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Thread: Rough housing

  1. #6
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    My 3, for all my trying to teach them to be gentle and to not hurt each other, love rough-housing. They are between 3-7 years old so play together alot and it gets a bit crazy. We try and set boundaries so no one gets hurt. We also have the added issue that my DS2 has SPD, so doesn't have good coordination, balance or spatial/body awareness.

    We try to talk about how the little one isn't as strong and her big brothers need to be gentler with her, same goes for when they play with other children. We talk about reading other kids' body language and listening to what they say, if someone says no or starts to get upset it's time to stop or step away. This is something my DS2 struggles with so we talk about it alot.

    There are some things we don't accept: for example hitting, kicking and jumping on each other. We also talk about appropriate times and places to play and when they should keep their hands/feet to themselves. And when I or their father says 'that's enough' they have to stop.

    With boys it seems inevitable, as soon as they started nursery the other boys taught them to jump on each other and try karate moves. We just try and teach them how to deal with it in a way that they and others don't get hurt. My eldest also did karate for a while and they spoke alot about not using the moves to hurt other people. It's a constant uphill struggle, but hopefully they're learning from it. And yes, we have bumps and tears at times, but again it's a chance to learn, I guess.
    Mum to Mousie, Foo, Bumptious and Pudding.

  2. #8
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    @malk, thank you for that response. It completely makes sense that siblings will roughhouse play it is expected. Maybe the reason it seems foreign to me is my girls are 2 and 4 and haven't reached that stage yet. It's the 6 year old cousins, mainly, that initiate the play that is bothersome to me. I know there are some lessons to be learned through it all, I suppose its just new and a learning experience for both my kids and myself.

  3. #10
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    My girls are 3 and 10. I gently roughhouse with them on the floor, and the girls will roughhouse together, gently. Jessica will go lie down on the floor in the hall and invite Jemima to come play. I think it is nice to see them playing together, and it usually ends with Jemima getting her blanket and the two of them cuddling. My husband is older and does not engage in any active play with the girls at all.

  4. #12
    grecianern Guest
    My son is all about "wrestling" as he calls it. But we try to keep it gentle and on beds or floors. And because they do have physical play like this at his daycare, he has learned how to play gently with younger children.

    It's all about teaching them and not letting them become little monsters with no respect for physical boundaries.

  5. #14
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    My 1.5 year old is a pretty physical kid. I think it's part nature and part nurture. I never really ran to her when she would stumble or reacted to her falls. As a result she grew used to picking herself up and moving on. I never step in if a friend on the playground accidentally knocks her down or if she knocks someone down accidentally. I've never had a situation where anyone has knocked into her on purpose but I suppose I would step in if the child in question outsized her & was bullying as she is too young to stand up for herself. I think that minor scrapes can be a learning experience and it is sometimes challenging to hold back, but I allow my daughter to try to climb things that I know she can't climb, try things I can foresee resulting in falls. I think a lot of mom's of boys tend to do this in an attempt to "toughen them up", but I haven't met many mom's of girls who do...and I've met plenty of mom's of boys who hover & coddle!

    They say that there are "free range" parents & "helicopter" parents, but I haven't looked into either philosophy. I guess I am kind of both because my eyes are never off of my daughter, but I make the conscious decision to stand back and let her learn and play as I believe kids should.

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