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Thread: Young Moms

  1. #31
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    I second a previous poster who said that as long as the parents can support their baby financially and emotionally, their age shouldn't matter. Life throws different things at different people. I have been incredibly fortunate in my life, and I think it frankly rude to force one's lifestyle choices upon others by judging them, especially when you can know nothing about their situation at all.

    *steps off the soapbox*

    Phew, sorry about that. I felt it had to be said

  2. #33
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    My mum had my eldest sister at 18 and had my youngest brother ar 39. She's currently 45 and a grandma already to the babies in my signature. She loved being a younger mum and also loved being an older one to my brother Darcy. We are aged between 27 and 6. My sister Miki just had her first shes 23, my sister Jaxie has two children and shes 25 and her girls are around 11 months apart and my eldest sister Charli had her first at 25. So my family tends to have children younger. I'm fifteen and nowhere near ready to have a child though give me around 12 years.
    Milly 15 year old name lover

    Currently loving: Annabelle Talitha and Lawson Edward.

    Aunty to: Emma, Samuel "Sam" and Sophia "Soph"
    Catherine "Cricket" and Elizabeth "Zibby"
    and Jane

  3. #35
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    New Zealand
    Quote Originally Posted by 4815162342 View Post
    This exactly.

    After being with my partner for 4 years I accidentally fell pregnant last year at 23 and had my daughter in September.

    I am considered young to be a mother in the society that I live in and am the only one of my friends to have a baby. I find it quite alienating to be honest as all of the 'young mums' play groups are filled with teenagers living on welfare or with their parents, and the regular playgroups mums are all mid 30's to 40.
    I can relate to this. I don't think the poster was being disparaging about teen mothers so much as just stating the reality of the young mum's groups that she has been to. I found the same thing. It wasn't that I looked down on teen mothers but that I lived a different life to most of them, and I was also 23 compared to say, 18 or so. And then in the regular playgroups the women were much older than me. Age may be 'but a number' but it does often lead to different interests. The teen mothers I knew were still interested in partying and dating, the older mothers were all very settled and interested in returning to their careers. I have made friends with mothers of all ages, but it is true that women having kids in their early twenties are few and far between in my neck of the woods. I've just become used to being the odd one out.
    Two small people, Mila Arden and Cato Bennett.

    If I had a baby tomorrow...
    Atlas Adair or Lyra Sylvie

  4. #37
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    I guess that as long as you are happy, emotionally mature, and financially stable it doesn't really matter how old you are when you have a baby. Frankly there are things that can't be postponed (becoming a professional athlete or musician, having a very skilled career — it's difficult to start studing medicine or engeneeiring 10 or 12 years after finishing high school) —*but why should having kids stop you from travelling?? You just have to adapt yourself to your circumstances!

    I do think romanticising 1940's and 1950's America is a dangerous —*surely you realise not all women spent their time playing with children, knitting, and baking pies like Snow White. In those days many woman were basically domestic slaves who went from being controlled by their father to being controlled by their husbands and had to sacrifice personal dreams and tastes for the family and an unattainable sense of domestic perfection (the rich women, at least —*the poor, the minorities, and those whose husband walked out had to had jobs). See also: "The Feminine Mystique". It was a pretty dark age for women. I reckon many men and children were pretty unhappy as well.

    Finally, I think it's neither sensible nor realistic, in the 21st century, to expect a man to financially support you for the rest of your life. (Again, this may be my cultural bias showing —*as I've explained in other posts, in my country being a housewife is very looked down upon.)
    Arabella, Thibault, Sophia, Alfred, Eleanor, Rémi, Charlotte, Achille, Olivia, Clement, Elizabeth, Frederick, Maud, Benedict, Adèle.

  5. #39
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Interesting to see everyone's different opinions! I daydream about the 40s and 50s because it was a simpler time, and I, personally, would have fit in well because of the fact that career isn't huge to me and I would've been quite content with the stay at home lifestyle. Of course I realize that it is not for everyone. And women didnt have much of a choice back then, and that isn't right either! Women should be able to do anything they desire, and i fully agree with this! All I meant was that there is such a stark contrast. Back then you were expected to have kids, stay home, cook and clean. Now you are expected to go to college, have a career, and make a name for yourself. Back then, people who wante to do what you can now, could not. And today, if you choose not to follow the 'norm' you are looked down upon as well. I don't think one or the other is right. I think you should be able to choose a path that it is right for you without being judged. So maybe that was more the 60s era lol.

    Milasmom- I don't mean to argue or anything, I just meant that the way it was stated was a generalization, which I am not a fan of. Again, this probably stems from the fact that I have never fit into generalizations. I will be 20 with a baby. I am married. I have no desire for partying, drinking, going out, etc. most of my friends are actually in their mid twenties, I guess because I don't fit on with the 'younger crowd'. I hated high school, hated the drama, hated it all! I used to walk around saying 'I hate teenagers' and every now an then someone would remind me that I was one! Everyone has always called me an'old soul'. That is why I said age is but a number. I suppose you are correct that a large portion of moms in their teens are NOT in any way ready for a child, and in addition are not ready to grow up to take on the responsibility. It just sort of hurts my ego a little when things like this are said, because I am automatically grouped in with all of those negative associations, you know what I mean?

    That being said, I completely know how it is not to fit in as well! Even though I may be closer in age to all of those teen moms, I by no means will fit in at all with their lifestyle and attitude. And I also will not fit in witht the older crowd either. But oh well!
    Last edited by bostonsavvy; July 5th, 2013 at 01:21 PM.

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