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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2018

    To find out the sex or not?

    I'm pretty sure I want to keep this baby's gender a surprise, but my SO is terribly impatient and wants to find out. I love surprises, and there are so few of them in our life. I feel like finding out is a lot like peeking at Christmas presents too early. I love the thrill of not knowing. I love the idea of doing old wives' tales, guessing, dreaming, collecting bets and so on.

    But my SO is the practical one, and he says it would be much easier to decide on nursery theme, coming home outfit, and names if we found out. What should we do? We still have a couple of days to decide, and I would love some opinions.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Nov 2016
    If your SO wants to find out, then can't he learn the sex and simply not share it with you? It wouldn't make deciding on a nursery, outfit or name easier, but it'd still be a compromise that'd make your SO happy. Good luck!
    Last edited by emmievis; October 31st, 2018 at 04:18 PM.
    ❤ Clementine Edith Pearl ❤
    Dorothy Lilac • Gwendolen Bee • Heidi Rosemary • Lavender Belle
    Lettie Rosalind • Marguerite Joy 'Mae' • Rosamund Lane • Winifred Hope

    ❤ Lionel Forrest Jude ❤
    Clement Wilde 'Clay' • Clyde Peregrine • Edmund Wolfe • Fergus Frederick
    Percy Noble • Reuben Sage • Seamus Bear • Stanley Ocean

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Oct 2018
    emmievis: This is actually a great idea! I am not sure how to do it, but we certainly can ask them to write it down on a piece of paper and just give it to my SO? Thank you!
    Dromio † Gwydion † Amadeus † Crispin † Laertes † Franz † Lysander † Melchior † Emrys

    Berengaria † Perpetua † Cosima † Aminta
    Octavia † Flavia † Melisande † Ottilie

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Dec 2015
    Virginia, USA
    We're in the opposite situation as you. My husband never wants to know, and I always do. For our first we found out at the 20 week ultrasound because I just couldn't handle not knowing. For me the biggest worry was having to figure out boy and girl name options.

    For this one, my husband is getting his way, and we're team green until the birth. I think it's easier on me this time because we've figured out our naming style and it feels much less overwhelming to need options for both sexes. I always had a rule that either we both know or we both don't, but even when we knew, it was a secret only for us (which was tricky but actually fun).

    If you're planning on more than one, can you do a compromise like this? If you're not, I think the mom gets 60% of the vote.

    Mom to Vera Catherine and Grant Michael

    Current loves-
    Claire Juliet, Audrey Joan, Etta Mary, Zara Elayne
    Walter John, Arthur Thomas, Gideon James

  5. #5
    I personally am high anxiety so not knowing until I give birth would make me go insane so I applaud you and your patience. I agree with above about possibly letting your SO find out and letting him keep it to himself so as not to ruin the surprise for you. Good luck!
    Mama to Calix Birch

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Apr 2017
    I vote not finding out. I always felt that not knowing would make the birth more meaningful.
    Violet Alice Sybil, Lydia Victoria Georgiana, Katherine Josephine Isobel,
    Rose Margaret Philippa, Adelaide Philippa
    Andrew Jonathan, Charles Richard, Thomas Kenneth,
    George Albert, Edward Arthur

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jun 2017
    We've always found out at 20 or so weeks and plan to again with this baby. I am too impatient to go the full 9 months not knowing, it would drive me insane, but awesome if you can! I think finding out at 20 weeks is a great halfway point in the pregnancy and something I look forward to. There is so much excitement and adrenaline when actually giving birth that meeting the baby is enough for me. I don't need anything more than that. There are so many unknowns in pregnancy and childbirth and really, even knowing what it is ahead of time, isn't really foolproof. There can still be a mistake. So take it with a grain of salt.

    If one of you wants to know and the other doesn't, then honour each others wishes and keep it to yourself. Then it's a win-win.
    Finn, Leo, and Kate <3

    Mila Elena Arabella | Mason Calder Declan

    Freya Violet Stella | Aurora Olivia Guinevere | Fia Lillianna Elizaveta | Morgana Rose Genevieve
    Juliet Belle Sophia | Anya Isla Persephone

    Oliver Caspian James | Callum Nicholas Evander | August Victor Hugo
    Theo Bartholomew Lincoln | Dimitri Matthew Balthazar

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jun 2018
    Northern Europe
    With our son we found out, and I've always regretted it to be honest. If I have another baby, I don't want to find out. As for the nursery theme, clothing etc, that was never an issue for us, because we were pretty gender neutral in that department.
    Mother to Hjörtur Emmanuel & Barnabas Húni

    Ephraim Óli * Thaddeus Hreinn * Vignir Ulysses * Nikolai Svani * Zalman Torfi
    Ondine Lilach * Lucinde Meital * Mareva Bluma * Lavinia Perle * Magdalene Dune

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Nov 2014
    I'm definitely with you on this one. I know when some friends have divulged the sex of the baby and the name chosen I felt that the only thing I didn't know was the birth weight and TBH, the excitement of the baby's arrival was lost. It is more difficult than one would think when one of you knows and the other doesn't. When you are shopping or discussing names I think you will pick up on his heightened interest in one or the other, or it will slip as it did with friends that knew but were keeping it to themselves. I asked how she was doing and being distracted, referred to "her".

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Nov 2018
    I'm team not knowing, but maybe you could do like other people have said and let him know but not you? For nursery themes you can always go with more of like a yellow or character theme (I'm going with Winnie the Pooh, personally...)

    Charlotte Isabella | Evelyn Rose | Esther Charlotte | Esther Rose | Evelyn Charlotte

    Benjamin Joseph | Daniel Joseph | Daniel Thomas | Joshua Thomas

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