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Thread: Rough housing

  1. #16
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Quote Originally Posted by taz View Post
    I wanted to add that you should speak up in these situations...I would straight up say in hearing distance of the child's parents, "You kids are really rough! I think _____ is getting a little overwhelmed by all of this rough stuff cause we keep in gentle & nonviolent at our house!" at this point either the mom of the ruffians will step in or say some "boys will be boys" crap or she will be the one with her mouth shut silently stewing for the rest of the get together. Either way, you will have said your peace & taught your daughter to speak her mind when she feels uncomfortable which is IMO the most important thing to instill in girls!
    That's not speaking up though. That's being immature and passive aggressive. If you have a problem with something, then be an adult and go talk to the other parent. Making snide comments within hearing distance isn't setting a good example for your child, it's teaching them to act like a bratty mean girl.

  2. #18
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    I allow rough housing and my boys love it. However, its only fun when everyone is having fun. If your child is uncomfortable, teach her to say so. Have her say "No, I don't like that". If they don't listen have her come get you. Every child has the right to say they don't like something. Its actually an important thing to teach all children to help protect them from grown ups that would harm them - if something makes your child uncomfortable teach her to say so and find someone she trusts. This could be an innocent and relatively safe way to teach an important lesson.

  3. #20
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    @ebenezer.scrouge - You stated, "I recently went back to my hometown and realised just how violent country kids are."

    Wow, I am so sorry that that has been your experience. I live in the "country" a rural town in the Southwest United States, and if anything kids who grow up in the "country" tend to be more respectful. Have I seen rough housing from "country" children? The answer would be yes, but it was never to the point of it being inappropriate. And, in the town I live in I have seen adults get onto children (who weren't theirs) and ask them to stop any bad behavior and almost every single time the child stops immediately, even though the adult that asked them to stop is not their parent/guardian, teacher, or relative. I just say this because while you were speaking from your own personal experience, I do not think it's appropriate to label all "country" kids as violent.

  4. #22
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Western Australia
    @jtucker, its not too bad we were on an oval and the parents tend to turn a blind eye at these sorts of occasions. Keep in mind I'm fourteen and I was stirring them up because it is fun. These kids are all under the age of 10 boarding school should make them better in a few years
    Isobel | Eloise | Matilda | Lucia | Alice | Eleanor | Amelia | Felicity | Phoebe | Eilidh | Rosalia | Zoe | Azalea | Genevieve | Tallulah | Everleigh | Rebecca | Leila | Harper | Grace | Zara |
    Eamon | Hayes | Tiago | Cooper | Lawson | Archer | Lincoln | Asher | Alfie | Baxter | Taylor | Flynn | Lewis | Fletcher | Jack | Harley | Brooklyn | Regan | Oscar | Spencer |

  5. #24
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    @taz, that is not the way I have handled things. I do speak
    Up because the majority of kids in question are family so I'm not worried about offending people. But I would NEVER says you are getting too rough for my daughter... That would single her out and make her feel awful! I tell the kids they need to calm down or take it easy all the time. I don't have it in me not to! It's like an instinct to react and tell them to calm down or take it easy, if my child were there or not.

    @pansy, yes I talked to the parents about my concerns and they will curb their kids a bit at my house but otherwise they don't. It comes down to a different way of doing things and different comfort levels of what is acceptable. I think some of it has been good for my daughter to learn our way is not the only way and she does back away when they get too rough... Usually. But she gets caught in it at other times and I feel badly because its just not her personality to be so rough.

    @alzora, keeping her away from it is nearly impossible. These are her cousins and very best friends that she is so thrilled to see so I could not keep her away. When I ask her afterward about the play she never says its too rough, I think for fear I might keep her out of it. At my own house I keep them from going upstairs in the bedroom because that is where they go nuts...
    At other houses the other parents are happy when the kids go upstairs bc they are out of the way. Sigh... It's a parenting conflict.

    I'm not completely opposed to some roughhouse play, I just feel like the play I'm seeing is overboard and I guess I'm try into get perspective on what others feel is overboard or acceptable. Thanks for everyone that's responded so far, very interesting.

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