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  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2013

    NOT finding out the sex

    Hi there, I'm new here so I hope I'm posting this in the right spot..
    With our first child my husband and I found out the sex at 20 weeks and immediately were bombarded with name "suggestions" and "opinions" from our families that ended up pushing us away from a name we really loved. We plan on TTC baby number 2 as soon as he is home from deployment and we are seriously considering not finding out the sex of the baby and keeping it a surprise until birth. I would love to hear from parents who have done this, particularly anyone who has found out the gender of one baby but not another.

    what was your experience with it? would you recommend it? pros and cons?


  2. #3
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    I don't have kiddos yet, so I'm probably not your first choice of answerer. But these are my reasons/pros for not finding out with a possible future baba:

    - why do you really need to know?
    - the aforementioned family name arguments shouldn't be as bad
    - the 'I'll bond better with the baby' argument sounds a bit ridiculous to me. What, so if I don't find out the sex it means I won't bond with my kid?
    - why do you need to know the sex to bond with the baby anyway?!
    - what happens if you 'bond' with a girl baby who turns out to be a boy baby?
    - there won't be disappointment with a baby of the 'wrong' sex
    - why do we have to start pigeonholing the poor baby before it's even born?
    - parents have been having, loving and bonding with children quite happily for thousands of years without knowing the sex
    - the other argument of being prepared with the pink/blue nursery and pink/blue baby stuff is just impractical and wrong
    - finding out the sex is a bit like opening all your presents before christmas
    - I love surprises

    I think, really, I'm very traditional and want it to be as natural as possible. But just do what you feel is right for you

  3. #5
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    We didn't find out the gender with this baby. I much prefer not knowing. I know some people prefer to plan, but really, there's only so much planning you can do for a newborn. Besides that, most newborn clothes are gender neutral so its a null point.

    I completely agree with every single point @charlieandperry1 made. Should we have another child after this, we'll take the same route of not finding out.

    Amelie Clara (2008) & Daisy Madeline (2013).

    Alice Tallulah, Polly Matilda, Rosalie Faye, Lucy Annabel, Maya Lillian, Hazel Kate, Eva Blossom, Juliet Lila, Ivy Camille.
    Charles Joshua "Charlie", Theodore Samuel "Teddy", Elliott Daniel, Noah Zachary, James Oscar, Arthur Philip, Rowan Isaac.

  4. #7
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    -not a mom, sorry for butting in, I love this topic!-

    When I grow up I plan to be Team Yellow for all of my pregnancies, if it works out that way. I think it's sweet to be able to go through the delivery and have that surprise at the end. I am also horrible at making decisions so I like the idea of being able to bring 10 names (five for each gender) and choosing the name of my baby based on what they look/act like after meeting them. I also think at your baby shower you wouldn't be well, showered, with gifts all pertaining to a certain gender. I also love gender neutral nurseries.

    I guess it depends on the person, and if you're impatient or not. I can see it being hard for people to not know the gender through the months of their pregnancy, especially when they're at the stage where all they have to do is call in and ask for an appointment to see the gender.
    Catelin Geneva
    10th grader

    Top Combos: Rowena Story and Atlas Fox

    Circe ; Isolde ; Freya ; Sansa
    Magnus ; Casimir ; Ronan ; Atlas

  5. #9
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Well, my opinion won't carry much weight because I've never had a baby, but my husband and I are TTC at the moment and definitely plan on finding out the sex of the baby. My SIL (husband's sister) recently had a baby and didn't find out the sex. I remember walking into baby stores to look for presents and walking out empty handed because it's impossible to find anything gender neutral. My husband and I went to Hawaii while she was pregnant and tossed up whether to buy a (rather expensive) baby dress, but decided against in case she had a boy. Of course, she had a girl! At the time, I thought I'll definitely find out what I'm having because it'll make preparations so much easier. I don't want to buy everything gender neutral. However, I don't plan on revealing the sex to anyone except (maybe) our immediate families (only if they want to know). I worked with a guy whose wife was pregnant and everyone knew they were having a boy named Caleb before its birth. When she had the baby, it was weird because people didn't really know how to react. So, I definitely wouldn't tell others beyond my immediate family. Also, I have absolutely no intention of discussing names with anyone apart from my husband! I might have a few vague conversations with my mother, but I think there should be some surprises, and I don't want to be discouraged from choosing a name I really love because my brother/father-in-law/mother doesn't like it! My SIL didn't announce her name choice until after her baby was born and we've had no name discussions at all, which I think is the best way! No discussions, no conflicts
    ~ Violet Elizabeth Rose ~


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