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Thread: Opinions needed

  1. #6
    Join Date
    Jun 2016
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    1,365
    Well first of all, if it were me in that situation, I would be asking DH to talk to his mother about saying things like that she hopes you pick a "better" name the next time around. How rude! I think if your husband wants to use an African name you should ask him to come up with a list of names that he would like to use as first names. It can be tough if you don't like the names he does or if you can't agree, but try your best to compromise! I don't think you guys owe MIL anything, your nane choice is up to you, so don't force yourselves into using a name that you don't like just to appease her. She already named her children.
    --------------
    name of the day...
    Dunbar
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  2. #8
    @wandarine: my husband doesn't have a strong opinion on this, the most important thing for him is that our children have names we love with a meaning we like. But he doesn't want to hurt his mother, so he tries to compromise. The thing is, I don't feel like we should be taking turns with honoring heritage, I just want names that I love and a coherent sibset.

    @jensowvlen: both DH's sisters have children with Biblical or African names, three of them honoring family members. So I doubt she's feeling left out in general.

    @sparkleninja18: there are two main reasons I don't want to use an African name: I don't like the names enough to use them for my child, and for baby number two: I want a coherent sibset. I don't see why I should feel obliged to use a name I don't even like. Only two people decide what name we give our children, and that's me and my husband. I don't hear my parents complaining because we haven't used a Polish or Swedish name.
    Mother to Hjörtur Emmanuel

    Hlynur Gabriel * Gretar Johannes* Ragnar Felix * Remus Edgar * Jan Vakur * Hrafn Aron

    Vaka Susanna * Octavia Elizabeth * Greta Magdalena * Salka Jakobina * Karolina Maria * Johanna Charlotta

  3. #10
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Location
    US
    Posts
    2,680
    Your child's name is solely determined by you and DH so your MIL's or anyone else's opinion is irrelevant. I think she is probably taking issue because the 1st child has such an obviously Icelandic first name. I don't know that she would feel the same if the 1st child had been given a more "neutral", not specific to any one heritage. For this reason I'd go for a more "neutral" name this time around if it were me but again that's up to you and DH to decided what would be best. I would still just peruse the plethora African names out there to see if anything jumps out at you before ruling it out completely if you think it would make your husband happy. Good luck!

    Theodora Temple Rose / Anouk Cecilia Pearl / Jude Evergreen / Titus Leopold
    Lilias Winifred Adele / Elspeth Miriam Lake / Rufus Emerald / Crispin Valor
    Ottilie Jane Vesper / Heloise Auden Claire / Emmett Garland / Marius Winter

    TTC #1

    Philippians 3:7

  4. #12
    Join Date
    May 2013
    Posts
    615
    Between you and your husband, you have a lot of cultures and you can’t possibly honor them all. With your first one, you picked a very decidedly Icelandic name as the first name. That’s huge, and I actually feel that the coherency in sibset you’re looking for would in fact be to have a Ugandese name as the first name of the second child - possibly with your name as the middle. I would honestly find it highly offensive to choose two Icelandic names. And regarding wanting coherency, when you pick a name like Hjörtur, what options are there for creating coherency that aren’t also plain Icelandic? Your family is part Icelandic, part Ugandese. Yes, those are very different cultures and name styles probably, but i think therein lies your challenge here: to unify your family honoring both sides equally.

    A second option to play this is to leave the second child’s first name up to your husband. If HE decides he wants to honor his British heritage instead, that’s his choice. I would not try to influence him based on your own preferences. And you get to decide the middle name.
    Sage (*2013)
    Nani (MC 2017, may have been Seraphine or Aurelian)
    Expecting again! Due early 2019


    Looking for Slavic names this time around.
    Girls: Zoria or Zaria ~ Iskra ~ Zora ~ Ivka ~ Velizara ~ Velimira ~ Veliona ~ Vesna ~ Devana (Deva) ~ Lelia?
    Boys: Vedran ~ Neven ~ Jadran ~ Ilias? ~ Iskren ~ Dragomir? ~ Veles? ~ Velimir ~ Perun?

  5. #14
    @vc2013: I get what you're saying, though I don't agree with all of it. And I want to add, it's not like I forced my husband into giving our son an Icelandic name. In fact, we were planning on giving our baby a more neutral, or cross cultural, first name, but Hjörtur was a name that was on my list and that he picked, because he liked it more than for instance Emmanuel.
    Also, none of MIL's children have a traditional African name. DH's name is Oscar, for example.
    Mother to Hjörtur Emmanuel

    Hlynur Gabriel * Gretar Johannes* Ragnar Felix * Remus Edgar * Jan Vakur * Hrafn Aron

    Vaka Susanna * Octavia Elizabeth * Greta Magdalena * Salka Jakobina * Karolina Maria * Johanna Charlotta

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