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  1. #1

    Worried mom needs advice!

    With two boys aged 5 and 3, I was ready to call it quits on the offspring. But my husband and I didn't see eye to eye on that- he had always imagined a large family. After some back and forth, I agreed to just one more kid. I admit, I always wanted a little girl, and I had my fingers crossed! Long story short- I wasn't blessed with a girl. I'm pregnant with twins- two boys. I was barely ready for one baby, and now I get two. I'm ashamed to admit that I haven't quite come to terms with it. The possibility hadn't even crossed my mind when we were conceiving- I mean, what are the oddds? The twins are going to be a strain financially and you always hear what a hassle they are as babies (one stops cring, the other starts). I'm afraid I'll neglect my older two- they're very rambunctious, and I can't imgine what it'S like to have FOUR boys running all over the place!
    I would be very grateful if anyone with twins or lots of boys could give advice or share their experience.

    On the bright side: my husband has given me pretty much free reign over choosing names

  2. #3
    Join Date
    Dec 2017
    Posts
    530
    Don't be ashamed! It sounds to me like you are being practical and are preparing to face reality, and there is nothing shameful in that. I'm not in your shoes, so I don't have too much advice, I can only say accept ALL THE HELP.

    Best Wishes.
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  3. #5
    I don’t personally have any experience with this however I think it’s natural to worry and panic a bit, you can’t really plan for twins! My sister had a similar situation this past year, she has one boy who was about 9 months old when she found out she was expecting twin boys... she cried the whole first month because they had tentatively agreed that they might want another’s child this year but weren’t really trying yet, were hoping for a girl, and were planning on having just 1! But now they couldn’t imagine life any other way.
    I think the way you’re feeling is totally normal, no need to feel guilty. and it sounds like you’re a good mother so your older kids and babies are gonna know you love them, even when it is hard to give them the attention you want to
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  4. #7
    Join Date
    Jun 2018
    Location
    Northern Europe
    Posts
    821
    I don't have twins, and only one boy running around with a second on the way, but... I think it's completely normal to be scared and to feel unprepared. This isn't what you expected, and it's only natural that you need some time to get used to the idea. I'm sure you'll find a way to make it work for your family. Please make sure you get all the help you need from family, friends and professionals, and don't be ashamed to talk about the doubts you have now. It's not helpful to anyone to pretend you're absolutely fine and at ease with all of this when right now you're not. There's absolutely no shame in it.

    I do have some experience in the sense that I have a twin brother, and my parents weren't prepared for twins either. They already had two children running around, just like you, and at first they were overwhelmed. But everything turned out fine.
    Because I'm a twin myself, I'm maybe more aware of the possibility of having twins, so when I was pregnant with my first and now with this baby I think I wouldn't have been completely shocked had I found out I was expecting twins, but I don't think I'd have been completely prepared either. With fraternal twins it usually skips a generation, and I have to admit that I hope it does in our case too. But if it ever turns out that I'm pregnant with twins, I'd be worried too, no doubt.
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