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  1. #11
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Location
    South Carolina
    Posts
    587
    Four would be my ideal, though I would happily have more if I could afford them. I've always wanted a big family, and four seems like a really manageable number.
    Annie, mid-twenties, vegetarian, name lover. No kids yet, just two furbabies - Roxy & Layla.
    Top favorites for a girl: Beatrice Lily, Charlotte Amelia, Clara Louisa, Eliza Ruby, Josephine Alice, Katherine Annabel, Lillian Audrey, Margaret Helena, Matilda Iris, Philippa Violet
    Top favorites for a boy: Adrian Silas, Alexander Gray, Emmett Oliver, Jasper Milo, Julian Edward, Lucian Henry, Nathaniel August, Samuel Owen, Rowan Felix, Theodore August

  2. #12
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Posts
    4,854
    If my husband went along with it and was happy with the idea, I'd like 4 or so. I have never wanted an only child. My siblings are my best friends, I never disliked having them, I always wanted more brothers and sisters! (Though I wasn't always keen on being the eldest).

    When I was a kid, I never got along very well with only children. Never wanted to have one.

    My husband wanted an only child. We compromised and are currently planning 2 but each is hoping the other will change their mind. I can be okay with two but it seems so small to me.

    I had a brother and a sister growing up, and I didn't think of 3 kids as a big family, big was like 5+, 3-4 was just normal and 2 was small and 1 was lonely.

  3. #13
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Posts
    1,319
    I want four. I grew up wanting three because I found having only one sibling lonely at times as a child. Then seeing my husband with his three brothers made me want four. I am close to my sister and my husband is close to his brothers. I can't imagine being an only child-my sister and I are only a year and 13 days apart so there is no time in our memories where the other wasn't there. There is only five or six years between the oldest and youngest of my husband and his brothers. I definitely would not have more than six though. Six is the "magic" number for me-for whatever reason more than six kids seems like to much for me. I think more than four would be to much for my husband though. I am not concerned about paying for college or buying cars. I believe in children learning responsibility and earning their way through life. Want to go to college? Get good enough grades to get a scholarship and get a job to pay for what the scholarship doesn't cover. Want a car? Get a job to pay for the insurance and be happy with the junker we MAY buy you or save the money for the car you really want.

  4. #14
    catloverd Guest
    I disagree on the college thing... I think parents should be obligated to help their children. I believe they should still get jobs, but if we want them to do good in life, we should help them out. A job only pays so much and I don't want my kids having to live their lives paying off student loans. However, my parents paid for my college and they worked hard, I saw that, and I worked extra hard. I had a job, but they told me my grades were more important and they didn't want work to interfere, so I never worked more than 10 hours a week. My fiance's parents also paid for his college, but they didn't pay for rent, so he still had a student loan as well as a job in order to help pay for a place to live, but it wasn't an outrageous amount and he paid it off within a year.

    And buying a car for each kid is bit ridiculous... they can buy their own, a car isn't important. College is. You can't get a good job these days without a degree.

    But for the 4 kids thing... it could back fire. My cousin's are the same, there are 4 of them, all girls, and they are very close. However, my fiance' is of 4 as well, but he has 3 older sisters. They are somewhat close, but he was often lonely since the girls wanted to play barbies and not legos. He'd have to beg them to play with him. It's kind of sad, he even told me he used to want dolls I'd just be careful that if you want 4, try to keep the genders somewhat equal.... This is why my fiance' defiantly doesn't want 4, he think it's too many, 2-3 is his ideal. I'm very set on having 1.

  5. #15
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Posts
    4,854
    I don't think college is necessary or even beneficial for everyone, that's nonsensical. I see too many kids pushed to do degrees they don't really need or feel a real drive to do.

    My sister had help from family, AND debt, and at the end of it? She wished she had done a trade instead. Her business degree doesn't mean much in this economy without experience - but she still has to pay the loans. College can be a scam, some times, some majors. It scammed her and it scammed our parents.

    She wishes she had done a trade, she'd make more money and she'd have less debt, and she'd be able to work on her own home. College was kind of a very expensive lesson for her, and not in a good way.

    Plenty of my friends paid off their own college after doing the military; they got their degrees in their late 20s when they actually knew what they wanted to do instead of having to take a guess in highschool. They also worked harder as students than the young kids who just want to have fun without parental supervision.

    I'd help my kids somewhat, anyway, as far as home cooked meals and if they want to live at home awhile while studying, etc. but parents owing their kids a free ride at college? Nnnot really, sorry. I don't believe its wise to have grown kids who believe they have some sort of heaven-sent right to accrue debt and their parents will cover it.

    As far as can't get a good job without a degree, sometimes you can't even get a job with a degree, and not all degrees are created equal. A college degree is the furthest thing from ensured employment, as I would think this recession would show.

  6. #16
    catloverd Guest
    I never said parents were obligation to pay debt. Maybe I didn't say it very well, my fiance' did have loans to pay for his living expenses, but HE paid it off within a year, not his parents. It wasn't very much. Everyone has different views on whether or not pay for their kid's college. And hey, what if you don't, what if your kid decides to live in your basement? Be one of those 30 year olds still living with his mom? Honestly that happens because they can't afford college and so they stay home, and as a parent you don't really want to kick your child on the street....

    This is my opinion and I because it worked out well for my fiance' and I, I am fine with paying for my child's college. I feel bad for the those whose parents can't/don't help them out. If you can't afford your kids education, then I personally think you shouldn't have had them or so many.

    This economy is not the great, but with a degree you have better chance at getting a job, any job. I have a cousin who is dead broke, her fiance' is working at Walmart, and she can't get a job at all because she has no degree and there just aren't any jobs available, not even a fast food position. She applied to EVERYTHING.

    I don't want my kid going through that. But we are getting off topic and this is MY opinion and you don't have to agree.

  7. #17
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    Saskatchewan, Canada
    Posts
    1,822
    I want 2 for sure, maybe 3. When I was younger I wanted 5, but that changed as my cousins started having kids.

    I'm an only child and I hate it, I don't like never having anyone to talk to anyone to look out for me etc... My mom is an only child and same with my maternal grandmother.
    I had a sister 2 years older but she died before I was born. I always find myself thinking "what would my sister have told me".
    I want my children to grow up with a sibling.
    Auntie to Connor Douglas (2012), Parker Isabella (2013), & Hunter Donald (2016)

    ~*Ariadne*Celeste*Eilis*Deirdre*Linnéa*~
    ~*Everett*Julian*Nathaniel*Sterling*Truitt*~

    I believe that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you've learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated.

    (Not currently expecting or TTC)

  8. #18
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Posts
    1,319
    I don't agree. College degrees are absolutely not a necessity. Learning a trade is far more beneficial in life. To each their own view though. As to keeping the "genders equal", that's also nonsense, no offense. I was a girl who had no interest in Barbie but loved cars and trucks and comic books and "boy" things. My friends wanted to play Barbie though so guess what? I played Barbie. There's nothing sad about a boy wanting a doll. What is sad is that there are people who thinks a boy <gasp> shouldn't play with dolls. I got my nephew a baby doll when his mom was expecting their second. Now the second nephew loves that baby doll. Keep the genders somewhat equal, seriously? <shaking my head in disbelief> I'll be sure to get that baby doll from my nephew before it scars him for life, though I'll literally have to rip it from his hands. <that was sarcasm, except the part about ripping it from his hands as that is what it would take> I'll just let my kids BE KIDS, whether I have two or 12. Do what you will with your own.

  9. #19
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Posts
    434
    I will be happy with any, but I'd love at least 3.
    Baby Hernández is due Nov. 22!!

  10. #20
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Posts
    100
    Mmm, I always thought more than four seemed like a madhouse of things going on! Of course, it suits some peoples life styles. And kudos to any lady who can keep up with it all and not lose her marbles!! But I myself know I'd go kooky with so much to do <3

    As for the college and cars thing... I think its different for a lot of people. I myself know I wont buy my child a car. I will most definitely help to the best of my ability at the time and I will let my child use my car! But just flat out buying one.. eh. If I happen to have more than one child, I would try and buy a car for them to share. My bff had that as a situation, and it seemed to work out nicely. The father bought one car that each of his kids were allowed to use [there was 3 of them].
    But for college.. its different for each child. I am not going to pay for my childs college if he/she's obvious only intention is partying. A college education is expensive, and if my child was there to party it'd be a waste of my funds. However, if my child is really trying, and really interests in going to school, I would definitely do my best to help. Especially after the situation I went through. My parents made it clear they weren't going to pay a penny of my schooling [though they did pay ALL of my older brothers school which is another story]. I made fairly good grades, all A's and B's except one C. I paid for duel enrollment in highschool so I could enter college being halfway done my freshmen year of highschool. I got a job when I was fourteen and started a savings account [though my mom hasn't been willing to pay for my meals since I started working, nor clothing, so its always been a bit harder to save. The rest of my money went into the duel enrollment classes which are much cheaper than college courses but still way expensive]. So when I graduated high school.. there was no way for me to go to college. All the four year schools were WAY above my head and community colleges required having a car which I didn't have for a while. And now that I have one, and a place to live, and a job and such, I'm just not so interested in going. It was a real bummer after spending so much time learning Chinese, even paying a few grand in college courses for it, to not be able to go to college for it. There was just no possible way for me to afford it. And scholarships... laugh my butt off. Me and my best friends spent HOURS and days filling out application after application, not a single one pulled through. Heck, my best friend was in ALL honors classes and did the best classes her school offered and she didn't really get much either. And when I went to the school I was accepted into about student aid, they only offered a mere 6,000. This school was above 60,000 a year. So my college dreams were crushed. I could still go to a community college now, but none offer Chinese..
    However, you don't necessarily NEED college to move on in life. There has actually been an increase of people not going to college. With the economy the way it is a lot of people want to hire people they don't have to pay as much. And as for 30 year old living in my basement... its not going to happen. If my child decides not to go to college, they will have to pay rent to live in my home. And they can only stay for so long. Not to be unloving, but its just not a way to live, being a parasite like that. I have family like that and its sad. I would definitely help find an apartment if they need some help. I am hoping I can raise my children right though, to have a motivation to do at least SOMETHING. I wouldn't mind my child living at home for a while if they were working or in school, and if they were really trying to move forward but were unable to leave just yet.


    No kids are equal, all will just do as they please really. I'll love my kiddo whether he or she plays with whatever! You can't plan genders, and can only plan amounts to a certain degree. So I'm just going to have however many suits what I feel is right at the moment. I'm sure my children will learn to get along if I raise them right, even if they are entirely different people. My boys can play with barbies, my girls with trucks and lego's. Or both. Me myself, I always had Barbies and G.I. Joe's. My barbies always married G.I. Joe lol, and drove away into the distance in Barbies remote control pink corvette convertible. LOL! My brothers even played that with me when I was little... the remote control car was always a big hit. I loved lego's, I loved trucks, I loved dolls. Well rounded
    Waiting to TTC!! <3

    If I had a baby right now...
    Roman Connor or Amelia Piper

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