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  1. #41
    Join Date
    Aug 2014
    Location
    Vancouver, WA
    Posts
    399
    My short answer is: do what makes you feel comfortable. I like Smith. It's such a short name. I don't see a problem with you hyphenating.

    My story:
    I did hyphenate. I liked it for 7 years of marriage, he also did so, but not willingly, mostly to "keep me happy" but it didn't make me happy because it didn't seem genuine. I love my boys, and they have hyphenated last names, but I've chosen from now on we are The B's, instead of the C-B's. I'll just state "Full legal name is but please call me Sarah B." That is until I go to court to legally change my middle and drop the hyphenated name. I didn't have a hugely close relationship with my father, who was absent most of my life, with occasional cards and phone calls and one or two visits, however I really liked my word surname. It is rather unique. I really just didn't know if I wanted to be Sarah B. So I became Sarah C-B. It was a compromise, and one I'm ready to end. I'm ready to be Sarah B.

  2. #43
    Join Date
    Oct 2015
    Posts
    4,803
    I absolutely want to change it, not because of tradition but because I never care about my surname in the first place. I feel zero connection to it. In fact, unless required for documents, I usually just go by my first name only. I see marriage as an opportunity to find different surname.

    Unless my partner's surname sounds bad, I will just take it. If it sounds bad or had a terrible meaning or something like that, I'd try to talk him into finding something new lol. My current boyfriend has an okay surname. We're still early in the relationship so haven't talked about names yet and who knows we'll stick together or not, but if it ever comes to marriage I have no issue to take his.
    Luna.

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  3. #45
    Join Date
    May 2018
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    688
    I want to change my name when I get married but keep my maiden name for professional purposes. It makes the most sense practically since all of my qualifications are in my current surname and I'm planning on doing a PhD, which will probably be done in my maiden name. Also my current surname is 8 letters long and frequently mispronounced so changing to DF's 5 letter, pretty recognisable (think Grint) very English last name will mean not having to correct everyone as they stumble over the letters.

    Also? My dad has five brothers so I'm not fussed about the surname going on (I have plenty of cousins, and one of my female cousins hyphenated with her husband on marriage so now their last name is HerLast-HisLast). But since it's Scots, it also has lots of history so I would be upset to completely get rid of it; this is a good compromise.

  4. #47
    Join Date
    Nov 2018
    Location
    New Zealand
    Posts
    638
    Well, I don't dislike my surname, but I'm not hugely attached to it. I'm one of those kids that, even though my parents weren't married, I took my mum's surname, and used my dad's name as a middle name. I think, if I were to get married, I'd have to remove my dad's surname too. I'm much closer to my mum than I am to my dad; I'm not estranged from him, but it would feel wrong for me to keep one surname and not the other; so it's either both, or neither.

    I'm 16, so I am along way off even thinking too much marriage, but it is something I've considered before. I think I honestly would have to consider my parent's emotions in this decision more than my own, they're far more connected to my name than I am. I do, however, really want the same surname as my children. Let's say, hypothetically, my husband's surname was... 'Candy.' (It's the first word I thought of.)

    I believe I would become Stella Grace *dad's surname* Candy, simply removing my mum's surname, and my children would be..

    *first name* *middle name* *grandma's surname* *dad's surname*

    But in all honesty... I know I'd be sad upon completing the change. If It were up to ME? My name would be changed to:

    Stella Grace *dad's surname* *mum's surname* *husband's surname*

    But is 5 names too long? And I've already been told by my parents that they'd like to be honoured in my future children's names. Gosh, it is stressful, even as a teenager I'm thinking about this!
    sunny margaret
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    ophelia belle

    all those days in the sun, what I'd give to relive just one...
    robin augustus
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    aurelius tristan




  5. #49
    Join Date
    Feb 2014
    Location
    London, England
    Posts
    9,250
    I used to want to change my surname because I wasn't a fan of it at all, but if I don't keep my current surname, when I marry it'll die out since my mother and I are the only "original" relatives with the Pinder surname left (for feminist reasons and also due to the fact she and my father never married, my mother chose to keep her maiden name) in my family since everyone else either married or took their father's surname, who was an in-law. I also don't really agree with the patriarchal reason as to why it's common to take one's husband's surname upon marriage, so I guess that's another factor too. I'd either keep my maiden name or have a double-barrelled name with my future partner should I marry, depending on what their surname is (e.g. if it rhymed with Pinder or began with a P as well, it would be a no-go).
    Teenberry | Amateur Photographer and editor | Human to cats Toffee & Fudge


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