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  1. #36
    sapphires Guest
    I'm not a mother {I'm only 16} but this is something I've always wondered.. I suffer from clinical depression, and my psychologist is speaking to a psychiatrist about prescribing meds, but I've always wondered if having depression already meant a higher chance of developing PPD? If anyone here knows an answer to this, then thank you in advance.

  2. #38
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Los Angeles
    @sapphires Yes, a previous history of a mood disorder (either major depression or bipolar disorder) is the strongest risk factor for PPD. In some case series up to 40% of women with major depression develop PPD. We have been talking a lot about this in the thread-- the importance of maintaining your medications if you're on them during pregnancy, the importance of educating your family and support systems about the symptoms, and on making things as easy as possible for yourself once the baby is born.
    Blade, MD

    XY: Antoine Raphael; Julian Victor
    XX: Cassia Viviane Noor

    Allaire * Emmanuelle * Honora * Lysandra * Marina * Rosamond * Serena * Sylvie * Thea * Verity / Blaise * Cyprian * Evander * Jules * Laurence * Lucian * Marius * Quentin * Rainier * Silvan

    Hayat _ Qamar _ Sahar _ / Altair _ Faraj _ Tariq

  3. #40
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    London, England
    Yes it does. I'm sure Blade can say more about it than I can, but for women with bipolar disorder, one in five develops ppd. It also, from what I gather, have something to do with how severe your depression is (but I'm not sure). I don't know how it is for other clinically depressed people, but I would assume it's more of a risk than people who have no history of depression.

    edit: ah, she already delivered!
    My darling Marian Illyria Aphrodite, March 2013 & Little Bunny (a girl!) due 9th of February 2014

  4. #42
    Blade that article hit home. The truth is, that unless we as women and mothers accept the help we need we could get just as sick as that mom. So sad and miserable and certain that she is making the world worse for herself and her child that she jumped out of a window.

    After Ramona was born I had PPD. Like several others, the major trigger was a combination of traumatic birth experience and breastfeeding failure. In the area I live in, there is not a single nurse midwife who has privileges with a hospital or works with an OB practice. I was much more comfortable with a nurse midwife handing my care and I wanted a natural birth, so our only option was driving 90 miles for every appointment and to the hospital, or a home birth. So we planned our homebirth. I was really excited, though it was a little "crunchy" for me, I did my research and my midwives were highly recommended by close friends.

    I went into labor at 6 pm on a Friday and by 4pm on Saturday my contractions were 1 minute on 1 minute off. And I was only dilated to a 2. Transferred to the hospital (a hospital I had never been to) around 7 pm and got an epidural and my water broken. 5 hours later I was at 6cm and then 2 hours after after that they checked me again and I was BACK at 3cm. Apparently my cervix had become thick and hard and was swelling. So around 6 in the morning on Sunday, I had a C-section, after 2 nights with no sleep. I had a bad reaction to the anesthesia and the first time I saw my daughter I was literally vomiting into my own hair and ear on the table while the doctor (who I had only met a few hours hence) sewed me up.

    And I think the PPD had started even then because all I could think was...I have ruined this moment because I couldn't stick it out at home. I am sitting here in the hospital slathered in vomit, with tubes everywhere and strangers looking at me naked because I couldn't take the pain. That was how much pressure I had put on myself.

    Then I couldn't breastfeed. Tears are running down my face 2 years later (albeit pregnant hormones raging) right now just writing it, because it still hurts. I grieve that I did not get that relationship that so many people cherish so closely. Ramona had what the 3 different lactation specialists and one board certified breastfeeding medicine specialist called "latch refusal". Meaning she screamed and refused the breast every time she saw it- starting about an hour after birth and continuing for about 3 days till I strapped on the stupid nipple shield that she loved but also kept her from ever latching properly. Add that to having a 9lb 13 oz born hungry baby, and milk that didn't come in for 7 full days (probably because of all of the trauma and exhaustion after my labor), and it just didn't work. The nipple shield killed my milk supply and despite nursing for an hour every 90 minutes, at her 2 week checkup she was 8 lbs.

    The next week we started bottle feeding and my sense of failure was so overwhelming I told my husband to make me an appointment. At the psychiatric clinic, at that point I felt like I was of no use to my own child, and I wasn't sure if there was any purpose to my continued existence. I knew it might happen, I have SAD, and there is a heavy history of major depressive disorder in my family (my dad and all 3 of my sibs). Matt and I had discussed it before the birth and I promised to tell him if I felt so bad I couldn't cope. And I kept my promise. I started antidepressants at 3 1/2 weeks postpartum and they definitely took the edge off.

    So we started the bottles and I started pumping. I pumped for 4 to 6 hours a day for 6 full months because I felt horribly guilty for not breastfeeding and sacrificing everything to pump precious breastmilk seemed to be the only way I could atone for such a heinous crime. My crunchy childbirth class had only told me how good breastfeeding was, and I had unwittingly been indoctrinated into believing that formula was poison. I had even taken a breastfeeding class. I was in no way prepared to cope with failure. I never had enough milk to meet demand, and I had 3 bouts of mastitis over those 6 months. I didn't exercise, hang out with my friends, or sleep through the night. I woke up in the middle of the night to pump for an hour (did you know the middle of the night pump is the most important when you are trying to increase your milk supply?) for 2 full months after Ramona started sleeping through it. At 10 weeks I was back working part time, pumping more than part time and doing all of the things that moms of newborns do, swaddling and diaper rash cream and trying to get her to take a nap that lasted more than 20 damn minutes. I was rarely happy but I learned to cope. We had friends and church but no family in the area and nobody that we could ask to just take over so that we could sleep.

    It wasn't until I stopped pumping I started to feel a bit more like a person. But what I wish I had done and what I would recommend to anyone reading this thread-is go to counseling!

    I started going to counseling a few months ago and though it is 2 years later I am realizing how much of that time I haven't processed or really healed from. Counseling was what I needed. I needed to cry and grieve and then give myself permission to let it go. I needed to hear someone on the outside say that I did all that I could. I needed to be reminded by my delightfully straight-faced grandmotherly therapist that it is absolutely necessary to my family for me to be kinder to myself.

    It is a crazy reality that antidepressants are cheap and easy and counseling is hard and expensive. For PPD I used both and would (and likely will) use both again but I will say that that 45 minutes every other week (even with my 60 dollar copay) is the most important thing I give myself, and it bears fruit in the lives of the rest of my family. I intend to stay in counseling indefinitely (even if its just once a month- which may be all I can afford)and already plan to make weekly appointments for a few weeks or maybe even a couple of months after the next one is born.
    Mama to my little bunny girl (3/2011) and my silly bubble girl (11/13). Baby BOY is coming 9/17!!

  5. #44
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    I breastfed on zoloft. Granted it was Violet who was a toddler at the time, but even if she was a,newborn she would be ok.

    Reading this thread makes me realize the support I have is not the norm. The hardest was after Seb was born since I was young, inexperienced, and didn't know any other mamas with wee ones really. This time especially I cannot even mention all the kindness shown, maybe because everyone knows how much DH is gone with work or school or maybe they are just nice, lol. But so far, my house has been at a level of clean I am comfortable with thanks to my pp doula, another friend, Andy and the kids (we keep dollar bills around for incentive ) and the only thing I have done is wash diapers and the random non throwaway dishes (got a lot of those in the last few weeks of pregnancy). Our cleaning lady (friend of ours) is coming next week and like it was mentioned, worth every penny. Bfing is going great, but I have lots of practice. We have been eating lots of take out and meals other people bring....i am totally picky about what we eat so just *deep breath* letting go of pizza 2 nights in a row and no veggies at lunch for Vio since somebody brought chips as a side etc.
    Married to my love since August 2001
    My lovely bunch of coconuts;
    Sebastian Elihu (7/02)
    Bronwen Eliza (2/04)
    Linus Ezra Graham (9/06)
    Violet Leona (1/09) and
    Wolfgang Levi (3/13)
    Always missing our Felix Emmanuel (10/10-10/10)

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