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  1. #26
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    I am loving this thread! Thank you encore, for starting it and thank you to all of you who have added your input. I am not a mother yet, but I am working on my undergrad right now and planning/hoping to go to law school after that. I would love to work in the legal few for a few years, but then I think I would want to be a SAHM.
    Not expecting, just planning and building lists!

  2. #28
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Los Angeles
    I don't stay home nor do I ever wish to do so, but I do think there are a couple of things to take into consideration. Firstly, there are a great, great numbers of jobs/careers/professions where you cannot sit out for a few years and ever hope to get back in in a meaningful way. Mine is certainly like that. Secondly, even if returning to the workforce is an option, many jobs require evidence of continuing education-- keeping up with the changing times, retaining certification, pursuing professional opportunities-- to retain membership in whatever field it is.

    In general, the more highly remunerative a field is, the higher the barrier of entry and the more competitive internally it is. Sitting out for 5+ years not pursuing any professional opportunity will place you at the exact bottom of the heap when trying to get back in.

    Even in high-earning fields you might not be able to afford staying home. Law school in the US costs on average about $140,000, and medical school costs $200,000. An MBA might run you $80K. Other Masters degrees, in public policy, public health, journalism, etc run between $40 and $100,000. Coupled with the cost of undergraduate education, if you finance your studies with loans you could easily have student loan payments topping $2000/ month (I personally know doctors who went to bad medical schools and who had to borrow every dime of their education who pay $4000/ month and will until they're 60). I would be very, very leery of attaining these degrees with no plans of using them, or using them for only a short time (too short to pay back your debt) and then staying home.
    Blade, MD

    XY: Antoine Raphael; Julian Victor
    XX: Cassia Viviane Noor

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  3. #30
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    I just also wanted to say that I don't think that a college degree is always necessary, and that you shouldn't get yourself into enormous debt for a degree that has no clear benefit. There are exceptions, but a good rule of thumb is to never pay for an advanced degree. You don't want to be subsidizing the education of the students the school thinks will actually achieve something, just so you can end up with something to hang on your wall. And yes, of course, degrees and very enriching and so forth, but it is completely possible to be an educated person without ever paying tuition. The library is free. It is also possible to have multiple degrees and still be an unenlightened bozo.

    There are many ways to make a living and not all of them require a degree. My husband has one sister who manages a fancy restaurant, and a brother who is an electrician, and both of them make about the same as he does w. a masters degree. BUT I also think that if you know that you are going to want a degree for whatever reason, it's best to get this before you have kids. Whether or not you have a degree, it's a good idea to have a plan. What will you do when the kids are in school? What about when they are grown? What is your contingency plan for when life doesn't work out the way that you thought it would? It is also good to have something you do with your brain outside of having kids.

  4. #32
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Flitting between the Heartland and the South
    I’m really enjoying all the opinions on this thread.

    My husband is currently getting his bachelors degree in Theology (online Seminary) and I have an associate’s degree in general studies (woo hoo). I have taken the last year off hoping that I could figure out what I want to do, and I still have the same answer: Writing. Which, incidentally, is one of those “Starving Artist” professions.

    We have also been TTC for the last eight months (with no luck) and I have toyed with the idea of going back to school just for a change and to get my mind off of children. Personally, I love going to school (I’m weird, I know) I love learning new things and soaking up information. However, I live in a very small town and just to go to college I have to drive an hour and the colleges don’t offer Creative Writing Degrees. The main focus here is on Nursing (not my cup of tea) or Education (which I’ve considered, but I can’t talk in front of people without being in physical pain). When I was in college, I took every English, Creative Writing, and Journalism class that they offered, so I’ve exhausted my options here unless I move two to three hours away.

    My mother worked from home when I was young. She designed websites and she got to take care of my brother and I, and I wouldn’t trade that for the world. My MIL was also a stay at home mom and my husband and I have always wanted our children to have that same experience. I’ve always wanted to be a mother above anything else and, if our financial situation allows me, I will stay home with my children until they are of school age.

    For right now I’m pretty happy with my job as a full time Legal Assistant. And I’m still writing and reading constantly, so I’m still doing things that I love. Honestly, I think doing what you love is really the most important thing. If you love your career, stick with it. If you love staying at home with your children, do it. Whatever you love to do is your calling, and you should do it to the best of your abilities.
    TTC #1 since October 2012...
    Cecelia, Lydia, Clara
    Adric, Isaac, Silas

    "I'd rather be honest than impressive."

  5. #34
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    I have 2 degrees, I worked 13 years before becoming a mum. With my first 2 children I taught a few evening classes once they were older and the occasional morning class when they were over a year just to have a bit of life for me, but since my DD was born almost 3 years ago I've been a SAHM and will continue once this baby is born. I've been the main bread winner sometimes, other times it's been my other half. He currently has a very good job so we can afford to have me at home. It's not forever and I would struggle to find much work here in Finland anyway since I don't speak the language well, but I'm happy with how my work/mum balance has worked out. I will go back to work once this baby is around 3, this will give me time to learn Finnish better and make more contacts.
    Mum to Mousie, Foo, Bumptious and Pudding.

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