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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Aug 2012

    What did you do with the first, when you had your second?

    Hi Berries,
    DH and I are currently TTC (see signature below) and here is my question: What did you do with your older child/children when you had your next baby? We don't live in the same city as any of our immediate family. MIL (lives 5 hours away from us) has offered to take Hal with her for a week, while we get settled. My mother will likely be with us when we bring new baby home. However, I'm still not sure I want Hal to miss the whole thing. He (hopefully) will be around 2 1/2 years old when we have the new baby. Any thoughts or advice is appreciated. Is it better for him to be with us and experience coming to the hospital to visit me and the new baby? Then be a part of the process when we bring new baby home, or would it be better to send him away for a little while and focus on bonding with the new baby, then help him be a part of it when he gets back? So confused!! I'm looking forward to hearing what some of you have done. Thanks!
    It's Official: Mother of Two, now
    Harold Jonathan, nn
    and Kurt Matthew!

  2. #3
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    I understand your thoughts about wanting your eldest to be part of the experience when the baby is born, but I would say it depends on your birth, length of hospital stay etc. When I had my 2nd my daughter was 22 months. My mum came and stayed with my hubby and daughter while I was in hospital (which was always the plan when I went into labour). However, what I didn't anticipate was how difficult my daughter found that time when visiting me in hospital. Being confined in a room for longer than 10 minutes for a toddler.....well, was shocking! But the harder part was when she left me. Tears galore. Which made it hard for me too. I had a difficult labour with my 2nd which resulted in me staying in hospital for 7 days. My daughter thrives on routine and this big change really challenged her. Remember though, she was really only a baby herself when I had my second so perhaps your eldest may find it easier. This still occurred even though my mum is one of her favourite people and we thought that would make it easier for her. with planning number 3, I'm not sure what will happen. My mum will still come to stay but I think I will keep the kids in their normal routine (preschool, bed times, activities etc) and not make it all about the baby!

    Hope this helps!!
    Mummy to the gorgeous Alice Heather and the delicious Harry George

    Bubba #3 due March 2014! Finalising short list of favourite names!

  3. #5
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    New Zealand
    I'm planning on having a home birth with our daughter present, if she wants to be. She can go elsewhere in the house if she wants or maybe someone else will take her out for a break. I'll either have my dad or one of my friends around to look after her.
    Two small people, Mila Arden and Cato Bennett.

    If I had a baby tomorrow...
    Atlas Adair or Lyra Sylvie

  4. #7
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    No kids, but as the eldest sibling I remember what happened when my sisters were born. Well, sort of. My grandma (who lives two hours away, so not exactly close) came and stayed when my mum was close to her due date. My dad went to the hospital with my mum once she'd gone into labour, and I don't remember what happened the first time (I was two) but when my youngest sister was born, I remember my grandma picked me up from nursery and took me and my other sister (I was 4, she was 2) to the hospital on the bus to see the new baby. I'm not sure if that was the day she was born (she was born in the night) or the next, and then we didn't see them until she came home, but they were only in hospital two or three days anyway. I think it was important to my mum to keep a routine for the older siblings, if they go to preschool/nursery etc keep that going, because a new baby is going to be unsettling enough. I really can't remember how I reacted when my other sister was born, I was too young to, but I know I bonded with my youngest sister and didn't feel left out or anything.

    Anna Katherine * Lydia Ellen * Zoe Madeleine * Phoebe ___ * Imogen ___ * Emilia ___
    Samuel * Thomas * Charlie * Reuben * Oliver * George

  5. #9
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    We're lucky enough to have family living close to us. When I decided it was time to go to the hospital we just dropped Amelie off at my in-law's on the way. She stayed there the night Daisy was born because my DH stayed at the hospital with me. Amelie didn't meet Daisy until the day after she was born.

    I can't think of anything more stressful than having Amelie present for labour/birth. While I was labouring at home I let the tv babysit her and tried to keep her away as much as possible. I wouldn't want her at the actual birth, she's too young, would almost certainly get bored and need to be kept busy, and frankly, it was all I could do to concentrate on the baby I was trying to give birth to, let alone watching my older child, making sure she wasn't scared and keeping her entertained.

    Amelie Clara (2008) & Daisy Madeline (2013).

    Alice Tallulah, Polly Matilda, Rosalie Faye, Lucy Annabel, Maya Lillian, Hazel Kate, Eva Blossom, Juliet Lila, Ivy Camille.
    Charles Joshua "Charlie", Theodore Samuel "Teddy", Elliott Daniel, Noah Zachary, James Oscar, Arthur Philip, Rowan Isaac.

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