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  1. #1

    Do you overlook the apparent flaws of a name?

    There are SO many names that I like, that have positive connotations that are almost all also ruined by negative connotations of the name.

    I'm always surprised by the amount of names people like on this website that it makes me wonder whether people just overlook the negative connotations to a name they like, in order to have a list of names you like at all.

    Mostly for me other people will have ruined names that I already like... and it makes wonder how this doesn't *seem* to be the case for most users on this website, but I wonder if that's biased seeing as the people on this website are more likely to be passionate about names and therefore more likely to 'overwrite' negative influences with positive ones?

    Does anyone else understand what I mean/ relate at all?

    Sorry if i'm not making much sense. It's just I am very surprised by the amount of names that people like on this website given I don't even have a favourite name because all the names I like have been ruined in some way.

    Thank you!

    P.s. feeling a bit down about names!
    Last edited by ferix08; August 14th, 2019 at 08:34 AM.

  2. #3
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Location
    United States
    Posts
    3,342
    Eh, I think it is just very subjective. There are often personal tastes, cultural considerations, and so on at play. Additionally, I think it depends on the type of negative association. Some people are willing to ignore the fact that their childhood bully also carried a name they love, while others just can't shake the connection to an ex lover, and vice versa. Oh, also, a lot of users on this site get really into the history and meanings of names, so can find beauty in a name that means more to them than whatever tainted the name.

    Personally, it is kind of easy for me to find a large amount of names that I like. I live in a small town, where people have rather common names. I happen to like names that don't necessarily fit that mold, so I don't have to worry about my child sharing a name with someone I have a problem with. Anyhow, to better answer the question in the title, I can overlook the flaws in a name if it means that much to me or my husband. Again, though, it depends on what happened to cause that flaw.

    I hope all of that makes sense...I'm running on like no sleep right now lol
    Alyssa

    Elim Nathaniel James due Feb 2020 <3

    "Beauty begins the moment you decide to be yourself"~ Coco Chanel

  3. #5
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    1,741
    I guess it depends how big of an association you mean?

    Alice is mine and my partner's top girls name, mutual decision, we both love it.
    It's also the name of my sister's best friend (who goes by a different, unrelated, nickname), some princesses, Alice in Wonderland, and a character on a TV show we both love (she's a psychopath who murders her parents, but my partner loves her). Firstly, to an extent my Alice would be named after the psychopath... but all the other associations are either neutral or vaguely positive, so I don't mind them? I don't love Alice in Wonderland, but it's not a *bad* association. So I guess I am overlooking some of the associations, but I don't think any of them are terrible.

    Then there's Isaac, also very high on my list. It's got lots of associations: Biblical, Computer Game, the next door neighbours 7 year old etc. And the only one of those that is close to putting me off is the neighbour, and even then I'm not *that* fussed.

    I think it would depend greatly on what the negative association was. But for the most part all of the names are my list are names I both like and have some vaguely-positive or neutral associations with. I don't think I have any truly *bad* associations with any of them, otherwise they wouldn't be on my list!
    Hufflepuff. PhD Student. Cat Lover.
    Alice Marigold *Liora* | Lucas Avery *Ya'ir* | Eliza Beatrice *Yehudit* | Isaac Sebastian *Lavan*

    Dearest, Darling
    Eira Solstice * Annabeth Willow * Ivy Claire * Cynthia Mairead *
    Cleo Adelaide * Freya Naomi * Mira Frances * Rhea Juliet *

    Sweet, My Love
    * Simon Alexander * Oscar William * Everett Morgan * Spencer Milo
    * Benedict Lewis * Rory James * George Russell * Hugo Timothy

  4. #7
    Quote Originally Posted by namergirl3 View Post
    Eh, I think it is just very subjective. There are often personal tastes, cultural considerations, and so on at play. Additionally, I think it depends on the type of negative association. Some people are willing to ignore the fact that their childhood bully also carried a name they love, while others just can't shake the connection to an ex lover, and vice versa. Oh, also, a lot of users on this site get really into the history and meanings of names, so can find beauty in a name that means more to them than whatever tainted the name.

    Personally, it is kind of easy for me to find a large amount of names that I like. I live in a small town, where people have rather common names. I happen to like names that don't necessarily fit that mold, so I don't have to worry about my child sharing a name with someone I have a problem with. Anyhow, to better answer the question in the title, I can overlook the flaws in a name if it means that much to me or my husband. Again, though, it depends on what happened to cause that flaw.

    I hope all of that makes sense...I'm running on like no sleep right now lol
    That does make sense, thank you This is reassuring to me; I had just guessed that people didn't have very many negative associations with names, but I think the reality is that it's easier to ignore some when they're not necessarily a big deal.

    Thanks for your input.

  5. #9
    Quote Originally Posted by maerad View Post
    I guess it depends how big of an association you mean?

    Alice is mine and my partner's top girls name, mutual decision, we both love it.
    It's also the name of my sister's best friend (who goes by a different, unrelated, nickname), some princesses, Alice in Wonderland, and a character on a TV show we both love (she's a psychopath who murders her parents, but my partner loves her). Firstly, to an extent my Alice would be named after the psychopath... but all the other associations are either neutral or vaguely positive, so I don't mind them? I don't love Alice in Wonderland, but it's not a *bad* association. So I guess I am overlooking some of the associations, but I don't think any of them are terrible.

    Then there's Isaac, also very high on my list. It's got lots of associations: Biblical, Computer Game, the next door neighbours 7 year old etc. And the only one of those that is close to putting me off is the neighbour, and even then I'm not *that* fussed.

    I think it would depend greatly on what the negative association was. But for the most part all of the names are my list are names I both like and have some vaguely-positive or neutral associations with. I don't think I have any truly *bad* associations with any of them, otherwise they wouldn't be on my list!
    You're right, thank you! This is reassuring because I was striking off all the names on my list that I liked that I had some sort of negative association with which was leaving me nameless! Now I feel a little more self-assured that actually it doesn't have to be perfect.

    Thanks for your response.

  6. #11
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Posts
    889
    Personally it depends on the name for me. I wpuldnt say I have very many names that are 'ruined'. A couple of childhood bullies and family black sheep, but that's really it. So most are untouched.
    One of my favourite boy names, Elliot, does remind me of my first crush. But since I was so young, that doesnt bother me. My favourite middle with it, Thomas, happens to be the first and last name of a different boy I went to school with, but I hardly knew him as I dont think we ever had a conversation. So minor things don't bother me.
    Ellie was the name of my main childhood bully for 7 years. So while I love names like Eleanor, Elodie, Elowen, I would hate for someone to call my child Ellie, or for her to like that nickname herself. This means these names have been relegated to middle names only.
    Other names I cannot get passed a negative association, and that's fine. Just find other names you love. If I like a name and have a slight negative association, looking up the meaning, seeing people of characters with the name and thinking of nicknames really helps me to fall in love. It's not so much that I can ignore ore the downside, just that theres so much more good
    Girls Names
    Liliana Juliet Sylvia Marcella Rosalie Evadne

    Girls Middles/Honours
    Juliet Margot Vera Celia Rosalie Eleanor


    Boys Names
    Griffin Elliot 'Otto' Caspian Jonas Elias Chester

    Boys Middles/Honours
    Daniel Charles Bennett Piers Thomas


  7. #13
    Join Date
    Apr 2018
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    826
    Honestly, I think there's a lot of conditional factors that play into whether or not I overlook a flaw or something in a name!

    For instance, Isabella is MIL's dog's name, but I'd still use it for a future little, because a connotation like that is something that I can look past kinda thing.

    For me, the only reasons I'll cross a name I love off are;

    • a close, immediate family member shares the name (ie; nieces, nephew, siblings, parents, first cousins)
    • it has a seriously negative connotation (like Adolf or Lucifer, something of that extent)
    • combined with surname, it's the name of a serial killer (ie; if my last name were Bundy, I wouldn't be choosing Theodore)
    • too hard to spell/pronounce (ie; Aoibheann)
    • the name of a person who deeply hurt S/O or myself (with some exceptions)
    ღ haley - twenty-three - early childhood education student ღ
    tallulah - daisie - sophie - billie - florence
    elsie - chloe - harriet - amelie - louisa
    honey - nellie - millie - ffion - mollie
    pixie - lillie - evie - poppy - lucie
    more favourites.

  8. #15
    @dayjoy and @leafsgirl44 Thank you both for your responses.

    Maybe it's the combination of being sensitive and being someone who frequently reflects on the past that even the slightest negative memory associated with a name is brought up when I think of the name.

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