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  1. #16
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    I wanted to be married, finished college, jobs we could see ourselves in for the foreseeable future (not hopping around), geographically stable (we own a home which was a bonus, I would have been happy knowing we were somewhere we wanted to stay for at least a few years), and feel like we had adequate savings (obviously subjective, but to the point we were comfortable and I wouldn't worry). We also wanted a few good "just us" years after getting married, we got 4 of them.
    Olivia Józefa: July 2013 . Expecting #2: July 2015

  2. #18
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    London, England
    Whosa, who knew marriage was so important.

    Roo was a surprise but as we didn't have an actual plan that's fine. I like having a surprise baby, makes her feel more special to me. The only two things I've known I wanted before having a child is to be healthy (mentally and physically) and to be at peace with myself, so I'd have enough strength and love to take care of a child. Having the man I love and who loves me is great too, but if I'd hit 35 with no man in sight, I'd go ahead on my own. A place to live is of course a good thing, but I never cared about renting or owning, and whether it's a flat or a house. Having been able to have the lifestyle I had in my twenties is great, I'm happy I got to do lots of traveling, living in different cities, had relationships with lots of different men, do different kind of jobs that's broadened my horizon, been able to be a little selfish... Sleep until 4 in the afternoon and spend all my income on shoes. I've got two degrees, enough money, no loans and we own our house, so it is pretty ideal, but they were never requirements. I know people without degrees, renting their homes, unmarried who have children, and they're lovely families. I think there's a lot of over thinking when it comes to babies.
    My darling Marian Illyria Aphrodite, March 2013 & Little Bunny (a girl!) due 9th of February 2014

  3. #20
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    New Zealand
    Quote Originally Posted by ottilie View Post
    I think there's a lot of over thinking when it comes to babies.
    This! So much. It's like, "my life must be PERFECT or my child will be screwed up FOREVER."

    I have never been into settling down, staying in one place for the rest of my life sounds like a nightmare to me. So far our daughter loves being nomadic as much as I do.
    Two small people, Mila Arden and Cato Bennett.

    If I had a baby tomorrow...
    Atlas Adair or Lyra Sylvie

  4. #22
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Finish college/graduate school. Get married. I thought owning a house would be nice too, but it wasn't all that necessary. Waiting a little while before we bought a house turned out to be a good thing for us.

  5. #24
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    New England
    Quote Originally Posted by milasmama View Post
    This! So much. It's like, "my life must be PERFECT or my child will be screwed up FOREVER." .
    I don't think anybody was saying that. Some people feel more secure and therefore in a better place to have children when they have certain ducks in a row. I think that's what everybody is saying.
    Zoe Milena and Lucas Emmanuel

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