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  1. #16
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Firstly, I am sending "pregnant" prayers your way. I really hope you are pregnant.
    If you are not, I would suggest a trip to your doctor for advice.
    You may be eligible to meet with a fertility expert. They will see you after as little as 6 months of trying to conceive without a pregnancy- especially if you are over 30. Sometimes there are very simple reasons for the disappointing results that can be easily tweaked.

    Phoebe Eliza Grace arrived after 2 Years of IVF

  2. #18
    Hi Harrietemily,

    For what it's worth, I totally had out-of-the-blue insomnia when I was first pregnant with my son. It was my first sign that something was....different. (I didn't realize I was pregnant yet, thought I was going nuts.) Fingers crossed for you!

    And I got pregnant, age 37, the month after going off the pill, no problems, after being on for ....gosh, so many years I can't even remember.

    To answer your labor and delivery questions -- which are NOT silly, it's a major life-event that no one really talks about (except perhaps at baby showers):

    1. I've heard that it's so much easier to squat too. I didn't get to find out if that was true, b/c medical issues meant I had to have a hospital birth, induced, IV in my arm the whole time, mostly on my back, for a 48-hour labor. I hope you get your home birth. But if it doesn't work out, don't worry -- being on your back is not awful. So long as you have a doctor or midwife you really trust and who will listen to you, you'll be okay.

    And once they hand you your baby, I promise you won't care so much about s/he came into this world -- just grateful that he/she is finally here.

    I totally second the suggestion that you watch "The Business of Being Born," it's amazingly educational. But don't feel like you're failing something if you can't, in the end, do the mid-wife, all-natural thing.

    2. Can you liken labour pains to anything? Is it literally just like very, very intense menstrual cramps?

    Yes -- way super intense, full body cramps. Sorry to say this, but it hurts like h*ll. Or it did for me. (I had buckets of pitocin in my system due to the induction, however, so -- it may be less so for a natural birth.)

    3. Once you get to pushing, it's something of a relief -- and less painful, I thought. More pressure than pain.

    4. I know that your bones move around when you're about to give birth, which is part of the pain. Can you actually feel that? It sounds really scary!

    NO! Didn't feel such a thing AT ALL. And never talked to anyone who has either. Cross that off your list of worries, I don't think it'll happen.

    5. If you had them, did gas & air help you very much? And are epidurals very painful?

    I did have an epidural around hour 40, and I felt like such a failure at the time, but in the end I was grateful to have it. It was not remotely painful to have. It did not keep me from feeling the baby being born, or drug the baby, or permanently damanage my spine, or any of those scary things you hear and read about. It was a huge relief, it allowed me to actually enjoy the rest of my son's birth, and it may have saved me from having to have a C section -- b/c I was finally able to rest after almost two sleepless days of contractions, and therefore I had enough strength to push that baby out.

    6. Do they allow you to keep the baby in the room with you or do they keep it in the maternity ward nursery, which seems to be how they do it in movies?

    I think this depends on the hospital. If you can, find out the different policies at the different hospitals in your area. Ask women who gave birth there. I had a hospital that offered rooming-in if you wanted it, and were very respectful of my wish that my son not be given bottles in his earliest days. We had to drive a bit to get to that hospital, but I feel like it was totally worth it.

    Great good luck you!! It's such a wonderful adventure you're going on -- and it just keeps getting better. (My son is 2 now, and he brings more joy into our lives, every single day, than I could have possibly imagined before he was born.)

  3. #20
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Thank you moms for answering these questions, and to harrietemily for asking them! I hope you're preggo! And just go get the test! I would never be able to just wait! I also have these fears about childbirth even though I want to have 5 kids. I have never even considered a home birth before but after your comments, I will definitely look into it. Thank you!
    Baby Hernández is due Nov. 22!!

  4. #22
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    With my first pregnancy, it took me quite some time. That was in my first marriage. We tried for 16 months or so.

    After we divorced, I eventually remarried and got pregnant while dating my second husband. We weren't trying at all. We were careless one night and I got pregnant. I was shocked, to say the least, because I'd never imagined that I wouldn't need any assistance to get pregnant again. It was a great surprise. We had already bought a house together, so the commitment level was there, we just weren't expecting it.

    I just got pregnant with my third child. We were planning to start officially trying next month. This month, we were using the rhythm method and stopped having sex on day 10 of my cycle. Well, lo and behold, I'm pregnant. So, I guess my husband and I have pretty strong chemistry together!

  5. #24
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    As for your original question, I stopped taking bc in September and became pregnant in November. I think I had 2 periods.

    1. Once I got to the hospital the absolute LAST thing I wanted to do was lay down on my back. I seriously begged the midwives to let me get up but they had to monitor the babies' vitals before they would let me up. After 40 (I think) excruciating minutes I was able to stand up and lean on my husband and I was much more comfortable. I had planned to have an epidural but when they told me it would be 90 more minutes of laying down I skipped it and just took the gas instead. I was that opposed to laying down!

    2. The best way I can describe it was my abdomen getting very very tense and hard.

    3. Definitely the most painful part for me was pushing the first baby's head out. And it is weird, but as I was going through it, even though it was my first time giving birth, my body instinctively knew it was the worst part and that if I could just make it through the next few minutes it would all get easier. (I have to say though, I was in early labor for about a month and that was pretty miserable. I was HUGE as I was having twins- and being that uncomfortable with no specific end in sight was really really hard for me. That might have been just as bad as the active labor, maybe worse. I certainly remember it better which doesn't help.)

    4. I didn't feel anything like this. I know your hips shift around a lot beforehand. That caused me considerable trouble when trying to sleep from about week 12 on. I couldn't feel them moving, but their new positions were uncomfortable and it made sleeping on my side quite painful.

    5. I am not sure how much the nitrous oxide helped but it did give me something to focus on during the contractions. I was gripping it so tight for so many hours that I ended up with temporary nerve damage in my hand though!

    6. I am sure where they keep the baby depends on the baby's needs and the mother's health as well as the normal practices where you live. We live in Sweden and from the time they were born both boys never left our sight. All four of us shared a room in the maternity ward together. However, they told us ahead of time that if there was a problem with either baby to expect that my husband would follow him to wherever he would be taken for special care.
    Mama to my boys, the 'twinadoes', and a little Tingeling.

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