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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    5,167

    House before baby?

    Hi all,

    I am in the planning stage right now as far as when to TTC in 2019/2020, and I'm wondering if I should go ahead or put it off until after I've bought a house. What are your experiences with a new baby in a house vs. an apartment? Would you recommend waiting for the house?

    I'm feeling impatient because I figure the house buying will take time in my market, and settling into the house even more time before I could realistically start TTC. Then there's finances to consider... houses are notorious for eating up money, and I'd like to have a nice nest egg when I'm TTC. What do you think?

    Looking forward to your input!

    ⇝⇜
    Astrid | Beatrix | Elodie | Elsie | Flora
    Freya | Hattie | Helena | Leonie | Louisa
    Linnea | Maeve | Margot | Matilda | Sanna | Theodora

    Alfred | Barnaby | Cassian | Conrad | Edmund
    Everett | Felix | Finnian | Hector | Iver | Lorcan
    Magnus | Oscar | Otto | Rory | Toby | Winston
    ⇝⇜


    "C." 26. Ultrasound tech and name lover. Just collecting.

  2. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    1,900
    I will always recommend buying a house first. The stability, having a place of your own, not renting, the freedom to decorate a nursery freely (a lot of rentals won’t allow free range), having a “home” to bring baby back to etc etc
    Financially in some cases, a mortgage can be cheaper than renting but there are the other costs (insurance, upkeep, utilities, furnishings etc) that do add up monthly.
    Consider how you would like to live after a baby is in the picture, will you be entitled to Maternity/Parental leave? That often cuts your salary in half.
    Do you have a down payment saved up already? Saving a down payment post-baby will be more difficult. If you have one, why wait to buy if the perfect place shows up?
    Having money saved up for the time you’ll have off work is pretty important like you said, the up front costs of a baby are often higher than people realize.

    As far as house vs. Apartment goes, you’ll have more control over your environment in a house, no shared walls or neighbour noise to disturb your sleep/babies sleep, things like that.

    A house was a nonnegotiable term for us TTC, it was very important for us to be in our own place.


    {sleep wake hope and then}
    e.e cummings

    TTC Our First
    Hoping on a Rainbow
    —————
    7w6d - 6w - 4w - 12w - 5w
    Patience - Opal - Hope - Haven - Wren
    Always with me.



  3. #5
    Buying a house was high on our list of priorities before TTC but when it came down to it, we were too eager, too "ready" in all other ways, that we let this one slide. We were renting a house, not an apartment, and ended up finding a place to buy when our daughter was 15 months old. When I became pregnant with her we were most of the way toward saving for a down payment and actually put an offer in when she was 3 months old, but the contract fell through (thankfully! Looking back, it was for the best).

    It probably took us longer to save after having a baby, as I was off work for a while and went back part time for the remainder of her first year. It was hard not being able to do much to the house in terms of baby-proofing when she got mobile. It drove me crazy that her room wasn't the perfect nursery I'd always imagined, as we couldn't paint and the carpet was stuck in the 50s. It was very hard to move with a 15 month old -- I was basically taken out of action to care for her, while my husband and his dad moved everything. Then there's the whole house set up... not easy with a toddler, either.

    That said... if I had to go back, I wouldn't change anything. I'm glad we started trying when we did, and I know we wouldn't have this same little girl if we hadn't. I would argue things would definitely be easier if you waited for a house, but if you feel ready, it's not the worst thing to have a baby while renting.

    Mummy to Rosalie Lyra ("Rosie") 17.01.16
    and Atticus Jon ("Kit") 27.03.19


  4. #7
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    5,167
    Thank you both for your detailed and insightful responses!

    I do have a down payment saved up, but my sticky point is that I know I'll have to use medical intervention to get pregnant, which unfortunately also costs a lot of money. Money my savings could be going toward rather than a house. But, after reading and thinking, waiting for a house does have its benefits and I can see where that might be the smarter course. I think it's just especially hard for me right now because I'm surrounded by pregnancies, both in my circle and as an ultrasound tech at work... it makes my yearning that much tougher to ignore. Ultimately though, I don't want to do things rashly, so... I might have to wait.

    ⇝⇜
    Astrid | Beatrix | Elodie | Elsie | Flora
    Freya | Hattie | Helena | Leonie | Louisa
    Linnea | Maeve | Margot | Matilda | Sanna | Theodora

    Alfred | Barnaby | Cassian | Conrad | Edmund
    Everett | Felix | Finnian | Hector | Iver | Lorcan
    Magnus | Oscar | Otto | Rory | Toby | Winston
    ⇝⇜


    "C." 26. Ultrasound tech and name lover. Just collecting.

  5. #9
    Join Date
    Apr 2018
    Posts
    825
    My husband and I are currently renting a 2-bedroom townhouse, and I am pregnant with our 3rd child. We have decided to stay here one more year, and pay off some debt and let our credit scores go up enough that we would qualify for a home loan. I figure the kids are young enough that they won’t care about sharing a room, or not having the walls painted a certain color. Although, to be honest, I never thought I’d be in the position to buy a home, so that wasn’t even something we talked about before getting pregnant
    Last edited by jensowvlen; December 30th, 2018 at 03:46 PM.
    Mommy to Audrey Jeanine and Ezra Marvin

    Surprise! Violet Lenore born 4/1/19


    Some favorite girls names

    Celia Joy ~ Dahlia Rue ~ Thea Grace ~ Violet Lenore



    Some favorite boys names: Gideon Kent ~ Jasper Lee ~ Oscar Jack ~ Tobias Poe





  6. #11
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Location
    United States
    Posts
    3,340
    Well, I don't have a baby yet and I know that everyone has their own circumstances and so on, so take what I say with a grain of salt.

    When we got married, we moved into an apartment, which is where we started TTC. Don't get me wrong, the apartment wasn't too bad in the ways of apartments. Two small bedrooms, a big living room, a bathtub (makes bathing little ones easier)... however, looking back, we are extremely thankful and lucky that we didn't get pregnant and bring a baby home to that place. There were huge cracks in the ceiling, the landlord was a bit slow to get things done, we had to beg to do simple improvements, the neighbors below us (duplex) weren't great, and so on. Beyond that, it was nearly impossible for us to save up for a little family because our rent was going into the guy's pocket. It wasn't like we were paying down a mortgage, working towards the place truly being ours. Additionally, moving was stressful enough. I absolutely am thankful we didn't have to do that with me being pregnant, or with an infant, or with a toddler. It was hellish enough with just us and our cat!

    We've helped our good friends move twice. They have 3 kids, who were ages newborn-3 the first move and infant-4 this last time. It was really hard to manage. Keeping them out of the way, while keeping them close enough to watch, having to stop them from grabbing stuff, having to make extra trips because of the carseats taking up room, etc. was absolutely ridiculous. The environment was stressful on them, too, because they are too little to understand why they were leaving the place they knew as home. Unless you have family or can find a sitter to watch the little ones while you pack and move, it's just added stress.

    All in all, I'm beyond thankful that my husband and I will one day be bringing a baby home to our actual home. I'm thankful that we can put our money towards our house, not towards a landlord's vacation fund. I can plan my nursery how I want. We can put a fence up outside. We can make other improvements to make our house safer for the baby. Yeah, there's a bit more in the way of expenses, but it is worth it.
    Alyssa

    Elim Nathaniel James due Feb 2020 <3

    "Beauty begins the moment you decide to be yourself"~ Coco Chanel

  7. #13
    Join Date
    Jan 2018
    Posts
    266
    We are currently renting a three bedroom townhouse, and I'm expecting our first baby next month. We have the downpayment saved up, however we relocated interstate a few weeks ago and wanted to rent in the area first to get an idea of where to buy. We did move into a new place though before baby, and that has been nice for nesting/cleaning etc.

    We are anticipating buying and moving into our first home when baby is around 5 months. It wasn't a must for us to buy beforehand, probably because we know it is in the near future and that we have the savings ready to go.
    Excitedly expecting a baby girl in Feb 2019!

    Crushin' on:

    Boys
    Adam - Leo - Max - Nathan - Griffin - Kit - Rhett - Sam - Jude - Ennis - Luke - Henry - Ephram - Gabriel

    Girls
    Norah - Hallie - Maggie - Julia - Willa - Libby - Ruth - Edie - Beth - Annie - Thea - June - Neve - Tess - Leonie


  8. #15
    We lived in a 1 bedroom apartment until #1 was a year old and then moved into a 2 bedroom. Now we have 2 little kids in the 2 bedroom apartment. It works fine for us and it's easy to clean a small space.

    The one big thing - I'm glad we don't have neighbors directly above or below us any more (our apartment now is single story) for my own peace of mind not having to worry about disturbing the nieghbors if our kids wake up crying in the night. And also it is nice we have a washer and dryer in unit because we do enjoy cloth diapering.

    Having kids is the best thing ever.. purposely waiting to TTC until buying a house is not for us
    mommy of DK & SE <3
    Anaïs Aurora . Eden Azalea . Mila Celeste
    Rose Angelica . Serafina Lily . Sierra Faith
    Veronica Violet . Willow Noelle . Zoë Autumn

    Damian Fox . Elliott Forest . Jude Solaris
    Milo Justus . Owen Xavier . River Maximilian
    Sage Raphael . Tristan Phoenix . Vincent Blaise


  9. #17
    I would have the baby first. (I did have the baby first) I don't really understand what is so important about owning a house. (We bought our first house last year...and still, I don't understand why people are in such a hurry to own a house sometimes, especially if they don't plan on staying in it for several years.) The transactional costs of buying a home are significant. A lot of people I know in real life underestimate the closing costs on the house. They can be be as much as the down payment.

    Anyway, in my own life I value children far, far more than owning a home. So baby came first. The costs associated with birth/maternity leave can really vary. So I tackled that first so I had a better idea of what was left over for a down payment and closing costs. Plus, we got an idea of how much baby eats into our budget. Since down payment/closing costs + budget are affected by the baby and they are things that determine the price point when house shopping, it only makes sense in my mind to have the baby first.
    Last edited by orchid_lover; January 9th, 2019 at 04:49 AM.
    http://www.babynames.com/namelist/9865107
    My little boy blue Indigo Robert
    If we had a girl tomorrow Majorelle Anne
    "Maggie"
    http://www.howtopronounce.com/french/majorelle/

  10. #19
    Join Date
    Nov 2017
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    747
    With myself out of work for 4 years now and counting due to trauma(abusive ex) and mental health we are on a single income I don't think we could ever buy a house (I am 27 and he is 13 years older than me and we both came from failed and somewhat abusive relationships[yes, his ex was, in my eyes, emotionally abusive] where the other took most of the 'stuff' so we had to rebuild furniture/appliance/etc so that took us 3 years to have a nice and livable home. So I think we only have little time to save up 15-20% of 350k is in my eyes not realistic (I want to be pregnant by 30-31). So I am going to have a child/ren first and then if we have enough in savings and the bank allows a loan may be a house later (but with my DH being the age he is and most likely the better money earner, I don't see a bank loaning to us).
    🎔listography🎔
    TTC 2020

    Sylvie Cordelia Raine ✦ Evelyn Lilia Juno ✦ Rosalind Calista Jade
    Milena Juliette Sena

    Silas Raphael Fynn ★ Asher Leonidas Beau ★ Alaric Evander Kai
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