Firstly, I want to say I am appalled at the professional patient abandonment you described in your thread. This is a very important diagnosis with lifelong ramifications-- you had a total thyroidectomy and node-positive cancer (most papillary thyroid cancer readily spreads to the lymphatics, so that it not unusual and doesn't have as bad a prognosis as in other cancers). For the rest of your life you will need thyroid replacement therapy and surveillance for metastatic or incompletely resected local cancer. You need to have your surgeon carefully explain both the intraoperative findings as well as go through the pathology report with you at your follow-up visit (the usual practice is to share results over the phone, but go over the report in detail at the post-op). And your endocrinologist will absolutely take the reigns; you will be followed by an endocrinologist for the rest of your life. You should not have to resort to google to understand the important and somewhat complex management of one's thyroid status s/p TT. Lastly-- papillary thyroid cancer generally has an excellent prognosis and good survival rates, but so your friends and family know, it absolutely does metastasize outside the neck and it absolutely does kill people.
Originally Posted by wahpro
Secondly, girlfriend, you are 3 months out from surgery and have described an inadequate treatment response to synthroid with the elevated TSH to prove it. T3 is the active thyroid hormone, T4 is the 'precursor' that doesn't have much biological activity. Synthroid is T4. The ratio that you're describing (high T3) is actually good-- I would interpret it as your body is scavenging all that synthroid and quickly converting it due to demand, but your endocrinologist should go through that with you. Instead of dessicated natural thyroid hormone [which is a hodgepodge made from slaughtered pigs, yuck], more people do better with pure T3 (liothyronine). I'm sure you know the symptoms of hypothyroidism-- fatigue, poor energy, DEPRESSED MOOD, etc. Thyroid status has *profound* psychiatric ramifications and I would urge you to follow up with your endocrinologist and discuss your recent mood changes.
Lastly-- so many of your name choices are on my own list; I love them all. Blaise, Ignatius, Ambrose & Aurelian were on my list. Ignatius could be Nat (not Nate) or Nash; by no means must he be 'Iggy' (a nickname I too despise).
Marinus, Marino, Marin, Marius, Mariner
Congratulations on your son --and for being honest about how you feel. None of us can predict how any part of pregnancy and parenting will feel, it's not your fault. I am expecting my first and while I don't know the gender yet, I really wanted a girl at first and was very worried about precisely what you're going through.
It was the very act of finding a boy's name I LOVE that made me excited about (maybe) having a boy. As a namenerd, the very first parenting thing I was excited about was naming bebe...but as a young woman and teen I spent all my daydreaming on girls names. When DH & I found Lennox, our boys' name, I was so excited about it that I immediately knew there were other aspects of mothering boys that can be great. It opened me up to a new way of thinking. Here's my list:
-I would love to have a "mini" version of my husband
-I would love to see my husband parent a son
-Sons and mothers have a lifelong bond that is very different --and so special-- from daughters and mothers
-I have an opportunity to shape a man, what a precious gift
Meanwhile, today bebe's grandmother made him purple & pink booties & said "if it's a boy I guess those won't work" and I disagree! his daddy wears pink and so can he. There are no rules about what my son "has" to be, nor yours.
Maybe TRY looking around for some names and see if it sparks the feeling that your son is a person you're excited to raise. It worked for me.
You mentioned an inadequate treatment response, are you saying that my medication is ineffective? I think the most upsetting thing about my diagnosis isn't the diagnosis itself, as my prognosis is good, but that I learned my prognosis is good from the internet. My doctors have been completely unhelpful. My endocrinologist is aware of my increasing depression and anxiety, which began in March, not long before this diagnosis (after telling doctors for at least five years that something is wrong with my thyroid --- I've had all of the hypo symptoms that long). However, his solution is to refer me to a psychiatrist. I do not feel as though I need a psychiatrist. I was much better for two years prior to this, which leads me to believe that my sudden recurrence of psychiatric symptoms is very much tied to the thyroid issues. It's incredibly frustrating to be offered klonopin and a shrink, rather than to discuss my symptoms (I've felt like I am on speed since I started the levothyroxine, not to mention the depression and low energy levels). Unfortunately, many doctors who I tried to get in with have told me they won't see me until delivery, where I'm being told I need to immediately undergo RAI.
Originally Posted by blade
I apologize for discussing this with you, as I realize this is a name community and likely something you do to unwind, but I'm appreciative of your information.
I hadn't considered Nash with Ignatius, but that may be a possibility. I may prefer Aurelian to Aurelius, I'll have to keep saying that one to myself. I think I like that sound of that. Admittedly, I cannot pronounce Muir or Meredydd.. any help, Berries?
Thank you for your helpful response on all counts.
Love Ari for Alaric and Nash for Ignatius! I also prefer Aurelian to Aurelius; Ari, Eli, Leo, and Arlo would all be great nicknames for either one.
You won't hear any condemnation from me... in fact, I could have written much of your original post, complete with the serious health issues during pregnancy. Mine comes from a prediagnosed diabetes (not gestational) so not as serious as yours, but still makes for a difficult and uncomfortable time. When I was growing up, I always dreamed of having five daughters and no sons. My plans didn't come true as I didn't have my first daughter until I had already had two sons. I waited quite a while before having another child, losing a baby boy in the meantime. We are currently pregnant with another boy, and I was very upset when I found out that we weren't having the sister that my daughter had prayed for her entire life. I have honestly cried every single time that we have had the gender reveal ultrasound, three times because of major disappointment and once because my dream of having a daughter was actually coming true. So I totally understand the feelings that come with gender disappointment. We found out that we were having another son at the end of April, and I am finally coming to terms with this and even looking forward to it. The only caution I would give is that you might want to be careful in letting your daughters know of your disappointment. I don't really know if the age of your children might keep them from perceiving your feelings, but you definitely want them to be super excited about meeting their new sibling.
I can honestly say that each person is so different and unique that it is hard to come up with what a "boy" looks like. My middle son is a rough and tumble sports loving strong willed boy and my oldest is much more cerebral and still brings me flowers even though he is going to be a teenager next month. I absolutely love and cherish them both. And my daughter is an absolute delight to every one in her family, and she far surpasses the dreams that I had of what having a daughter would be like. They are just all the kids that I was meant to have, and I am so thankful that I was given each of them instead of any other boy or girl in the world. I'm sure you will feel the same way when you hold your precious newborn son and gaze into his eyes for the first time (if not before).
What started getting me excited about expecting another son was finding a name that I love for him (I didn't feel like discussing names for quite a while either), I just hope that I can eventually convince my husband that it is the right choice. I also found some cute outfits and things that I love. Having a daughter brought out a creative side of me that I didn't realize I had until she was born. I love dressing her and making her outfits, bedding, etc. Since I didn't really do this for my oldest sons, all of this is new to me. I have made them some age appropriate presents (like marshmallow guns and a pirate vs. ninja checker set) but there is just so much that you can do with and for little boys that I missed out on because mine were older. When I first found out that we were expecting another boy, I thought that there just wasn't anything new to look forward to. It was all "been there, done that." But it turns out that even after two older boys, there is still something new to experience.
Since I had my daughter, I have gotten to the point where I'm not the kind of person that would just walk into a "big box" store to buy much of anything for my kids. We have even made a trip to Babies R Us and I just didn't see any bedding sets that appealed much to me. My solution was to search on etsy for a lot of things. There are so many adorable outfits and accessories that I have found! I realize that our tastes might not be the same, but here is a sampling of what is on my favorite list for our little boy...
There is just so much out there that you can't find at the "big box" stores. As far as clothing brands, I am really looking forward to shopping mini boden, tea collection, janie and jack, gymboree (they still have some cute baby clothes, I think) and even some boutique brands offer boy clothes, like Lemon Loves Lime (I think their boys brand is called Gnu), Catimini, Monster Republic, Appaman, Knuckleheads and Scotch Shrunk. I am friends with a couple of online boutique owners who have sons and have fabulous tastes that I trust. Even Matilda Jane (one of my favorite brands for my daughter) offers some collections of boy clothing that might be worth searching ebay for when your son gets a little older. There really is no reason to be limited by what you find at the local department store! It is definitely more difficult to find cute clothing for boys (especially when they get to be the ages of my sons... 10 and 12) but if you want to invest the time, there is incredible stuff out there!
For nursery themes, again there is no reason to be limited to the selection of places like Babies R Us. I knew that I likely wouldn't find what I wanted at a place like that, so I again turned to etsy. I just started searching a really broad topic, like "baby boy blanket" and thought of different themes that I might find interesting.... whatever that might be... it could be monsters, puppies, vintage airplanes, sock monkeys, British toy soldiers, etc. there is so much available! Again, your tastes are probably not the same as mine. But I think we have decided on sock monkeys because I love the retro appeal. And you might be the kind that a "theme" doesn't appeal to at all? You can just get something made out of fabrics that you like. I think I read that you like to quilt, so you might find some fabrics or theme that inspires you to try something on your own. That would be a wonderful way to connect you to your coming little one before he is born. Good luck with planning and preparing for your newest blessing!
I totally agree. And I know, for a woman sometimes naming girls is so much more fun. I don't have a lot of boy names I like, and don't get as excited talking about boy's names as I do about girl's names. I hope to have more girls than boys, really.
Originally Posted by pinkballerina
Cordelia and Gretchen are your daughter's names? There are so many nice names (interesting names too) that go well with these names:
But for now, don't concentrate on the name. Mourn the daughter you won't be having, and get yourself used to and excited about having a son. You've had two girls, now a boy, and really that's kind of nice. I'd like to have 2 girls and 1 boy, really. And what strawberry_fields said about her son still giving her flowers? That's just darling. You can raise your son to be a gentleman that respects women, and that's such a great opportunity (because lets face it, we really need more guys who are "true gentleman" and don't get mad at a girl for rejecting them).
Talk to a professional as well, and THEN after you've come to terms with your boy, look for names. And like pinkballerina suggested, look into male figures/heroes/characters that inspire you and your husband.
I'm not a mom, and won't be for quite some time, so I don't have as much experience as some other posters, nor do I know what your going through. But I still don't think it's right for anyone to judge or criticize you for how you feel. Your feelings are completely justifiable. I'm very sorry for what you're going through, both the disappointment and the health issues.
I understand what you mean about boys' names feeling lackluster... I can make lists and lists of girls' names I love, but with boys - nothing ever stands out to me. The only boy name I truly LOVE is Desmond.
I know you haven't had much luck finding room decor you like for boys, or clothes. There's a blog that I follow called Bluebird Vintage. It's run by a mom of four, 2 boys and 2 girls. She has a baby boy, Sailor, and she puts the links to all the places she bought his clothes/bedding/etc. I thought it might provide some inspiration for you: http://bleubirdvintage.typepad.com/
Here are some other cute, non-typical boy clothes and such I found:
http://www.shopminikin.com/bobo-chos...-multi-lemons/ (this is super expensive but the idea's cute!)
http://joefresh.com/en/category/kids-baby-boy (although this is a Canadian store, I think there are only a few in the States - if that's where you are)
Sorry for so many links... Etsy is a really great resource for inspiration! Ditto Pinterest. I really like the previous suggestion of framing pages from children's books as decoration. You could also put wall decals on. Oh, and I thought this had some pretty cool ideas: http://cuffedforlife.tumblr.com/nursery
I wish you the best of luck, and I sincerely hope that things improve for you soon.
Originally Posted by liviajoan
I don't really have much time to get excited. I only have a few weeks to purchase everything and find a name, if that. I don't know how my health problems will impact my delivery, or if it will make me go early or if it won't affect anything at all. I've spoken to a professional and honestly, I left feeling worse (I had another appointment Friday and it really upset me). His position is that my cancer is no big deal, gender disappointment is no big deal, and everything will "work itself out". I'm of the opinion that things don't "work themselves out" unless you help yourself, which I'm trying to do.
I can't really think of any male figures/heroes/characters that inspire us that we like the name of. I do like Thaddeus that you suggested, though. I have compiled a brief list, a few posts up. I don't know though. Some days I feel okay with those names and some days I hate them all.
@ bounceparty & strawberry_fields --- thanks for all the inspiration links!
The girls have no clue I'm disappointed. They are 3 and 4 and the three year old already expressed great disappointment in not having a sister to play dress up with, so I would never say anything to encourage that thought process. My husband knows about my disappointment, but we don't discuss it. I'd rather them be excited than have to worry about me.
Originally Posted by amydomsmom
My husband likes Alaric and Aurelius. He also thinks Ari is acceptable as a first name (I feel like it's lacking substance).
It's good to know that Alaric doesn't necessary mean "Ric", which I really don't like.. it sounds like something one of my dad's friend's would be named... just that era, you know?