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Thread: The LAST Name

  1. #26
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    I took my husband's last name. Most of my friends put a hyphen between thier own last (maiden) name and their husband's last name.

  2. #28
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Quote Originally Posted by cressida View Post
    I've also never fully understood the change-so-we're-a-family-unit logic. I mean, you and your husband know you're married, and your kids know you're their mother. It seems to me like all of the people who count are clear on who's who! Besides, family units and relationships are already defined in a multitude of other ways that have nothing to do with name.

    I agree with cressida here. For a long time my parents weren't married so my mom was X and I was Y. I never had any problems at school or anywhere of people not thinking my mom wasn't my mother.
    The Future Littles:
    Delaney Lynne, Mallory June, Bridget Victoria, Rachel MarloweBrandon Erich, Daniel Kent, Nolan ____

  3. #30
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    London, England
    We're not planning on getting married so not such an issue for me, but if we do at some point, it's highly unlikely I'll take it (we did have a chat about each of us adding the others name and thus making a family name). I love his surname, it's beautiful and lovely, but I'd feel weird changing a name I've had for almost 30 years. My surname is pretty badass and I really love it, for cultural reasons, historical ones and the fact that a lot of people in my family have carried it. And I would hate getting mail adressed to hon mrs. his name. Would creep me out!!!! We haven't decided yet if our children will have mine or his surname, or if we'll do both.

    Very few of my friends have changed their names, the only one who did did it because she married a man named D a r l i n g t o n and her maiden name kind of sucked.
    My darling Marian Illyria Aphrodite, March 2013 & Little Bunny (a girl!) due 9th of February 2014

  4. #32
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    DH is handy since we are driving so I can answer for both of us.


    This question is for all the MEN - Do you expect a woman take her husband's last name? Why or why not?
    "Most women I know either drop their last name and take the husbands, or, hyphenated the two. This is what I see most of the time, and in my profession I almost always see the 2 hyphenated names or one last name that is the husbands familys name. It depends on the couple."

    Now this question is for the LADIES - Did you take your husband's last name? Why or why not?
    I did. Just felt right to me. We married young (at 22) so its not like I had really made a name for myself or anything, lol. I don't regret it, and it was just something I felt like doing so I did.

    Our kids all have the same last name as DH and I of course.
    Married to my love since August 2001
    My lovely bunch of coconuts;
    Sebastian Elihu (7/02)
    Bronwen Eliza (2/04)
    Linus Ezra Graham (9/06)
    Violet Leona (1/09) and
    Wolfgang Levi (3/13)
    Always missing our Felix Emmanuel (10/10-10/10)

  5. #34
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    I am young so I probably won't be married for years and years. Anyway I don't really like the idea of changing my surname, but what I do will depend on a lot of things. Maybe the guy I marry would take my surname. I see no logical reason why they couldn't, although it's something I would be sure to discuss it with them and make a decision from there. There's also the question of what surname any kids would get.

    When I see my surname I don't consider it my father's surname, I just think of it as my birth name. The idea that having different surnames impact how close a family feels doesn't sit well with me because there are plenty of people who have a different surname to other families and have never felt apart from them. Similarly there are those who share a surname with a parent or sibling and don't feel close to them. I also really don't care about not being identified as a family unit by strangers. If they don't know you well enough to know who your family are, then they likely don't care to know. You (hopefully) know who your husband / wife / kids are; nobody else needs to.

    All in all, I might take his surname, he might take my surname, we might come up with a new surname, we might just keep our own surname. What does it really matter? There's no "right" way of deciding what happens to family names after marriage.
    Amber • 20 • UK • proudly autistic • #boycottautismspeaks
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