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  1. #36
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Flitting between the Heartland and the South
    We had a New Year’s Eve wedding. Our colors were black, champagne, and a red-violet-wine color. I had honestly never planned on a winter wedding, but I love how it turned out. We had A LOT of candlelight and white lights that were draped and hanging from anywhere that we could put them. We also wrapped white lights in champagne tulle and ran them down the aisle.

    Although we didn’t do a Christmas-y theme we did have a lot of garland and evergreens with lights wrapped around them along with tulle in the champagne and red-violet color. For centerpieces we used candles and colored bottles with iced branches sticking out of them. For the reception we just did cake and punch. Where I live (a poorer part of the country) it is very very unusual to have a meal at a wedding. The most you ever see is just finger foods and cookies along with the cake and punch.

    We also had very few flowers (seeing as it was winter). The flowers we used were for my bouquet and a single lily for each of my bridesmaids (and they were fake!). The only other flowers in the wedding were the ones on my dress.

    My biggest advice would be to utilize any skills that your family or friends may have as much as possible. Lucky for me my MIL used to plan weddings and she knew a lot of where to put decorations and she also made our wedding cake. My mother is also a very crafty person and we put together many of our decorations from her vision.

    Also, make sure you completely LOVE your photographer. I love my wedding pictures, but I honestly feel like she has put more work into the other weddings that she has done compared to mine. She wasn’t willing to do any of the unique shots that you see on Pinterest and didn’t suggest anything like that to me at all. She also didn’t inform me that my pictures were ready and up on the website for me to choose from until my time had expired and I had to pay her more to just LOOK at them.

    I will also tell you what I’ve told my friends since I’ve gotten married; no matter what goes wrong (because something WILL go wrong. Not to dampen your spirits, it’s just the truth) at the end of the day, you’re going to be married to your best friend who is waiting for you at the end of the aisle, and that’s all that matters.

    I do have to say though, ottilie, a wedding in Italy sounds AMAZING! I’m sure it will be gorgeous!

    Okay, I thought I had images in this post, but apparently technology has outwitted me once again....
    TTC #1 since October 2012...
    Cecelia, Lydia, Clara
    Adric, Isaac, Silas

    "I'd rather be honest than impressive."

  2. #38
    cristinamariane Guest
    @moonkai, I loooooove this! Now I feel inspired to share pics too, since we went with a woodsy kind of feel too. =)
    Last edited by cristinamariane; April 30th, 2013 at 10:17 PM.

  3. #40
    cristinamariane Guest

    I agree with @violetink - something probably will go wrong. I was engaged and planning the wedding for 17 months, and yet, almost everything went wrong. The DJ played songs we told him to not play but didn't play most of what we wanted, the person who made the cake got into a car accident and the cake smushed, the best man vomited on the floor behind our table, the photographer left early and I was sick the whole morning. lol. But it all worked out. Most of that stuff went unnoticed by the guests.

  4. #42
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    This is going to be loooooooooong because I'm venting So sorry guys, I just needed one of those get it off the chest moments.

    Quote Originally Posted by missusaytch View Post
    My wedding day was not the most perfect, wonderful, magical day of my life. It wasn't. And y'know what? I'm glad. I don't want it to be all a big letdown after that day. I gained 15 lbs. from stress-eating right before the wedding, I spent ALL my money, my dress got stuck in thorny vines when I was trying to get in place before the ceremony (I had to ride in the back of a pickup truck to get into the woods), I was hot and sweaty the whole time, my stepmother was extremely awkward... I mean, sh** happens. Find your happy place before you even start planning.
    Quote Originally Posted by missusaytch View Post
    See I was not into weddings at all until I met THE GUY. I never gave a crap about dresses or any of that. The new wedding industry boom is pretty new, y'know. My parents got married in a Baptist church with a cake-and-punch reception. And that was a BIG wedding in the late 70s. They didn't serve a meal. In fact my parents went thru a Burger King drive-thru after leaving the church, haha!

    This idea that everyone - not just members of "society" - needs to have a Vera Wang gown and a catered sit-down dinner is a very, very new development, and it's been sold to us by a multi-BILLION dollar industry.

    I had a v. minimalist wedding by a lot of standards (the average American wedding - AVERAGE! - costs somewhere around $26K; I spent about $7K) but if I went back I'd spend less. I really would. I regret paying $500 for that dress. I regret fretting my a*% off about the PERFECT DIY invitations and ending up spending $400 on them. (Insane.)

    You don't know how crazy glad and relieved I am to hear that I AM NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO FEELS THIS WAY!!! I thought I was the only girl in the entire world who would have to honestly say that my wedding day was not the best day of my life, and I have carried around SO much guilt for that.

    We were married last June, and it was absolutely incredibly stressful. We changed locations twice, the second time because after we'd already put down a deposit on these beautiful herbal gardens tucked away in the country (where they rent to you for the whole weekend, let you camp out on the lawn, have a little "honeymoon island" in the middle of a lake, and serve organic food that was growing in said gardens just hours prior....) my family (who live on the east coast) informed me that they wouldn't have the money to make the trip (I live on the west coast), so only my parents were planning to attend. I only see my family once a year, if that. I couldn't fathom getting married without them, and I was so distressed that we decided to move the whole thing to the east coast to enable them to be there.

    So all my planning was long-distance, all of my bridesmaids were long-distance, no bridal showers, no dress shopping with my mom, no florist meetings and cake tastings. We paid for everything ourselves, and I've always been told I have champagne taste on a boxed wine budget. I had this vision of an ethereal bohemian shipwreck theme, all mermaids and treasure, pearls and chiffon, rustic wood and shells and patinated metal (we were having the wedding on the beach) but didn't have the resources to carry it out. I did as many DIY projects as I could cram into the time and stressed myself to bits. We ordered bridesmaid dresses from an Etsy shop which turned out to be a scam (this is not to bash Etsy...I ordered half my wedding stuff from Etsy shops and this one was the only bad experience. My fault. I ignored the bad feelings about the seller's lack of history, and let the girls vote on dresses from three different shops because they didn't like my first choice. I know better!) so my MOH lost almost all the money she paid for the dresses (the girls were supposed to reimburse her) and we had to order new ones 3 weeks before the wedding, and they didn't arrive until the day before. There was just so much drama!

    I feel so guilty that I don't remember this as the "perfect day" because everyone helped me SO MUCH, and they all think it was perfect. I feel like the most ungrateful creature that I can't just forget the negatives and remember only the positive things. Like Miss H, all the weddings in both our families were in Baptist churches with blue carpet and pew bows...they didn't understand that the average American wedding is 10 times what we ended up spending. In their minds we were being extremely extravagant. Not only that, but everyone helped us SO much. My mom's relatives let us have the reception in their backyard for free, cooked a low country boil for free, made my cake for free, gave me free photography. How can I allow myself to regret the way our pictures turned out when they were a free gift? My mother-in-law threw us a beautiful reception in the church social hall when we got back to the west coast, beautiful because she cares and she worked so hard on it. I feel like a terrible person when I secretly regret that the only thing about my wedding that was Green Wedding Shoes worthy was the handmade invitations I spent a few hundred hours on.

    Quote Originally Posted by roseymaam View Post
    Thanks for starting this thread, Ottilie! I've been a little disheartened by wedding planning, but I'm finding all of the pictures and stories here sort of encouraging. We were supposed to get married in June, but the bottom sort of fell out of our finances. I had been planning for months and was fairly devastated when we had to postpone. We were planning on having it at the boat club where my mom has a slip. We were going to have people camp and play in the water all weekend. We were planning on having a catered picnic (little boxed lunches from the local bakery) after the ceremony.And my fiance had already gotten the circuit court judge to perform the ceremony and bartered legal services for the photography. But alas. It wasn't meant to be.

    I think one of the hardest things about planning a wedding is handling all the demands from friends and family. I know that when I heard horror stories about demanding mothers or bridesmaids before I started the planning process, I thought, "Well my family is nothing like that!" Boy, was I wrong. If I asked any advice or gave a hint of what I was planning, they were all over me with "helpful" "suggestions." I was taken aback by their insistence that they offer their opinions on every detail of my wedding. My mother always prefaces her advice with, "Well it's your wedding, do whatever you want to do, but..."

    Our new date is October 5, but my heart just isn't in the planning. I'm not sure I can go through that whole process again. I keep threatening to elope, but I think our mothers would kill us.
    Rosey, if you want to elope, DO IT. Don't let anyone talk you out of it!

    Looking back, that is my biggest regret. I wish that I had been able to disentangle myself from all the expectations of perfection, from the need to have everyone recognize one day in my life where my husband and I were the focus and it was "about us", from all the etiquette and proper procedure, and just go for it. If I could do it over, I'd spend the money on my dream dress, a photographer, and a honeymoon. We'd get married in the herbal gardens just the two of us, or run away into the forest somewhere and have a druid priestess draw down the moon for us, or anything beautiful and crazy and US. I'd have one day in my life where I was free from expectations, my own and everyone else's.

    My husband and I seriously considered eloping, but we felt like it was too late, that too many people were invested in making our wedding "a success." But we both wish we'd done it. I read this amazing book about eloping, and I almost went for it, but we had someone say to us that they had already spent money on our wedding so they would be angry if we didn't have one. (All the more reason why we should have done it, right? But I'm a pushover.) I would recommend the book for anyone trying to decide whether eloping is right for them. If we had followed its advice, we wouldn't have the regrets we have and I wouldn't be carrying the guilt of feeling like my regret means I'm being ungrateful for all the amazing things people did for me.
    Last edited by sleepysessha; April 30th, 2013 at 10:37 PM.
    Zion Nathaniel ~ Solomon Fable ~ Balthazar Wolf ~ Malachi Sparrow nn Kai ~ Tobias Rowan ~ Caspian _____
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  5. #44
    Join Date
    May 2012
    @Andrea, if you resize your photos to a decent size, you can upload them to this website: When it uploads, scroll down and hover over the links listed below the photo. Each link will highlight when you hover over it. Just copy the link that you want to use (I use the one that says "Hotlink for Forums (1)" and paste it into a Nameberry post.

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