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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Nov 2015
    Posts
    145

    Name disagreement

    How on earth do you find a name you both love? My boyfriend likes what I would consider run of the mill / Popular names; Olivia, Ava, Isla, Charlotte, Jessica, Amelia to name a few. Whereas I’m at the other end of the scale and have been obsessed with names such as Pandora, Zelie, Seraphina, Ottilie and Eulalia which have all been laughed at!

    We have a very, very short list that consists of names that one of us kind of likes but nothing we love equally.

    Penelope (me)
    Thea (he’s ok with this, it’s more mine)
    Heidi (him - he’s “friends” with a Heidi)
    Felicity (him)
    Francesca (his favourite)
    Naomi (him)
    Leilani (both)

    I much prefer longer names such as Theodora with the nickname Thea but at the minute I’ll take Thea on the list.

    He’s obsessed with Francesca - I would use as a middle name for sure as Frances is a family name anyway. I do like Frankie as a nickname but do I love Francesca? No!

    We both like Leilani but it wouldn’t at all go with the boy name pick which is Isaac.

    It’s also not that I don’t like some “popular” names. I adore Matilda, Ivy and Harriet but he sees them as too old fashioned. I honestly feel like I should give up and accept my daughter might end up being called Olivia!
    Boys

    Xavier Isaac James
    Ezekiel Asher Beau
    River Elias Gabriel
    Octavian Noah Caleb
    Atticus Theodore Jude


    Girls

    Pandora Elowen Frances
    Persephone Matilda Alice
    Seraphina Imogen Violet
    Octavia Felicity Eden
    Zendaya Iris Winter

  2. #3
    Join Date
    Nov 2016
    Posts
    8,174
    On your list at the moment, Thea seems like a good option. It has a similar vibe to some of the names you like and fits his more popular tastes. It fits well with Isaac too

    Leilani is nice too and i think it could work with Isaac - Isaac is pretty versatile

    I'll also suggest a couple of names that might bridge the gap (might not but I'll try)

    Phoebe
    Zoe
    Iris
    Ivy
    Freya
    Holly
    Leila
    Francine
    Anastasia
    Maeve
    Isadora (Izzy, Sadie)
    Lila
    Delilah
    Natasha
    Lyra
    Elora
    Eleanor
    Mila
    🌈Grace🌈
    Sarai Matilda|Una Adele|Ezra Apollo|Sholto Felix
    Rethinking...
    Ilaria Winter|Ilaria Juno|Ilaria Mabel|Ilaria Pearl
    Scout Eliora|Scout Eleanora|Scout Mirabel|Scout Elodie

    More|Vote

  3. #5
    Join Date
    Oct 2013
    Posts
    3,361
    In your signature you've got Alice, Felicity, Violet & Eden listed as potential middle names. These all seem like options he might go for (and Felicity is already on your compromise list), could you see yourself using any of them as first names?

    I would suggest you each go through the list of the top 1000 girls names in your country. Print it out twice and cross out any names that you wouldn't use, and put stars beside the ones you like best. Then compare lists. See where the similarities are. Maybe you can find a name like Aveline - he still has Ava as a nickname, but you have a really unusual & beautiful name at the same time!

    Also, I think the name sage recently wrote a blog post on this, I'd check that out!

    Eliza, Adeline, Felicity, Flora, Sophie, Beatrice, Rosalie, Harriet
    Charlie, Henry, Edwin, Felix, Lachlan, Leo, Wyatt,

  4. #7
    Join Date
    Jan 2016
    Posts
    29
    Don't overstress about how well a name meshes with a potential sibling.

    If you both really like Leilani, and you have a girl, then go with Leilani. If you have another child, you can decide then how important it is to capture the same vibe as his or her big sister. And by then, maybe you will have moved on to another name from one you're considering now. Or maybe you'll view a name you really like now in a different way (personally, I think Isaac works with Leilani!). Or, maybe you'll have another girl.

    There are just so many variables that it's not worth getting hung up on a potential sibling if you're really into Leilani.

  5. #9
    One thing that might help is getting him to branch out a little bit. It sounds like you've spent a LOT more time looking at and thinking about baby names than he has, so really the only names he's been exposed to are names of his friends or friends' kids.

    You could have him use a tool like Name Generator, Nymbler, or the Name Matchmaker at Baby Name Wizard to expand his list a little bit. I also like the suggestion above of printing the US top 1000 and having him look through that. (Not sure if you're in the US, but from what I've seen, the UK only publishes the top 100, not top 1000, so that would steer him toward really popular names, which may not be what your'e going for.) Looking at a list of popular names might help him realize that a lot of the names he sees as too "old-fashioned" like Ivy are actually coming back in style!

    Another compromise is finding names that have a longer form but a more common nickname (Theodora nicknamed Thea, like you suggested, or Aveline nicknamed Ava, as suggested above). A few other possibilities: Evangeline nicknamed Eva, Seraphina nicknamed Sera, Adelaide/Adeline nicknamed Addie, Cordelia nicknamed Cora.

    Or a compromise might mean finding a name that's somewhere in the middle. Not top 10 like most of his favorites, but not quite as esoteric as most of yours. You actually have a pretty good list going. (I might bump off Heidi because I'm not sure what this "friends" thing means.)

    Other names that might be comfortably in the middle:
    Alice
    Cora
    Eva
    Lydia
    Josephine
    Eliza
    Eleanor/Nora
    Violet
    Cecilia/Celia
    Juliet
    Livia
    Camille
    Miranda
    Serena
    Annabelle
    Anneliese
    Adele
    Elise
    Delia

  6. #11
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Location
    Pacific Northwest
    Posts
    409
    Quote Originally Posted by fallenangel View Post
    How on earth do you find a name you both love? My boyfriend likes what I would consider run of the mill / Popular names; Olivia, Ava, Isla, Charlotte, Jessica, Amelia to name a few. Whereas I’m at the other end of the scale and have been obsessed with names such as Pandora, Zelie, Seraphina, Ottilie and Eulalia which have all been laughed at!

    We have a very, very short list that consists of names that one of us kind of likes but nothing we love equally.

    Penelope (me)
    Thea (he’s ok with this, it’s more mine)
    Heidi (him - he’s “friends” with a Heidi)
    Felicity (him)
    Francesca (his favourite)
    Naomi (him)
    Leilani (both)

    I much prefer longer names such as Theodora with the nickname Thea but at the minute I’ll take Thea on the list.

    He’s obsessed with Francesca - I would use as a middle name for sure as Frances is a family name anyway. I do like Frankie as a nickname but do I love Francesca? No!

    We both like Leilani but it wouldn’t at all go with the boy name pick which is Isaac.

    It’s also not that I don’t like some “popular” names. I adore Matilda, Ivy and Harriet but he sees them as too old fashioned. I honestly feel like I should give up and accept my daughter might end up being called Olivia!
    My favorite Francesca nn is Kicka! I think it's so spunky!
    No Reserves. No Retreats. No Regrets.

  7. #13
    Join Date
    May 2014
    Posts
    1,628
    Deep breath, you're both going to be happy here, one thing about compromise is that it doesn't always mean no one gets everything they want.
    Also I would stop thinking about how common and just each make a list.
    It does look like you've done that.
    Which is great!

    If Francesca is your middle name and you know your surname(s) then you can choose the first name even easier.
    Cross off anything that's a no on either list and make a new list each of names either of you might possibly consider from the others list.

    Narrow it down... Cross off names of people you know and get it to where you each have one o r two you can tolerate from the others list.
    this doesn't mean these are the names... Just that they're ideas...
    You agree on Isaac so I would tuck that aside for the future and I know people are saying not to take it into consideration but I say do, you may never have a son but if it matters to you now... Keep it in mind, write it down and go ahead and make up a full boys and full girls name on paper.
    Leilani is nice ... It's not crazy unusable by Isaac. But if you're choosing it for its the only thing we both like... Maybe it's not the one?
    Have you considered Naomi? Similar in a way and goes nicely with Isaac and the likely middle and it's both underused and traditional?
    That is what I'm going to suggest.
    Persephone is also possibly in that category.
    Odette maybe
    Tali
    Thessaly
    Tesla
    Psalm 127:3-5

  8. #15
    I think Leilani goes with Isaac.

  9. #17
    Join Date
    Nov 2018
    Posts
    140

  10. #19
    Join Date
    Jun 2017
    Posts
    5,287
    Some ideas that might split the difference:
    Tessa
    Miranda nn Mira or Miri
    Dorothea nn Thea
    Olympia
    Octavia
    Annabel
    Mirabel nn Mira or Miri
    Vivian
    Gwendolyn nn Gwen
    Zara
    Zora
    Zelda
    Susanna nn Zuzu or Suki or Zanna
    Genevieve
    Adelaide nn Addie or Daisy
    Adela nn Addie, Ellie, Della, or Ella
    Emmeline nn Emmy or Lina or Millie
    Last edited by erin beth; August 15th, 2019 at 05:06 PM.
    Ellen Virginia * Nancy Eleanor * May Genevieve * Celia Madeleine * Audrey Claire * Bess Emilia
    Nathaniel Francis * Leo Edmund * Benedict Henry * Virgil Blaise * Joseph Malachi * Timothy Jerome

    Also Liking: OONA MUIRGHEAL * Siobhan Brigid * Cassandra Niamh * Miranda Kate *
    Sybil Josephine * Edith Augusta * Catherine Ginevra * Molly Catriona *

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