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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Aug 2010

    What age gap is best?

    I know these questions have no true answers and everyone will have different opinions, but I'm just curious to hear of different experiences and opinions.
    What age gap is best between children? (for the parents and the kids)

    When I was younger I always saw myself having a big family, all close in age. But now I am pregnant and I can't imagine going though all this too many more times!!!
    My husband still wants a big family (3 plus) and I have just got thinking about how long we should wait untill trying for number two.
    Also, what number of kids do you think is best? How many is too many? (I know this depends on the person, but what is your personal opinion)
    I know that these things just happen when they are meant to... but I can't help but be curious and want to plan a little!
    Proud Mum of Maximilian Charles, Felix James and Harold William.

  2. #3
    jayjoh Guest

    Re: What age gap is best?

    My partner and I have been planning on having a big family since we got together eighteen years ago...our plans haven't changed, and we're expecting our fourth and fifth (and our last) in January. Our three children are each about two years apart from each other in age, so our oldest girl is four years older than our youngest, and will be almost eight years older than our twins. I worry about how Mia will react to the twins, and how their relationship will be, because she is much closer with Zach than with Laura. I imagine their relationships and interactions will shift around as time goes on, but right now in our family the age gap between the girls is very apparent, and I'm guessing it will stay that way.

    But, of course, a smaller age gap is also lots more difficult on us as parents - it's very hard to care for a toddler and an infant at the same time, especially in terms of a first-born having an infant sibling for the first time.

  3. #5
    Join Date
    Nov 2009

    Re: What age gap is best?

    I have heard that less than 2 yrs or more than 4 yrs is ideal for sibling adjustment. It makes sense because if the elder child is under two when his sibling is born, he will never remember being the only child and thus have no feelings of being 'usurped,' whereas a child older than four will have had plenty of time as the baby and hopefully WANT a younger sibling. Two years seems to be the average gap between most of my friends' children and, honestly? They seem pretty crazed! I would like 3 or 4 kids, but I know myself, I do NOT thrive on chaos, so I think mine will be around 4 years apart. I also teach 3-4 yr olds, and this seems like a great age to add another one. They are much more independent and you don't have to watch them QUITE so carefully.
    As for when they get older, I think personality matters more than age. I know some siblings who are very close in age but very distanced from each other, and wide-spaced siblings who are really close.

  4. #7

    Re: What age gap is best?

    I guess it depends on the family and whether or not you and your family could handle say, two kids in diapers. With my family, my oldest sister and my older brother are roughly 14 months apart. I was born on my brother's 6th birthday, and my next youngest sister can about a year and a half later. My youngest sister came six years after me. So we are pretty spaced. I think big families are great, if you can support a large family. I plan to have at least six or seven kids, with some adopted. I think I want my kids at least a year or two apart, one after another. I think it is important for sibs to be close, because sibs are forever.

  5. #9
    Join Date
    May 2010

    Re: What age gap is best?

    Well I can tell you that 10 months apart is not a great idea! Morning sickness and a 2 month old baby is not a fun combination... From everything I've been told though, when they get older the small age gap is a good thing. I suppose it means we get 2 lots of nappies etc. over in the same time... Anyway will let you know how we get on!

    Rachel x

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