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Thread: A thought about boy names
August 2nd, 2013 10:06 PM #11
So you're a gender essentialist who has elected himself spokesperson of all men and descended upon a female-dominated forum to scold us for having opinions you don't agree with on a subject you know nothing about? Yawn.Simon, Eloise/Louise, Faye, Judah, Thea, Felix, Iris, Cordelia, Roscoe, Lydia, Jasper, Phaedra, Adrian, Lucinda, Jane, Conrad, Wallace, Finnegan, Sylvie, Charlie, Dashiell, Juniper, Atlas, Matilda, Julian, Alice, Marlowe, Octavia, Jack, Marigold, Archer, Gabriel, Persephone, Raphael, Dov
Just a grad student, dreaming ahead...
August 2nd, 2013 10:57 PM #13Senior Member
- Join Date
- Aug 2009
- Midwest, US
While I agree with some of your sentiments, I have to say I disagree with your ASSumption that fathers are not involved in choosing names. My husband has 100% veto power and when we narrowed down our list, he was the one that made the final choice (over the name that I personally preferred). Is the name we chose prissy and awkward? Perhaps, in YOUR opinion, but in our peer circle of mostly engineers, scientists, doctors, and other intellectual-types, it will be very accepted.Mom to Sylvia Caron and Linus Roman
August 3rd, 2013 12:19 AM #15
August 3rd, 2013 12:36 AM #17
I'm a fan of giving boys boy names and girls girl names. As a girl with only brothers, I completely get where you're coming from -- masculine, non-ridiculous names are certainly easier to live with and create a better social environment.
But watching my brothers and their 'weird' names (this is an accurate statement for at least one of the two), having an uncommon, even rare name has helped them. They have learned how to deal with unwarranted negativity towards them, and developed a good sense of not giving a crap. Their names have been burdens to an extent, but they have overcome the burden with flying colors. It's a small amount of character building, but it has taken them a long way. They both had middle names to 'fall back' on, John and Maxwell, but they never did. Because their weird names became a part of their identity, part of who they are, what they've learned, and how they take adversity. Despite the teasing from their male peers, and numerous nickname attempts, their names are just that: theirs.
So while I won't give my child a name like Huckleberry, I certainly won't be naming him Jacob or David just to give him an 'easier' time. He will find friends with a name like Dashiel or Hector or Matthias, and they will be friends worth having.I'm not feeling incredibly profound at the moment. Check back later.
August 3rd, 2013 01:30 AM #19
LOL... I knew it was only a matter of time before someone called you an elitist or chauvinist. Welcome to Nameberry! While I understand what you're saying (I especially agree with the issue of names appropriate for the workplace... Berries often like to think that no discrimination ever happens in the world based on names, but discrimination among job applicants based on names is well documented), I do disagree a bit. My father, brother, and sister all fit the bill: they like quite common names (Brian, Dean, Kirsten, Ava, Eli, Isabella, etc.). My brother had many fights with his wife, as she wanted to name their son Emory or Brighton, both of which she learned about on online forums, and both of which he regarded as "much too feminine". My brother grew up with a unisex name, and while he has a job and is a well-adjusted member of society, one of his main requirements for a boy's name was that it would never be unisex. He was tired of being called Ms.___, having girls in his class with his same name, etc. He didn't want his sons to "fight an uphill battle", as he put it. On the other hand, I've had plenty of male friends come up with names that are unisex or rare in the U.S., including Axel, Maximus, Kalel (Superman's name), Oakleigh (girl), Madisyn (girl), Ellis (boy), etc. So I tend to think that this has more to do with individuals than men vs. women. I do agree, though, that some names thrown around on here are quite crazy... but people like to think they are out of the box thinkers, and try to deny that it can negatively impact their children at all.
However, the U.S. is becoming more racially and ethnically diverse... so names are also becoming more diverse. While DH is Persian, I wouldn't necessary want to saddle the kids with a clearly Iranian first name... In the case of political problems, it's easier to navigate American culture with a name that is not clearly Persian (such as Soren, Kian, Parisa, etc.) or an English name. I really wish both men and women would stop and think to themselves "Is this name fair to my child? Will it saddle them with ANY kind of an unnecessary burden? Are there any ways I can reduce the burden?"Currently exiled from the US
Emiliana Pari 郑煜曈 '14
EDD: Oct '17
XY: Edmund Kaveh
XX: Solenne Mitra, Honora Katayoun