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  1. #1

    Family middle name vs. chosen middle name?

    Is it ok to have some of your children with a family name for a middle name and some children (or even just the one child?) with a middle name chosen because you like it? Do you think it could ever cause an issue?

    Just thinking along the lines of if, for example, you had 4 girls but didn't have enough female family members you wanted to recognise for their middle names. So the elder two had a family middle name and the later two had a name of your choice? This is, of course, presuming you want to name any of your children after family.

    My thoughts are that I would prefer them all to be the same, but really you don't want to name them after people for the sake of it??

  2. #3

    Re: Family middle name vs. chosen middle name?

    I think it depends on the situation. If the kids with family middle names grow up hearing stories of their namesake, the one other will probably feel left out. I think in that situation though you wouldn't want to have a meaningless namesake either. I would probably just use a middle name with a good meaning that I could tell the child about.
    If the middle names of most of the kids are namesakes, but aren't really mentioned ever, I don't think the other kid without a namesake would feel left out.

  3. #5
    Join Date
    Apr 2011

    Re: Family middle name vs. chosen middle name?

    This is a very interesting subject for me. My parents some how found a way to name me after EVERYONE in my family. Then when my sister was born they had to actually choose a name. So while I have a long list of family members I'm named after my sister has a long list of names they considered for her. We both have stories to tell with our names. Its ok that they're different stories

  4. #7

    Re: Family middle name vs. chosen middle name?

    The reason I ask is that I think namesakes should be amazing people who you want your children to follow in the footsteps of. And these are close family members for me. As a result of this I only have two such female names but I don't think I'm willing to just give another family member this honour just to make up the numbers. (Not that I'm short on decent female family, I just want particularly special people for my children to be named after).

    I have a family middle name, as does one of my siblings but our other sibling doesn't. As far as I'm aware the comparison has never been mentioned, although my brother and I are well aware where our names are from. I must ask them about this actually! On the other hand, I have an aunt who has a chosen name, despite most of her siblings having family names. She feels shortchanged by this although I feel this is more to do with her personality.

    I'm in two minds and have been for a while. Part of me thinks that I would be annoyed if I was left out from family naming but then isn't it equally special to have a name chosen specifically for you because your parents liked it?

  5. #9
    Join Date
    Jan 2010

    Re: Family middle name vs. chosen middle name?

    I would try to give the "left out" kids middle names that referenced personal heroes of yours or something. The name doesn't have to be a family name but I think it should be meaningful. (My daughter doesn't have a family name as a middle name but her first name is intentionally similar to my grandma's. Grandma is Carmelina and my daughter is Magdalena. I actually love my grandma's name but my husband doesn't.)

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