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  1. #11
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Posts
    103

    Re: What age gap is best?

    I don't actually have any kids but my brother is 19 months older than me and my sister is two years younger and I've always gotten on well with my brother but me brother and I would gang up on our sister! :twisted:
    Caulfield, Sigourney

  2. #13
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Posts
    9,656

    Re: What age gap is best?

    I have wondered about the 'right' age gap between one's children for about 30 years. At first I thought it didn't matter. I felt it would be nice for siblings to almost like twins about a year apart. My friends in the main had their children two years apart and most of them had two children.

    Fast forward to today, and I have watched my grandchildren spaced two years apart and my opinion now is that two years apart is way too soon to bring another sibling into the family. I have noticed how the first child is almost desperate for more attention despite the fact that they do get their share.

    As a first child (of three) I think that I always felt as if I deserved more attention than my siblings and I got loads of attention from my adoring father. In truth we siblings probably got an even share of attention but really I can't remember that detail.

    I think that there is big trend today towards having three children and I don't approve of three children as I experienced that one child in the family is left out. I did not have any sibling rivalry issues (that was my sister) but the idea that when you have three children that you will get them all interacting and playing wonderfully together is imo a fallacy. I think that comes down to the personalities of the children and I think that there will be two who just like to be in each other's company more than their other sibling's company.

    To summarise I think that a gap of 3 years is good and up to 4 years and then the connection between the siblings seems to fade a little as they go their different ways eg preschool and school.

    I think I like one child families too, and I can hear mostly everyone saying, "Shock, horror!" but I have met some very well grounded only children and they didn't feel the need for a sibling.

    rollo

    PS It horrifies me to see so many people waiting till their late thirties (through choice) till they have their first child. I can imagine how awful it would be to have a 21 year old in my sixties. Believe me at 60 you do not want the stresses and strains that teenagers and young adults bring into a family!
    Psalm 23

  3. #15

    Re: What age gap is best?

    I'm not sure what age gap is the best. I remember there were these two girls I grew up with who were the coach's daughters. They were just over a year apart in age and seemed to get along really well. I was a little jealous that I didn't have a sister to share clothes with and talk to. My little brother and I are three years apart and since girls mature faster than boys it seemed like more than three years. My brother and I weren't that close.

    I personally believe that having a huge family is selfish because fast population growth increases pollution, which makes everyone sick. It also uses up natural resources faster, which leads to war. Having a big family also means that you have less time to spend with each member of your family, which can sometimes mean that some members aren't getting the attention that they need to work through life's challenges. Then there's the obvious issue of money. People always say that money doesn't buy happiness. But the truth is that having enough money to live comfortably and safely reduces stress, which has been shown to prolong life. I'm not saying that everyone needs to have a beach house to be stress free; but it would be nice if every family member could at least have medical, dental, and healthy food to eat.

    My dad came from a family of 9 siblings. He was the second oldest. He has a lot of stories about how the family had to struggle to make enough money to feed everyone. His dad worked 3 jobs. It sounded like a stressful life for everyone - especially the parents. My grandpa used to count grandchildren as if it was some kind of reproductive competition between him and his cousins.

    My husband is an only child and because of this his parents had enough money to pay for all the little non-essential things like: braces, music tutors, pets, etc. They also had enough money to pay for some expensive colleges, which has paid off because he has a really good job now doing what he always wanted to do with great benefits. They say that only children don't like conflict, which I take as a positive because he never wants to argue with me about dumb stuff. He's a really cool guy and I'm glad that his parents worked so hard to enrich him as a child.

    We want to have either one or two children depending on how much money we have. I'm on a hunt for the perfect name since I may only get one chance.

  4. #17
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Posts
    7

    Re: What age gap is best?

    My second child will be born when my son is 18 months. My brother and I were 17 months apart and I always thought it was a good gap. We plan to have 3 or 4 kids.
    Mom to Jude William with #2 due in August

  5. #19
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Location
    United States
    Posts
    912

    Re: What age gap is best?

    I have an 11 year old, a 2 year old, and an 8 month old. My oldest is from a previous marriage. My younger 2 are 23 months apart. It was hard being pregnant while still nursing and overall harder being pregnant with a 1 year old to take care of. My younger 2 (both boys) are already so close and I think they will always be the best of friends. They adore each other and are close enough in age that they will be able to (hopefully) share toys, activities, and interests. It is hard though with a toddler and an infant. Some days I think I want a 4th and others I am ready to have my tubes tied :-) If we decide to have another, I will wait til my baby is done nursing. I am leaning towards having another because if I have one more I know I'll never regret it. If I don't have another, I can see myself looking back when the kids are all grown wishing I had just one more. Four would be my limit though.

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