes it so hard for a name nerd. We long to give our real opinion but don’t want to offend and in the end our manners take over and we mutter ‘that’s lovely’.

It depends. Unless somebody is planning to do something truly horrible to their child (Nevaeh comes to mind, and even then I’m subtle,) generally speaking I’ll keep my mouth shut, as much as I long to tell them my real opinions. But after birth, I don’t care if they’ve named their child Nevaeh Addison Happy-Land, I’ll just put on a nice (fake) smile and pretend they’re worthy of being a name nerd.

Like others, I’m not often in the position in real life. However, when I am asked I am honest, gently and diplomatically honest. My friend is having a girl, she’s going to name her Hadessah without question. It’s not my style but I found things to like about it and I knew it meant something special to her being biblical. However her choice if she had a boy instead would’ve been Jayden. I despise the name trend, but I just said that it was very trendy, and it may not age well and she should weigh that in when deciding. Then I expressed that I was surprised that she hadn’t also selected a biblical name for a boy like she did for a girl. She loves Samuel but felt it would be too popular. *blinks* Um and Jayden is not??! I hold back a lot, and only offer what I feel is constructive, having been on the rude side of things while I was pregnant and trying to find the right name.

My own mother is one of those people who is almost rude when she doesn’t like a name. So I have gone the other way. I am open, and I try to never be too harsh on any name. There are names I don’t love, but as long as no one is forcing a name on my child, then I am okay with that…If I do love a name, I do gush over it.

Very delicate situation. If asked, I’d say the truth in a polite way, of course. But when names are chosen and just introduced to you.. no reason to comment if you dislike the choice. Just smile. In my case I am not even asking for opinions (3 mo pregnant) and there’s some people (yea in laws) already saying ”If they were me…”
My husband is more conservative and he is actually the one I think more, before choosing a more stylish name… he says ”mmm.. not so sure about this one”.
Then I check it off of my list..

people who know me know that, if asked, i’ll tell you what i really think no matter the subject, so only ask if you want the truth. that being said, there are many names i can see the merit in even if i would never personally use them in a million years, so i really mean it when i say a name is good but “not my style”, but if i outright hate it, i’ll tell you that too.

I met a mother who named her daughter Sadie Sunshine! I was so surprised that I accidentally gave my full out honest opinion: “Wow, those hospital drugs must be better and last longer than moms let on.” I felt a little bad, but who is ever going to take that name seriously?

@rkchance. I went to college with a girl whose first name was Sunshine. So I think Sadie is fine for a girl unless she’s going by Sadie Sunshine all together….that’s a little too happy maybe haha! I read of someone who wanted to name their child Opium…that’s where I would draw the line. I find when I ask others opinions I really just want them to reassure me, so I tend to do the same to other people and agree with everyone on here, and just say it’s not my personal style or choice, unless they need help narrowing it down. But if the initials were a.s.s. or something tease worthy I might mention it.