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  1. #1

    Surnames in complicated families?

    Hi there,

    Was just wondering what you all thought about the idea of changing surnames of children in families with complicated parentage... For example, myself and my twin boys from a previous relationship have a different surname from dh, our son and his son from a previous relationship. We are now expecting a daughter who will have dh's surname. I kept my maiden name when we got married originally so the twins wouldn't feel our little family group hadn't changed... Now we are gelled as a whole unit (all be it a complicated one!), I'm now wondering whether to change it to dh's and poss the twins too. What do you think?

    Thanks, Sarah

  2. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2011

    Re: Surnames in complicated families?

    So you and your twins are named "Smith." Your DH, his son, the son you guys have together, and your future daughter are named "Jones?"

    Could you hyphenate? So instead of changing the "family" your just combining it into one.
    Mom to Isaiah to Zachariah

  3. #5

    Re: Surnames in complicated families?

    I have a family member with the same situation. She ended up hyphenating the last name for herself.

  4. #7
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Pensacola, Florida

    Re: Surnames in complicated families?

    When I married, I didn't take my husband's last name. I remained Owen; he remained his name. Our children were hyphenated, with my name first. When we moved to Canada, this was no big deal. Many children had hyphenated names. However, when my children and I moved to Florida, it became a big deal. Many computer databases couldn't take a hyphenated last name and the kids' names ended up in these weird versions, even though both kids have Social Security cards and passports with the correctly hyphenated name. And people insisted on calling me Mrs S, instead Ms O, because my kids were O-S.

    Ultimately, my daughter has decided to stick it out. My son, however, has changed his last name to solely mine. In a way this is nice, because my father was an only child, and he had four daughters. But my ex would have a cow if he knew.

    Ultimately, you need to do whatever will make you all happy. And try not to be irritated as much as I have been when computers do weird things, lol.

  5. #9
    Join Date
    Mar 2011

    Re: Surnames in complicated families?

    I'd say it depends a little on your twins relationship with their father. My niece and nephew kept their father's last name after my sister remarried and had children with her new husband. It's never seemed to cause any problems with them. My husband, on the other hand, was given his father's last name, while his mother, brother and sister had a different one. He never had much contact with his own father, and always resented that he'd been given his name. He changed it to his mother's maiden name when he turned 18. Are your twins old enough to express a preference? Family names are a very emotional issue for a lot of people. Personally, I wouldn't make any changes to the children's surnames until they're old enough for input.

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