View Poll Results: Which would you pick?

52. You may not vote on this poll
  • His

    26 50.00%
  • Hers

    5 9.62%
  • His-Hers

    6 11.54%
  • Hers-His

    15 28.85%
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Results 16 to 20 of 30
  1. #16
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Ohio, USA
    I have a cousin who has two daughters and they have different last names, one for his and one that's his girlfriend's. The daughter with his girlfriends surname rhymes with the child's middle name (Lynn is the middle name). I agree with @tannaz it should be whichever sounds the best flow-wise, but don't use one surname for one, then use the other for another child. Pick one that you feel comfortable with and flows well with names you and your boyfriend like.

    Current Favorites
    August - Daniel - Erik - Heath - Leo - Ronan
    Eliza - Eve - Johanna - Lana - Matilda - Zanna

  2. #18
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Quote Originally Posted by augusta_lee View Post

    ...I would suggest that everyone who would go automatically to vote the child have his surname or her-his surname (knowing full well that the first name in a hyphenated surname is often dropped or ignored) give a long, hard look at their reasons.
    I agree with a lot of what you say, but I don't think you should get too judgey about parents who choose one of these options. There are practical reasons to go with his surname only, especially if the parents are married. While it would be nice for parents to be able to hyphenate without any logistical concerns, that's not reality. Hyphenated surnames can cause a lot of headaches for people who bear them. You can't undo a system that's several thousands of years old with good intentions, no matter how messed up that system is.

    As you said, many times the first surname gets dropped, but I have hyphenated-surnamed friends who've had the second surname get dropped as well. This is usually in conversation (using an example similar to a friend's name: Amanda Binecki-Gennaro is a bit of a mouthful, so I've heard people say or write "Amanda Binecki" when in a hurry.) I don't think there's a real reason other than personal preference to go with Hers-His or His-Hers: people aren't used to encountering two surnames in a name, so they'll have to be corrected no matter whose name is first. It's not malicious and a gentle explanation will stop them.

    One of my close friends has a hyphenated surname because she has same-sex parents. She often encounters one name getting dropped because her name is LONG, and regularly signs things "Firstname InitialInitial" instead of putting the full names. It never fits on paperwork and she's always having to explain it. I know that she wants both of her parents represented in her name and wouldn't change it, but it does bring a lot of day-to-day inconvenience to her. If both parents want to help their child avoid that, there's nothing wrong with that decision. I think that's the appeal of the combined surname option that I suggested earlier- both parents are represented and the name fits into the naming system that is familiar to most English-speakers, maximizing representation of both parents and minimizing logistical complication for the child.

  3. #20
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    I chose the His-Her option (as long as the names flow well together in that order). This option leaves no one out in the cold and both parents surnames are recognized. You could also use one of your surnames in the middle spot as well if you don't like to hyphen the two ln's or think one will be dropped on official forms.
    All the best,

  4. #22
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    I would hyphenate in whatever order they sound the best.
    Saoirse Lily ♢ Leona Daphne ♢ Alice Niamh ♢ Mira Tamsin
    Blaise Edward ♢ Percy Domhnall ♢ Ciarán Hector ♢ Séamus Jon

  5. #24
    Join Date
    May 2012
    lol, what would I do if I were in your situation? I'd get married.

    Honestly, I think you'll have problems with the surname no matter what you pick if it differs from one or both of you. So I guess the question is, who's more willing or able to deal with the irritation? Who will be taking the kid to the doctor more, to school events, to any place where both your surname and the child's surname is on the record--it should match that person if possible.
    Top Names: Benedict Calvin & Noelle Geneva
    Olivia/Livy : Darah/Bethel : Eve/Verity
    Eli/Solomon : Luke/Zane: Levi/Phineas
    Due in January!

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