I agree with blade, east93, and flick!
I agree with blade, east93, and flick!
It's not that hard to find out if someone's lying regarding pregnancies. Especially if they state that they're not pregnant just looking for names for the years to come in one thread, then two days later they're pregnant with twin girls.
Let's endeavor to be honest and forthright without being nasty. The many devoted people on this board who give such fantastic name advice so generously are extremely valuable to us, and to the many visitors who come here legitimately seeking opinions on names. I hate to see their time and knowledge taken advantage of by people who are faking their situations. But I also hate to see too much energy expended on arguing over the fakery or among ourselves. If in doubt, report suspected fakes to us or mention our names in your comments to give us a heads up (mine and Linda's, not Hugh's as he's busy with the engineering and not the editorial side of the site).
At the risk of repeating myself, I would say be respectful but direct in calling out fakes as you are in giving legitimate advice. A lot of people respond to threads without reading all the comments, so you can very persuasively call out a fake and then three comments later, someone will blythely answer the original question. At that point, I say, just let it go. You've made your point and those who are conscientious readers of the thread and who agree with you will abandon the thread. If things get weird, just let us know. Thanks.
Haha. Nice try, blade.
I really don't want to make a splash, as I'm not a regular here, but I did want to weigh in.
I fully understand wanting to have a reduced fakery on this site. You all seem to love this place very much and want to defend it's integrity. Bravo! It doesn't do anyone any favors to have made-up stories perpetrated here.
However, please, please, please, I implore you, be careful with your words and choose your accused very deliberately! As a doula, child birth educator professionally, and one who has been pregnant, postpartum and is currently pregnant personally, I can ASSURE you that pregnant and recently postpartum women, whom I assume are the majority of the transient members here, are very vulnerable emotionally.
The other day I saw a poster accused of trolling because of an inconsistency in the spelling of her child's name in previous posts. I don't know this person from Adam, but she didn't sound like she was faking to me. She sounded like a mom who had doubts about her decision in names and wanted to present a spelling that was most accepted by this august crowd of name devotees. No one comes here to be told that they have bad taste.
Yesterday I received what felt like a sarcastic comment about the spacing of my children from someone I've noticed as a supporter of imposter outings. I felt I was being judged and subtly accused of fakery, especially since my youngest has an unusual name. The comment was not only incorrect but since the poster didn't mention where they had gotten this information about my family I was a little shocked -- in retrospect my guess is that it was extrapolated from the date my daughter's birth announcement was posted. I do want to be perfectly frank and note that this would have been no big deal to me if child spacing wasn't already an issue that I'm deeply self-conscious about for both myself and other parents (see emotional!!) and feel has little bearing on name choices whatsoever.
Really, if you are going to be posting on anonymous internet forums you need to grow a few layers of skin, but childbearing women lay it all on the line right now. If you have doubts about legitimacy please consider a private message to the poster, or have some code word to alert other "core members" and admins so they can be watchful also. I'm not sure any outing should be done in the public forum, if only on the off chance that they could be telling the truth.
I do want to take just a little more space (blah blah blah - sorry!) and thank those who have given me kind feedback in the past, especially when I first joined and was feeling secret but severe doubt about the appropriateness of my daughter's name. I have already gotten some wonderfully thoughtful suggestions for this next baby.
You're clearly referring to me in your post and I wanted to say that I was not implying you were a faker at all. I was referring to the close spacing and was going to reply to your response with a comment about how lovely a close spacing is (my brother and I are a year and a half apart). I wasn't being sarcastic in the slightest and I think you're being over-sensitive about the topic. I do apologise for offending you, however, as it was not my intention.
I disagree with you though - people who are very clearly faking should be called out.