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  1. #11
    @kiriko Thank you for your input! I appreciate you sharing your story with me! Maternity leave in the U.S. is disgraceful. Luckily, I have found a career that I love, my husband and I own our house- Yes, we could afford to save up some more money but, ultimately, we've decided to start trying now and see what happens! I know that I can handle it if it were to happen right away and I were still in school. I only have four months left of graduate school and in the meantime plan to pursue another job. I know it won't be easy but I know I can do it if it came down to it! I'm stronger than what I give myself credit for, just like all of you have been able to share your strengths with me!

  2. #12
    Join Date
    Apr 2019
    Posts
    20
    My husband and I spent 3 years ttc. I had massive baby fever most of the time.

    The first time we ever made love I thought that we were pregnant. I was so excited to take the test, a little nervous about possibly being pregnant so early in our relationship and went to my sisters house and took the test. I was so deflated when it came back negative. I still felt off so I took another one a week later and still negative.

    I took the second test and showed it to my then boyfriend, now husband, and he said that he was sad but would have been excited had it been positive.

    We had just moved in together to a new city, 4 hours away from most of our family, and were in new jobs. The timing would not have been great.

    When we formally started trying I had so many negatives after about 4 months we stopped thinking about the future every time, until we got a positive result. We stopped worrying about the what if’s and realized that a baby was priority #1 and that everything else would fall into place.

    I had to stop thinking about the future. Thinking about the what if’s was just too much stress. That was also not helping.

    What I can say to you is if you want your baby you can make it work. It’s amazing how things work out and if they don’t, you have 9 months or so to work on things. If we all waited until we were financially secure I don’t think anyone would have kids.

    I’m not American so I can’t say anything about maternity leave there but I suggest that you save a bit. The nicest upside to our ttc journey was that for every negative test we would put money into savings and over the years it afforded us a financial cushion that helped with the blow of a Mat leave payment a lot lower than my regular salary.

    I wish you luck in your ttc journey.

  3. #13
    Join Date
    Nov 2018
    Posts
    271
    Why not just wait until after graduation. It is only a few months. That gives you the opportunity to finish study etc. After graduation, it would be a good time to try with some of the pressure off. You might even have a new job by then.

  4. #14
    For us we went ahead and had a baby and so far it stressful at times but it’s worked out. Other people I know have waited and that’s worked for them. Like other people have said there’s no perfect time there’s always going to be something to stress you out.

    Our story...when I got pregnant I was the main bread winner in our home working as an SLPA as my husband finished prereq’s for ophthalmology school. We lived for 3 months off my accrued sick leave (I was not qualified for maternity leave even though I was a full time employee....🙄) then made the tough decision that at the end of my husbands semester I would quit and he would take over financial responsibility for our home. Which was terrifying as I had a stable income and at the time I bought I had a pretty stable job with good benefits, and the way it worked we were both jobless for a month or two. Which is scary with a little baby. But we had a plan and back up plans if our plan didn’t work out and we took the risk. And that’s where we are now, my husbands working as he’s studying to go on to get his doctorate.

    I guess my point is, there’s always going to be something you just have to decide what is going to be important for you, and generally if you think you can handle it, you can.
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