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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Location
    United States
    Posts
    1,784

    What do you look for in honor names?

    What are your criteria? Do you pick names of people alive? Of people whom you personally knew? Something else?

    I'm doing family tree research and keep coming across names that I like. However, especially going back towards the 19th/18th/17th centuries, I obviously have no "real" personal connection to these people. Do you think it would be okay to use the names anyway? Anyone else find themselves in a similar position?
    Alyssa
    06/2015, forever with my best friend <3 TTC #1
    List under construction!

  2. #3
    Join Date
    Jul 2016
    Location
    The Black Hole Known As University
    Posts
    2,284
    MMM.... Alright, I've been thinking about this particular question for a while.

    For me, I have strong (read: strict) criteria about using family/honour names.

    1. Must not have bad relationship with the person who held/holds the name or someone else who holds the name.For instance, I have a stepbrother named Taylor James I've pretty much cut off all ties to for reasons I won't state here, so Taylor and James are both out to me.
    2. Generally, must be names that the namesake would actually like. For instance, I have a stepsister named Bailey Dawn. I really like the spelling Baylie (as well as a GP Baelye) but not so much Bailey, but she hates all alternative spellings to Bailey (went on a rant once about it that was sort of amusing at the time) so Baylie is out.
    3. Must be a middle name, generally, with only a few exceptions that I'll get to later. Therefore, unless those exceptions come into play, first names I do like (Alyssa, Julia, Addison, or Sebastian as examples) are out.
    4. Must be a middle name that's only been used once in my intermediate family. For instance, I have a stepsister named Morgan Reed. I love Reed. I've used it in combos. It's on my middle name shortlist. I have a cousin and aunt on my stepmother's side that have the middle name Marie. Marie is still on my mn shortlist because they aren't intermediate family members and Marie has never been used in a two middle name combo in my family. Meanwhile, names from my mother or father's side of the family (or are the names of stepsiblings/parents) that have been repeated many times in either spot (Lee, Ellen, James, Joseph, Jacob, Robert, Albert) are all out. Morgan is out because it's a first name of a sister and Bailey's bf.
    4. Variants of first names are out unless in certain circumstances (the exceptions listed above) so names I like such as Morgana, Morganite, Kamiryn, Masen, Wiatt are all out.
    5. Nothing "expected" such as Lincoln or James. Lincoln is my mother's maiden name and it was one of three options if I'd been named a boy. James is my dad's and my nephew's middle names. I've already thrown it out several times at this point, but throwing it out again.
    6. First names or variants of first names must only be used if the family member passed just before the child was born or children born on a particularly siblings birthday, or has meaning to me of some sort that I really do want to pass on. For instance, Morgana and Morganite would be on the table again if (god forbid) my little stepsister passed before my hypothetical daughter was born. Andreas wold be definitely a possibility for a boy if he was born (or adopted) on my sister Andrea Britni's birthday, assuming my SO was okay with changing the name we'd picked out. Another option I like is Prosper Adrian Bradley, which I really love as a combo though Bradley isn't my usual style. The last exception is in the case of Belle. My mother was close to this woman (a friend's mother I think) named Belle (or some other Belle name. I don't remember exactly) and they passed just before/just after I was born. They didn't change my middle name to Belle but I know my mom somewhat regrets that. If I don't change my middle name to Belle or *something* Belle when I change my first name to Arsinoe officially it's definitely on my mn shortlist.
    6. Honour names must be used as middle names only (generally, unless it's in a similar fashion to Ellington Runa *name* as shown below.)
    7. I must actually like the honour name picked out. My mother's name, for instance, is Rebecca Ellen. I don't like Becca, Becky, Rebecca, Rebekah, or Reba. *name* Runa Ellington or Ellington Runa *name* would be alright.


    The only exception that bypasses all these rules is Charlotte, which I guess might still fit until the special cases clause. My parents wanted to nickname me Charlie after my grandpa Charles "Chuck" but didn't like Charlotte. Ironically, Charlotte is in my top ten favourites and I don't particularly like the nn Charlie. When I mentioned this to my mother her face just fell and Arsinoe Charlotte Belle is a front runner for my "what to change my name to" shortlist. So Charlotte has continued to remain on my list-- as a middle name though. Too popular now, though it wasn't even in the top 300 when I was born.
    Arsinoë, 19
    Anaxandra Cecily Reed | Annabeth Humility Urtė | Artemis Madeleine Jane | Ellington Demetria Louise | Elżbieta Violet Ruth | Miranda Charlotte Brielle | Onyx Matilda Persephone | Noelle Athena Clover | Primrose Aurelia Fawn | Alec Mercutio Foster | Alfred Lionel Garrison | Ciel Timothy Jackson | Edmund Nathaniel Scipio | Gilbert Apollo Demetri | Lovino Prosper Osiris| Nico Arthur Alois | Perseus Christopher Blaise | Seth Antonio Radley
    My Full Name List

  3. #5
    Join Date
    Nov 2016
    Location
    Greece
    Posts
    947
    I'm not a fan of honor names for several reasons
    My brother's name is Nikos and so was my grandfather's. While he was alive, it was weird and kind of annoying to have to call my brother "the young nikos"
    I also feel like the parents should chose a name because they really like it, not just because it belonged to their relative
    There's only one honor name that /I/ would use, my best friend's who is pretty much a sister to me, but I want to use it because I love the name and only as a middle

    Also, if the relatives are from centuries ago it (in my opinion) cant be considered an honor name, it's just a name you chose because you liked it
    - emil -
    greek teenberry

    ❀ Alessia Wren ❀ Annelie Maeve ❀ Ariel Olivia Mae
    ❀ Edeline Mae ❀ Elka Madeleine ❀ Emilia Opal ❀ Esther June
    ❀ Ingrid Josephine ❀ Junia Clarisse ❀ Madelief Greta
    ❀ Maja Florence ❀ Maren Olivia ❀ Nessa Madeline

    boys' list under construction!
    ♪ Eirik Flynn ♪ Emil Hunter ♪ Lars Evan
    ♪ Lukas Oliver ♪ Klaus Elliot ♪ Linus Robin
    ♪ Mathias Finn ♪ Milo Wesley ♪ Soren Elias

  4. #7
    Most of the names in my list are honor names somehow. For example Evan Alexander honors both my father and my brother. The first name is a version of my father's name as the middle name is my brother's. But Lily October is also a honor name, because October is the month my nanny was born. She has a name I really don't like, but I still want to honor her. I don't care if when people hear the name they don't think about my nanny, as long as I do. Same with Jack August. Jack is again a version of my father's name and August was the month my mother was born. She really enjoy summer and this month, and I have good memories of childhood related to it.

    I have also names of people alive and from deceased relatives, but only because those names are important names in my family. For example Rory Michael honors my great-grandfathers. I didn't knew them, but my father always told me how great men they were. I love the names and I love how they made my father happy, so that's why I want to honor them. Rose Josephine or Rose Victoria honors both side of my family. My great-grandmother, mother of my paternal grandfather, had a name similar to Rose. She died the year I was born, but I grew up hearing wonderful things about her. She had a pretty rough life but she was able to give my grandfather a good life after all, and I wanted to honor her. Josephine or Victoria would honor my paternal grandmother.

    I don't know how my relatives were named back in the 17th century, but if I knew, I wouldn't consider it a honor name unless that person did something remarkable or so and I wanted to honor that thing.
    Henry Alastair ¤ Jack Peregrine ¤ Theodore Johann
    Rowan Darcy ¤ Edmund Hugo ¤ Felix Grey

    henry ▫ jack ▫ teddy ▫ rowan ▫ ned ▫ fox

    Blythe Victoria ¤ Cecilia Rose ¤ Poppy Matilda
    Lily October ¤ Sybil Jane ¤ Margot Amelia

    blythe ▫ ceci ▫ poppy ▫ lily ▫ sybil ▫ margot

  5. #9
    Join Date
    Feb 2014
    Location
    Reykjavík
    Posts
    1,510
    We didn't use one for our first child, although I thought it would have been a nice idea, because we couldn't agree on one grandmother getting the middle name spot rather than the other. So we went with neither grandmother to save the argument. Elísabet is a version of my mother's name, so I consider it a small nod, but not really a proper honour name because it doesn't even sound similar (she is not Elizabeth) and you'd have to be a name etymology nerd to realise the link. I am pretty sure my mother does not realise the link and I didn't tell her, but I might mention it if we end up using the other grandmother's name for our second child (which I think we well might if it's a girl). Hopefully it would be enough to make her feel better if she got jealous.

    If our second child is a boy the middle name will almost certainly be Karl, which is an unambiguous honour name. Lots of people named Karl or Something Karl on my partner's side of the family (including my partner himself) and also my middle name is a feminine version of Karl so it's linked to both of us, which I like.

    In my book, the honour name has to be reasonably obvious. For me, I don't consider it to be much of an honour if it needs explaining, which is why I don't really count Elísabet. I don't mean that as a denigration of other people's less obvious honour names which I am sure mean a lot to them, I am just talking about my own criteria. I also definitely think it should be after someone whose life actually overlapped with yours or your partner's to some extent, someone you or your partner met and loved. Otherwise what does it mean.
    Freyja Elísabet - June 2015
    Little brother due August 2017
    Ideas: Benedikt - Elías - Emil - Jóhann - Matthías

    Other loves: Erlingur - Ingimar - Kjartan - Óskar - Róbert - Inga - Íris - Rósa - Salka - Sóley - Svala - Þórunn

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