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  1. #1

    Would you use a family name that relatives consider "cursed"?

    My husband and I are expecting our third child.

    While looking through our family trees for naming inspiration, we came across a bunch of interesting monikers -- and one very sad name story. Apparently about five or six generations back, I had a relative named Louise who died when she was 16. Her sibling later went on to have a daughter, who was named Flora Louise -- and Flora Louise also died at 16.

    The problem is I really like the name Louisa -- it checks all the boxes for what I'm looking for. It's literary, old-fashioned, familiar, and rarely used -- and it sounds great with our other kids' names.

    My mom insists that the name Louise is cursed and has forbidden me from using Louisa since it's a related form.

    What do you think? Is it okay to use a "cursed" name?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2019
    Location
    Midwest USA
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    196
    Hello! I can't give you a completely black and white answer but here are my thoughts. If this "curse" is tied to this name in your family, even if you have no problem with it and decide to go with it, I'm curious if anything in your child's life..... even like a cold or an ear infection for example, were to happen would you or people in your family constantly be questioning if it was "the curse"? Would it take away your peace of mind?
    I'm not an inherently suspicious person so I say if you love it go for it. It is a beautiful name, and not the exact same name as the cursed name.

    I just question if you have any reservations even right now, would you constantly be questioning throughout the duration of her life if you chose "a cursed name". Or even if you and your husband are fine with it, would other family members continually bring it up to the point where you wouldn't even enjoy her name anymore? It's just something to think about, and since I don't know your family dynamics I can't really say if you should go for it or not. I hope that helped somewhat and I wish you well in your decision making process!

  3. #3
    You're an adult and your mom can't forbid you from naming your daughter what you want. It's superstition, and having a child named that who doesn't meet a terrible end might boost morale a little in your family
    rachel

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  4. #4
    Join Date
    Nov 2016
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    10,989
    I don't think it would stop me, possibly because i probably wouldnt believe in the curse. Do you believe in the curse? If not, you could use it
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  5. #5
    Join Date
    May 2014
    Posts
    278
    If "the curse" was tied to a more recent relative, I think I would avoid it. However, family history from multiple generations ago wouldn't bother me - after all, dying at 16 years old 5 generations back probably isn't all that unheard of for that time period. I say if you love Louisa, go for it! Everyone will start to associate the name with your baby instead of family lore.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    May 2015
    Posts
    2,280
    Look I’m high key addicted to macabre so I would do it, but maybe not everybody would roll those dice with their own child. Lisa has the same qualities you love...and also isn’t cursed and is kinda rare for kids nowadays.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jun 2018
    Location
    Northern Europe
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    935
    In that case I personally wouldn't use it, because I wouldn't want my child to have a name that makes my family members uncomfortable in that way. I'm not saying I want my entire family to love the name we pick, I know that's impossible, but there's a difference between disliking a name and thinking that a certain name is cursed.
    Mother to Hjörtur Emmanuel & Barnabas Húni

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  8. #8
    Join Date
    Nov 2016
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    Greece
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    Your baby, your choice. Your mom will get used to the name and so will everyone else. Tell her (gently but firmly) that you don't believe in curses but appreciate her concern.
    But like others said, only name her Louisa if you really wouldn't associate her becoming sick to curses. Though, again, Louise was a pretty common name, and dying young not uncommon back in the day.
    If you want inspiration for sweet, classic and unique names there are plenty of threads on nameberry. Georgianna, Beatrix, Estella, Winnie/Winifred, Opal, Flora, Millie/Millicent, Clementine, Belle, June and Adelaide come to mind. There's also the similar Louella, Lola and Elouisa.
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  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jun 2015
    Posts
    403
    I would definitely find another name (which is a shame since I love Louisa too). I just couldn't use a name with that much family baggage. Lydia maybe? Tessa ?

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Posts
    1,311
    Oy, that’s tough. Part of me wants to say don’t sweat and use it if you love it. However, and I’m NOT a superstitious person... I feel like it could make me one. Being a parent, you’re naturally hyper concerned about your kids and their safety. Like another person pointed out... any time your child got really sick or injured, would there be a little piece of you that would “go there”? Would relatives say something like “oh no, the curse!” I mean, I would hope not but we all have some relatives who don’t think before they speak!

    Only you know the true whole picture of the situation and how you are. The fact that you’re asking this question leads me to believe you may have a tiny bit of uncertainty which in that case, I would sadly toss it.

    I totally understand when you love a name but if there’s any doubt then I don’t think it’s worth using.

    Not sure if alternatives are possible or still considered too close but Eloise, Eloisa, Elise, Elisa or Eliza are similar.
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