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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2010

    Your adoption experiences?

    Hello all,

    DH and I have decided that we would like to adopt in the future. Although our youngest was born in October, we are aware the adoption process can be lengthy and are now (slowly) beginning to gather information and advice before we take any official steps. We do not personally know anyone who has adopted so this is very new to us. There is a great need in our state and region for adoptive parents willing to consider African-American and multiracial children in the foster care system. This is the route we plan to pursue. We also know that we want to adopt a child between the ages of 3-8. If the situation arose we would be willing to consider a sibling group of two. Although DH and I have not discussed it, I would be open to children with minor special needs.

    That said, here are the questions I hope can be answered: What has been your experience adopting from the US foster care system? What books or other resources do you recommend on adoption? What do you wish you had known when you began your adoption journey?

    I look forward to your responses. TIA!


  2. #3
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    North Carolina
    I haven't personally adopted, but it's something I've always been interested in. I have always wanted to both have a bio child and adopt and like you, feel open to older children and sibling sets, of races beyond my own. From what I've read of other people's experiences, foster to adopt is more affordable than newborn adoption and it takes less time to get a child/children placed with you. However, the goal of the foster program is to care for children until their parents are capable of getting it together and taking care of them on their own. It may be a long wait until things are finalized and during that time it will be up in the air whether you get to keep these children you're falling in love with or if they'll be given back to their biological parents. Severing parental rights is not something that is taken lightly. I still think it is a wonderful way to go and that you'll be helping children who are considered less adoptable. Before you start, make sure you're prepared emotionally for the potential of a child being returned and/or for emotional issues that could arise from neglect, abuse or mixed feelings of love and loyalty to someone who wasn't able to be an adequate parent.

    I had a friend that was taken from his abusive parents and adopted at 8 years old. His adoption went smoothly, owing in part to how awful his situation was when he was pulled out of there. He's a good guy and well-adjusted as an adult, but definitely had some demons to face down.

    I applaud you and I hope things go well for you. You have the potential to offer a loving home, something every child deserves. I think it's smart to gather as much information as you can beforehand and it's good you're starting early. Good luck with expanding your family.

  3. #5
    Hi there. When I was 13, my parents decided to adopt, and we were planning to this three year old Indian/African girl named Saria, but she ended up being adopted. My parents sort of put the process on hold, but kept their status officially as Open to Adopt. When I was fourteen we found out that there was a dire situation involving a six-month old Caucasian/Indian (as in Asia, not Native American) that had been placed into CPS after her mother was killed. We adopted her and named her Hannah Sonya Abigail Croft. The actual adoption was a really tense, confusing, and fast time, as we really weren't expecting to adopt a baby. I took care of her when I wasn't in school and my mother took care of her the rest of the time. Hannah is now four years old, but I don't see her often as I was kicked out of my house (for being pregnant). I still babysit her sometimes, though, and my mom will leave Hannah at my apartment if she has to go out. I think it helped that Hannah was so young when we adopted her, but it is still haunting to think about what happened to her mother. I won't give you any details but it was gruesome. Hannah is nothing like that though. She's a little ray of sunshine. She has beautiful caramel-esque skin and dark silky brown hair and deep brown eyes. She loves princesses and sparkly stuff. She adjusted very quickly to our home, and we was malnourished and underweight, and we quickly managed to "plump her up" and get her healthy. Even though I don't live with her I'm still her favorite "sissy". I would definitely recommend a US adoption, but the younger the child, the easier the transition will be.
    Ivy Croft

  4. #7
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Sorry that I am just now getting back to this. Are fostering to adopt and adopting out of the foster care system one and the same? I've been looking at for information and didn't get that impression.

    No one on Nameberry has adopted?

  5. #9
    They are not. Fostering to Adopt is when you first take the child into your home as a caregiver, simply giving room, food, and a family for the child, but they are not legally your's. You can then make the decision to adopt your foster child. Adoption out of Foster Care is what it sounds like, a direct adoption removing the child from foster care and into your home.

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