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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2017
    Posts
    1

    Planning for a baby.

    Hey guys! We are planning for a baby, now that it's over two years of our marriage. But, currently we are living in a small condo, which is actually apt for us at the time. Both my husband and I are working and we hardly spend much time at home. We both love travelling and are the party types. So, we are out all the time. Off course we need to change our lifestyle, but more than that we need to get a new place. However, both of us are pretty new to Calgary and are a bit ignorant about the mortgage proceedings here. Hence, would love to hear some good advice on it. However, we've managed to find this one mortgage brokerage firm. http://www.canadamortgagedirect.com/...home-purchase/ Hope, we get the best rates possible. Also, I need advice on how we can change our lifestyle. Should I consider leaving my job?

  2. #3
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Posts
    4,929
    I wouldn't consider a different job until after you are already pregnant and are sure you have another lined up or know that you are financially able to be a stay-at-home mom (if that's your plan).

    I say this because you don't know how long it will take you to conceive and then you might regret quitting your job. Also, a bigger home is nice to have, but also take into consideration that babies don't take much space at first so you don't have to immediately find a bigger place unless it's something that you want.

    Maybe start looking into costs for having a child, including price of delivery (if any), price of daycare (if you will need it), etc.
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  3. #5
    Join Date
    Jun 2015
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    526
    You might have better luck getting help in a local Facebook group than on here for mortgage related things.

    As for changing life style, just stop going out all the time or be prepared to hire a nanny or babysitter or pay for daycare. A baby is going to require you're attention 24/7 and you will not have time to go out and party anymore. Plus you aren't supposed to drink when pregnant, so cutting back now would be a good start to getting you used to it. Getting in travel you want out of your system now because with a baby you won't be going anywhere for awhile.

    As for the job, it's really up to you. I didn't quit working till I was 30 weeks pregnant. I went as long as I was comfortable. The extra income is nice to have. I am officially a stay home mom now as my husband does make enough to support us both.
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  4. #7
    Join Date
    Nov 2016
    Location
    Georgia, USA
    Posts
    434
    I guess the real question is, are you sure you're ready for a baby? yes, it's been two years since you got married, but do you want to give up your parties and travel? a new place can wait a little while, but these can't. Drinking is out when you get pregnant and if you breastfeed. Travel with a baby, while can be done, just seems very stressful. not to mention finding the money after the baby is here to do it.

    If you really want it, then it should just take some adjusting to not doing those things. Maybe start small? example: if you go out 4 days a week, then cut it down to 3 (and so on from there). start staying in more and maybe find a hobby to take it's place. I would try to adjust before getting pregnant so it will be more gradual.

    The job is completely up to you and what you both can handle financially. There is no set right or wrong way to do it. Whatever works for you and your family.
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  5. #9
    Join Date
    Feb 2014
    Location
    Reykjavík
    Posts
    1,575
    I disagree with the idea that, knowing you have to temporarily give something up you enjoy in the future, you should start cutting back before you're even pregnant to get 'used to it'. To me that sounds silly. Enjoy the things you enjoy whilst you still can. You have no idea how long it will take you to get pregnant. For some healthy people with no fertility issues it can take up to a year. Would you want to waste that time restricting yourself as if you were pregnant when you weren't? I made changes to my lifestyle and diet when I saw that positive pregnancy test, not before.

    On that same note do not give up your job before you're pregnant or even when you do get pregnant! Wait until you have an actual baby in your arms before making such a drastic decision. What are you going to do, just sit around at home taking pregnancy tests? It is not good to have either parent working very long hours when you have a child so if that's your situation I would maybe try to restore a healthy life/work balance for both of you, but otherwise it doesn't make sense to cut your earnings before you need to.

    Also don't look on a baby as a death sentence for your lives outside the home. There are such things as babysitters. Yes, you will need to make sacrifices and most nights you won't be going out. It definitely is a dramatic adjustment and the newborn stage is very intense. But you can go out every now and again and things get easier and easier as time goes on. Once your baby is a little older it's super easy to go out separately with your friends whilst the other one stays home. Travel might be a little pointless for a while, as when you have a newborn it doesn't really matter where you are, all you're doing is looking after a newborn anyway. But you can go away and have a less adventurous sort of fun once they get a bit bigger. We went to France when ours was 4 months old and it was nice. And the baby/toddler years are short. Travelling with kids has got to be a lot of fun, I think - more stressful than without them perhaps, but how wonderful to experience things together as a family. I have a lot of fond memories from family holidays abroad when I was a child and hopefully my parents were not having a completely terrible time either. They didn't seem like they were.

    But don't just have a baby because you've been married x amount of time and feel like that's the next step. Only have a baby if you can't bear the idea of not having a baby.
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