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  1. #6

    Re: What age gap is best?

    I just had my second and my first daughter is four and a half. When I was pregnant she didn't seem very interested and didn't want to have anything to do with preparing for the new baby. But now her baby sister is here she is so excited! She wants to be a part off everything and has been doing dances for her sister while she sleeps!
    I think a gap of about 4 or 5 years is good because the older child can be involved and look out for the younger one, but isn't so old that they want nothing to do with the baby and feel like a second mother.
    I do, however, think it is importent for kids to have others of a similar age around them when they are younger. My daughter had two cousins born within a year of her, so she has grown up with them like a brother and sister (except I didn't have to worry about changing all their nappies and putting them to sleep!!)
    I can see the appeal in having them close together and admire the people who do! Personally I don't think I am cut out for it, but maybe you are!

    I was like you and imagined having 3 or 4 kids with 1-2 years between each of them, but after my first I realised it wouldn't work out for me in reality. After you've had your first I think you will be able to get a better idea of what will be best for you
    Sorry if that was a bit of a ramble that didn't make sesne... I blame it on baby brain :lol:

  2. #8
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Posts
    800

    Re: What age gap is best?

    Well I'm on my first pregnancy, so I might change my mind once I actually have kids, but right now we're planning on four at about two years apart. I'm about to have twins, and we'll almost certainly have a third, but we would both like four since that's how our families were, but four is definitely the max for us. Short gaps were how my family did it: my oldest brother, my twin brothers, and then me all about two years apart, and I've always been very close with my brothers. My husband's family started that way. His oldest sister, two years then the next sister, two years and then him, and that was supposed to be it, although ten years later the ended up with another daughter when their other children we're 14, 12, and 10.

    He's said that his youngest sister never really felt like a sister to him, and while he loves her, she always felt like a cousin that just never went home, and his other sisters felt similarly. But now that she's in middle school and getting older they're starting to develop a better relationship with her, and I'm sure she'll eventually feel like an equal. So with that, we're not wanting to have a very big gap between kids.

    As far as the number, I can see the appeal of not having very many kids. It would make raising them a lot easier, but I love the family dynamic that comes with a lot of kids, especially when the kids are adults. I think that will be worth they years we'll feel harried by several young children in the house.
    Mother of Theodore Atlas and Katherine Juno
    Teddy and Kitty

    http://www.babynames.com/namelist/9783054

  3. #10
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Posts
    266

    Re: What age gap is best?

    In a couple months my kids will be 12, 7, 4, and newborn. So that is 5 years, 3 years and then 4 years apart. My youngest was always potty trained before the next one came along and fully capable of getting dressed and grabbing a juice box outta the fridge or whatever. Independant I guess. All my kids get along great. My oldest ( a son) is a big help!! Also My 7 year old daughter will be great with the new baby. I like that they wont be starting university one right after another too. Financially I like them being spaced about 4 years. I like to have only 1 really dependant child at one time so I dont get burned out. While the baby sleeps I can just do dishes, read or whatever (have some me time) and the older kids can play or whatever. they are not the kinda kids that are always bugging me. They are great at occupying themselves which I love. We can go outside and I can sit and breatfeed and I know the other kids are old enough to play safely and run around the yard (we are on an acerage) without me right behind them.

  4. #12
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Posts
    136

    Re: What age gap is best?

    Hi again everyone,
    Thanks for the advice! It's been a while sinse I've been on here!
    I agreed with a lot of the advice on here and was leening towards waiting a few years before trying for a second.... but lets just say that didn't go to plan!!!
    My son will be about 13 months when his brother or sister arrives!!!!
    I beleive everything happens for a reason, so I guess this is meant to be!!
    Proud Mum of Maximilian Charles, Felix James and Harold William.

  5. #14
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    US
    Posts
    27

    Re: What age gap is best?

    It's nice for kids to have someone close to their age to relate to and play with. It's much easier with two in similar age ranges. I have a 5 year old and a 3 year old, and twins on the way. However, with our daughter we didn't know what to expect and she was never one to be alone. She'd throw fits if we left, and then we adopted our second one when she was two and it made it so much easier!

    Let's see how they get along with the girls!
    Mum to: Shiloh Clementine Mae, Deveandra 'Dev' Jasper Milo, Penelope 'Pippa' Esme Emilia, and Aviva 'Viv' Sania Evangeline

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